So I have been culling the herd lately and have been doing a lot of interviews and hiring.

But let’s back up a step. A resume. It’s pretty simple. It doesn’t take a great one to be a repacking assistant. I mean this is an entry level job posted on Indeed. I’m not looking for a special talent or degree, pretty much, can you stand in one place and bag spices quickly without waste. Oh, you cannot be a douche waffle. I want people with an IQ higher than my shoe. See, low expectations.

One resume I had the joy of reading said “Make ur bizznez gr8 with me”.

Another one had a return email address of bangingyourmom@...

A cover letter I can only assume was typed in a phone... I (heart emoji) ur store n da natral products you sell. I want 2 werk 4 u cuz of ur good products.

Aside of these three that I noted so I could share with you all, the overall terrible grammar is astounding. I’m no English major, but Christ almighty, most phones will help you with spelling and grammar. Punctuation is a given on a phone nowadays.

It took a lot of effort on my part to actually write what they wrote, because the all seeing iPad doesn’t like my shit spelling or grammar. I probably have to wipe my custom keyboard now, as “werk” has probably been stored as a word.

Anyways, the job pool sucks. Unemployment is so low that I can only get entry level employees to fill entry level positions. It wasn’t that long ago I had college degrees applying for entry level positions.

Okay, I’m done whining. Tomorrow is six interviewees that have made it through the phone screen and received an in person interview. Two positions to fill. God be with me that out of 50+ applicants, 20+ phone screens, and 6 interviews, that at least 2 are worthy of hiring.

Five years ago I took over my current position (created it for my employer, really), and had to hire my paralegal.

Of over 130 applications, about 40 made it through the HR screening and landed on my desk. Of those, I only found three that were worth interviewing (two, really, but HR made me interview at least three), and only ONE was qualified for the job.

I thank God that she accepted the position. She’s fantastic and I couldn’t keep things going without her, but damn, if she hadn’t applied I would probably have had to re-post the job and start head-hunting the old fashioned networking way.

-Rob

Argh I have to post an ad. So not looking forward to it. I hate the interview process. Everyone lies.

Have you tried hiring ex-cons.....through like the local prison..... Most of them are REALLY good at bagging spices without any waste and most are really good workers while they're on probation. Another thought is retirees part time looking for something to do......and some pocket money.

Trying to hire right now is damn near impossible. I work for a company that pays good wages, and excellent benefits even for part time. People get hired and quit in less than a week because they have expectations to perform, those expectations keep getting lower and lower. It's scary, and it's why companies are spending millions of dollars to automate as much as possible.

Nothing really new about this except electronic devices.

In the early 80's I needed a trainee in the parts department that I managed. CETA funds were available and my dealership's owner felt we should hire through the state jobs office.

I got applicants coming smelling like they never took a bath, coming in drunk. One guy put on his application the last job he worked at ended in 1967, this was 1983. When I asked him what he had done between 1967 to the present date he said "Around". One guy came in, clean, sober, seemed pretty good on the surface. I handed him an application, he handed it to his uncle in the waiting area. I asked him why and he replied that he could not read or write. Scratch him off the list.

The icing on the cake was being accused of being prejudiced because I would not hire any of those applicants, this came from the head of the local job service office.

The only way this story could be better is if your name is Dumass. "So am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?"

My business (small auto repair shop) has had trouble of this kind. One jerkoff who made it past the application spent more time smoking cigarettes - and tossing the butts all over - than working, but the final straw was when it was discovered that he didn't have a driver's license, necessary if one is going to be driving customers' cars. (They really should have checked this before hiring him.)

quote:

I got applicants coming smelling like they never took a bath, coming in drunk.

Collecting unemployment? They can say (somewhat) legitimately that they applied for a job without having to actually get one. One's sights and goals in life have to be pretty low to be satisfied with barely enough to live on.

quote:

Originally posted by egregore:
The only way this story could be better is if your name is Dumass. "So am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?"

My business (small auto repair shop) has had trouble of this kind. One jerkoff who made it past the application spent more time smoking cigarettes - and tossing the butts all over - than working, but the final straw was when it was discovered that he didn't have a driver's license, necessary if one is going to be driving customers' cars. (They really should have checked this before hiring him.)

How did they let him get past the paperwork stage of being hired with no driver’s license? Wow.

quote:

Originally posted by jimmy123x:
Have you tried hiring ex-cons.....through like the local prison..... Most of them are REALLY good at bagging spices without any waste and most are really good workers while they're on probation. Another thought is retirees part time looking for something to do......and some pocket money.

I live in a valley of retirees. Most are very well to do. Plus lifting 50 pounds regularly... the convict thing, no thanks. I get enough through the application process already.

My employer says they have almost 40 positions to fill in the production areas. They’re constantly hiring but no one stays. When I walk through these areas most of the people are sitting on their asses doing nothing so I’m not sure why they need more people to do this. The ones that get hired and make it more than a week or two can’t even count. I remarked to a coworker this week that the bad thing about a great economy is that even morons have jobs and the rest of us suffer for it.

quote:

Originally posted by Leemur:
My employer says they have almost 40 positions to fill in the production areas. They’re constantly hiring but no one stays. When I walk through these areas most of the people are sitting on their asses doing nothing so I’m not sure why they need more people to do this. The ones that get hired and make it more than a week or two can’t even count. I remarked to a coworker this week that the bad thing about a great economy is that even morons have jobs and the rest of us suffer for it.

40 open positions? What percentage is that?
I would say if you have a turnover issue that is that bad, it’s twofold. You may not be offering competitive pay, and it sounds like your production area needs some proper management and holding lazy people accountable. I took over the operations of a DC that had a 128% annual turnover rate. Within a year we were less than 20%. It took a lot of work, communication, and accountability. The ship was righted and the money started flowing in.

It’s probably less than 5% of the total workforce but they’ve been trying to fill those jobs for over a year. The pay is a little lower than the rest of the area but the work is also not nearly as demanding and the benefits are way better than most. Management absolutely needs to crack down on the lazy ones but they’re afraid to run off anyone that keeps showing up.

A few years back, my paint contracting business was in need of some good help. After hiring two buddies and some gal with some experience...I finished the monster projects mostly alone and never ever taking on work that required more than maybe another painters help short term. Damn cell phones glued to their hand made it difficult to actually 'work'.

Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,

Now I get earning a gold, silver and bronze metal but, what is the fourth metal?

This was for a technical writer position.

I read your first two paragraphs. I thought, "Come on. You need to give people some slack especially for a low entry job. You can't expect college level writing.

Then I read your examples.

I'll back out of the thread now. LOL

I especially like the "I emoji heart line."

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,

He probably used a lot of ordinance there, too. (This - instead of the correct ordnance - particularly grates on my nerve.)

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Now I get earning a gold, silver and bronze metal but, what is the fourth metal?

Lead?

quote:

Originally posted by egregore:

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Did an interview a few years back, the gentleman was getting out of the military and, not to call out the USMC in particular, noted on his resume how he earned four metals which in Iraq,

He probably used a lot of ordinance there, too. (This - instead of the correct ordnance - particularly grates on my nerve.)

And he was in a Calvary position.

In a similar vein ...

I was an attorney before retiring. One of the last big deals I negotiated for my client involved dealing with an attorney for the other side who was much younger. While her grammar and spelling were normal, her e-mails were filled with emojis and lots of exclamation points that more resembled Facebook posts: "As we discussed on the call, our company carries both primary and umbrella coverages!! "

WTF? You're an attorney representing your client. Try to act like a grownup.