My wife and I differ on this topic. She’s constantly trying to keep the kiddos from feeling shame, or rather, ashamed of (most) of their actions or choices. I on the other hand am of the mindset that a level of shame is not only healthy, but educational. A useful emotion that helps us make better decisions in the future based on previous experiences.

Same goes for idiots in traffic that do something stupid right in front of you and/or require you to take evasive action because of them. I always honk as a sign of “hey dumbo”. She hates it. My retort is that people need to feel ashamed of their stupid decisions or else they’ll never change. I realize this one may be slightly petty example, but whatever.

What are your thoughts on it? Is shame a useful emotion?

I believe in the "praise in public and chastise in private". There is nothing wrong with being ashamed/shaming for something wrong that you/someone did. It is how we better ourselves and others. Too bad most don't feel it anymore.

I'm on your side. Shame is a powerful motivator, and the absence of it leads to a decaying culture. One need only take a look around these days.

Shame can be a powerful teaching tool for kids.

However, I only honk to get someone’s attention on the road. Doing what you do will get you shot around here.

quote:

Originally posted by SigM4:


Same goes for idiots in traffic that do something stupid right in front of you and/or require you to take evasive action because of them. I always honk as a sign of “hey dumbo”.

I agree with you except for this. I rarely honk at anyone these days. I've seen too many stories of road rage idiots stopping and brandishing weapons because someone honked at them.

I'm just gonna leave this right here:

https://youtu.be/sRgqrsXhxog?si=52_ZoDN7aNHGtos9

If you can't feel shame then you have no values.

This totally depends on what the shame is about.

No shame in failing, you should be ashamed for failing due to lack of effort.

No shame in not being first, you should be ashamed if your behind, again, for lack of effort.

I agree with most everything posted here. Feeling shame is an important emotion. No different than feeling pride over a job well done.

Have you ever asked your wife why she feels the way she does?

Adults with no shame are a scourge on our society. You are correct feeling shame, goes along with being a good person. Shame is your conscience with hindsight.

I think a lot would depend on the age of the kids in question, and the thing that they’re doing that inspires you to shame them.

Yes, it’s a tool, but I don’t believe it’s always the correct way to go about it.

You're fighting a losing battle. Today's norms would make your grand parent's heads spin. It's all about "feelings" today. There are no more absolutes. People want their so called rights, without responsability. When a supreme court justice candidate thinks that men can become pregnant, anything goes.