We're submitting the paperwork on tuesday.

it sucks

that is all.

Sorry, brother.

It will suck for awhile to come. Then it will get better.

My brother is going through it now too. Luckily everything is amicable, and the kids are in there 20's. Good luck with yours.

I hear you brother. I went through two.

The first was after 23 years. She is a narcissistic bitch. Her mom told me the divorce wasn't a surprise, just the fact that her daughter filed (she felt i was justified in filing). Kids and her sisters feel the same and do not speak with her.

#2 was crazy. Not just as a woman but, as i found out after filing, so defined by the court. Her claim was i was her second husband. Oh how i was so ill informed. I was her sixth husband again, finding out after filing (i mean, who would lie about that except madam crazy?).

Turns out #2 was only in it for grand wedding and honeymoon. Literally. It lasted about 14 months, plus the six to finalize the divorce

I am now married to my best friend. And one who holds her kids accountable most of the time (NEVER get between a mama bear and her cubs!).

After 40 years of married life, I am fortunate that we are able to still be friends and will likely live ou rd lives able to continue.

But, for a time, it was worse than dealing with death.

I hope and wish the best outcome for you both.

quote:

I am fortunate that we are able to still be friends and will likely live ou rd lives able to continue.

?? confused

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
After 40 years of married life, I am fortunate that we are able to still be friends and will likely live ou rd lives able to continue.

But, for a time, it was worse than dealing with death.

I hope and wish the best outcome for you both.

This...my friend...this (in spades)...prayers and good thoughts for you and yours thru this.

Like sigmonkey, I'm still friends with my exwife after 17 years and two kids. During the divorce it was bad but over time it's put the kids first and just get along.

In fact I'm sitting here at her house now at 11pm waiting for the A/C repair guys to finish up before I take the kids back to my house. And I want to leave. It's been a long hot shift and I need to go home and shower. I've got body armor stink like you wouldn't believe!

FenderBender, hope you get through yours with your sanity intact. Not going to lie, it's going to suck ass for awhile.

Sorry man.

Signed the papers for mine last November.. about 9 and half years, house, etc, down the drain.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:

quote:

I am fortunate that we are able to still be friends and will likely live ou rd lives able to continue.

?? confused

I think the most difficult decision to file and walk away on the most important oath, except military, in my life, and after(by taking and maintaining the high road the whole way), allowed us to still live our lives with dignity and honor.

Hope that clarifies the post.

Thank you. I just could not figure out exactly what you were saying. Your posts are typically very clear.

If I had clarity on that 40 years, trust me, I would have been able to explain it in a sentence, and likely still bee happily married!

LOL

quote:

Originally posted by FenderBender:
We're submitting the paperwork on tuesday.

it sucks

that is all.

I went thru it 5 years ago. It was hands down the hardest thing Ive ever dealt with and I never thought I would recover, emotionally or financially.

I survived. You will too.

My email is in my profile if you need to talk to someone about it. It helps.

Filed in October of last year. Final Friday the 13th in January. We still talk alot. Actually had dinner last night with her before work. Not sure where it's going. Doubt we'll ever be in a true relationship, but we seem to be good friends still. I still love her more than anything and always will.

I'd be perfectly content to never see or speak to my ex for the rest of my life. I never really liked her that much to begin with. Nearly a decade of her treating me like sit and using the kids against me as I worked 60 to 80 hour weeks to keep her happy sealed that shit.

However, our kids are 9 and 6. I've got 12 more years.

One bright spot, once I finish child support, I'll have an extra grand+ a month I'll be used to not having that I can throw towards retirement. My plan is to fully retire at 52. She will likely have to work forever, as her inability to manage money sunk our relationship, and it hasn't improved any at all.

But it was not fun. And I'm still not recovered. Certainly on my way back up, finally. And now married to an amazing woman, way over my head. And I treat her like a queen!

quote:

Originally posted by Jaywendland1981:
It will suck for awhile to come. Then it will get better.

This for sure.

At least you knew it was coming. Mine was a complete surprise.

My ex left me the day after Christmas of 1999. It was a total shock, I didn't have a clue she was messing around.
The first 6 months or so was tough, but it got better. I can actually speak to her now without wanting to see her burst into flames.
OP, it'll get better, I promise. Just give it time, and take time for yourself.

My starter wife started to stray after 23 years,I thought it was worth than death.
Couple years later my life was changed when this little fox asked me out.
I married that lady and we were like on a honey moon for eight years till she passed.
The thing I am trying to convey is there are happier times ahead for you,trust this old man on that.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: 45 Cal,

I hope it can be amicable. Mine was (and is) not.
Peace be upon everyone involved.