My oldest brother and I won’t speak with our youngest brother. He has so many problems it isn’t even worth trying to list them all. About 7 years ago, he told me his goal was to destroy the family which has succeeded in accomplishing. He has also told me, via text, that our mother is a “G#$ Damn Bi%ch and that our father has lived out any useful life. The problem is that, despite his opinion of our parents, which I have tried to share with them by showing them the texts, he has them convinced my oldest brother and I are mean to him and don’t understand how “sick” he is.

On top of everything, my parents have loaned him hundreds of thousands of dollars because he can’t work - which is BS. He won’t work and mooches off my parents yet, he has a six figure firearm collection, and more toys than I will ever own yet he can’t sell them because he deserves them. A few years ago, they even bought him a brand new Duramax 4x4 Chevrolet because he needed a reliable vehicle. I asked them why they didn’t buy him a Toyota Corolla if he needed something. No answer. Shortly after they bought him the truck, my cousin called to tell me that my brother was bragging about how he had conned my parents into buying him the truck.

To add to everything else, his second wife left him because she couldn’t tolerate him anymore - something I warned everyone would happen if he didn’t get his act together. However, nobody remembers this tidbit of advice (my oldest brother excepted) and everyone but my oldest brother blame his ex for the divorce.

Oh, did I mention he is or was a physician? He could work part time and make a very nice income but he’d rather sit in his bedroom, in my parent’s home, complaining about everything - that is when he isn’t out riding his motorcycles, driving his Audi sports car, camping, shooting, hunting, etc. etc. etc.

Do "Brother-in-law's" count?

I've got 2 Brother-in-laws.
One is and absolute Prince. He'll give you the shirt off his back on the coldest day of the year, and the last dollar out of his pocket. We worked on the same team together years ago, and that's how I met his sister, now my loving bride, and the poor woman that has to put up with me and my nonsense. He's a phenomenal person, great work ethic, and I honestly don't think he's ever said a bad word about anyone.

Then there's asshole.
Asshole is the youngest of the three. Had some "horrible" back injury playing softball of all things that "ruined" his life, and his ability to work. The first DUI couldn't have ever been his fault, nor was he ever drunk because he didn't blow. The only way he got away with that one is his lawyer dropped him as a client, and the Judge dismissed the case. Somehow, asshole, at the worst moment, is able to get really lucky. You'll find out as this story continues.

The second DUI, which again wasn't his fault, cost him his drivers license. Poor guy couldn't drive to work... Not that he had a job... Still lived at home, got a small disability check, worked a few odd jobs for cash, spent it all on booze. What few odd jobs he did manage to do, Dad or Mom drove him to. I'd say it would be somewhat embarrassing for a 30something year old to be driven to work by his parents, but not asshole...

Mom would be on him to do something with his life, then Dad would stick up for him, then Dad would get on him, and Mom would enable his childish lifestyle. Never paid rent, nothing for groceries, never gave his parents any money while he lived under their roof until his 40's.

Asshole stayed up all night, watching TV and drinking, would sleep all day, lather, rinse, repeat. Ahhh, guess who mysteriously came down with "Tinitus" after watching those late night commercials?

I burnt a pretty big favor with a friend of mine. I got him an interview with a construction company, friend was a Manager there... Not a bad wage to operate heavy machinery... I gave asshole a shirt and tie to look presentable for the interview, offered for him to stay at my house, because the office is within walking distance. Asshole took my nice shirt and tie, and never showed up for the interview.

Somehow, asshole got surgery to fix his back. It went wrong, Dr packed up shop and left town. No other Dr wants to touch asshole to fix another Dr's mistakes. Somehow, asshole gets in touch with one of the better malpractice lawyers in Chicago... Lawsuit is filed. Before any of it gets to court, asshole decided to get extra drunk all night. When his mother confronted him, he gets into a physical fight with her. All I'll say is it was bad. After finding out from a few mutual aquatints, that fight wasn't his fault either...

After he was arrested, and the order of protection was filed, he wasn't allowed near the house. I damn sure wasn't letting him anywhere near mine, and my other Brother-in-law would probably kill him if he ever sees him again... Hell, I'd probably help him. Being the savvy person he was, take a wild guess who went from living in a friends garage, and screwing that up (seems like his friends wife didn't appreciate asshole pissing in her new car when he got drunk), to living in a box out in the forest preserves.

Well, the lawyer was able to spin this information and the suit was settled out of court. Asshole got a few Million. To this day, after him winning the lawsuit, the ONLY contact he had with his parents was to get his stuff out of their place. Never gave them any money after all the years of leeching off of them.

At this point he ain't even "liked".

There's a lot of other things that asshole screwed up, but the above are the highlights of his career.

My older sister was dysfunctional. Alcohol, prescription drugs, diagnosed bipolar. She was hell to grow up around - controlling, mind games, and abusive until I got bigger and beat the shit out of her. It was impossible to have a normal relationship and after we both left home I pretty much gave up any effort. Any family gathering resulted in her constantly contradicting everything I said for no real reason.

After her husband split she moved in with my mom and unbeknownst to me ran up $100K in home equity on a paid off house and $40K on credit cards. My mom enabled it of course, because my sister had been type 1 diabetic since age 2 and that served as her excuse for everything. When things reached a breaking point I had her thrown out by the police twice - first time to mental hospital to shape up - and again after she returned and promised to be better but went back to the same shit. It was sink or swim on her own, and she sank. Dead at 39 of deliberate neglect of her diabetes. I didn't feel much of anything about it, and I kinda felt bad that I didn't, but not enough to make a difference.

Now my mom lives close to me in an old folks place, and she drives me crazy. I'm always doing damage control over one stupid thing or another. Now it's the back seat driving. I've lived here for 20 years and never had an at-fault accident with another car in my life. Invariably she has to say something stupid and I tell her just sit there and enjoy the ride and don't tell me how to drive. And within 30 seconds she does it again.

The worst part is the panic noises she makes that make me feel like someone I didn't see is about to T-bone me and I'm looking around quickly to see what impending doom is about to happen. And what is it? Some car a ways ahead has its brake lights on and I already had the clutch in, downshifted and was covering the brake. But apparently I am supposed to use the brakes like an on-off switch like she does.

That's not the half of it. I've been cleaning up after one stupid thing or another for 20 years. I swear she was bound and determined to piss away everything my dad left her one way or another and she damn near did. Listening to everyone else instead of the only person in the world that is not trying to steal anything from her. All she has to do is follow the plans we agree to and call me before making decisions and invariably she goes off the map and I have to fix it. Two years ago I took control of the finances, had the trust rewritten and have her on a cash allowance. Seems to be working so far.

I should be patient, I should ignore the annoyances and just be nice. But I can't, I have no patience left.

I’ve detailed it in other discussions but there’s usually one in every family. Mine is a cousin I grew up with who is now (and has been for some 30 years or so) a junkie and all around scumbag piece of shit. He’s dead to me and almost the entire family.

quote:

Originally posted by CPD SIG:

Well, the lawyer was able to spin this information and the suit was settled out of court. Asshole got a few Million. To this day, after him winning the lawsuit, the ONLY contact he had with his parents was to get his stuff out of their place. Never gave them any money after all the years of leeching off of them.

At this point he ain't even "liked".

There's a lot of other things that asshole screwed up, but the above are the highlights of his career.

I’m sure he’ll be broke again in no time

Someone like that will squander it all away or be scammed out of it in short order.