Act The First.

Well, you see, I guess we needed a new bathroom fan. Because, they now have Bluetooth.

Not sure why that is relevant, but according to the wife, it is downright vital.

I was informed that installation was not only quick and easy, but in fact, the simplest method of proving red blooded manliness. Checked the instructions to see what tools are required: Phillips head screwdriver. Well, let’s get started.

Got the old fan out easy enough. And yes, used a Phillips head screwdriver, just like they said I would. Turns out, after this point, they kind of left out a couple more tools required. Good thing the tool box is in the garage, about as far from the upstairs bathroom as you can get and still be technically in the house.

Act The Second.

Like, say a flathead screwdriver. So I can try to pop out the sheet metal retainers to release the fan housing box. Got em pried out flat, now just wiggle the box free and we are good to go…. Or not. No wiggling. Bigger flathead screwdriver so I can get under the edge and really get after it. Maybe a pair of pliers so I get a better grip. Nope. What I actually need is a bigger set of pliers.

OK. Bigger pliers make it clear this thing ain’t moving. Double check again, make sure there’s no screws holding it in. Nothing. Just wedged in nice and good. More grabbing, screw it, I’ll just bend the metal in, that should allow for enough slack to get it freed up enough to yank the little sucker out.

Sure enough, I can at least tilt it down far enough to get at one side. But no further. Just far enough however, that we get introduced to the blown in insulation that fills the attic. About forty seven cubic feet worth land on my head, and then gently redistribute themselves around the counter and floor. Well fuck me sideways. Best of all, the housing box still ain’t budging.

Well, fine. It’s bent all to hell, and it’s not like I was going to use it again. I figure that, due to science, if I could get a cut in it, I could then fold it inwards and it will drop free. Try a battery powered saw, and that gets nowhere since the whole thing just vibrates about like a demented chihuahua on crack. Fine. I can go old school and just beat the ever loving crap out of it. Large ball peen hammer and a one inch cold chisel.

Half an hour of smashing, mostly the sheet metal, but throwing in the occasional shot to a finger or a hand just to keep my vocabulary up to speed. Finally get the sucker cut through, and a bunch of bending lets me see that there are, in fact, screws holding the box in. Screws that were somehow put in behind the inner layer of sheet metal. So, no just unscrewing them. But also no getting the damn box out with them still in there.

Time for tool number seventeen or so. Giant ass crowbar. Bigger hammer. Get it hammered in there and get to prying away. After quite a lot of “instructional language”, I finally get the bastard out. More or less in one piece. One piece of mangled bent up sheet steel, but it’s out. Time to install the new one. Should be the easy part, right? Right?

Act The Third.

More or less goes together easy enough. I’m getting cocky. Blood pressure dropping back into the high normal range! Then we come to putting in the mounting screws to hold the new box.

The screws. Specifically, the made in China screws.

It’s more or less proof positive of their sheer mastery of the manufacturing arts. How long, I wonder, how long did they struggle to develop the alloy of (I can only assume) aluminum, zinc, and maybe used bubble gum to use in making wood screws? And what slack jawed, vacant eyed, smooth brain mumblefuck decided that saving twelve and a half cents on a hundred dollar fan was a reasonable application of the capitalist model?

For fucks sake, we can’t really think that a screw that seems to be a race with itself to see if the head will strip out before the shaft snaps in half, all while a hapless homeowner tries to angle a screwdriver through a cutout in the ceiling balanced on top of a stepladder, was a good idea? I know there are all sorts of fastening devices made of actual metal, stainless steel even. Could you throw a couple in the damn box? Or do I really need to make another trip to the local hardware store to buy more screws?

Anyway, got new screws, screwed the new box in, fan installed, and it didn’t even burst into flames when I popped the breaker back on.

I’m gonna go drink some bourbon. Last I checked, it still doesn’t require Bluetooth…

Bill R

The Remains:

What?

All that and no picture of the new fan?

Righteous Rant, Brother!

And 'virus, you like to live dangerously, don't you.

quote:

Originally posted by flesheatingvirus:
What?

All that and no picture of the new fan?

Well, fair point!



Not really much to look at, though, just a big ol lit up ring…

But with Bluetooth!

And some 100% connectivity free bourbon:



Bill R

Yeah, the bathroom fan is installed before the sheet rock goes up, the bezel put in with all the other trim parts, a piece of cardboard stuffed inside the box so it doesn't get painted or ceiling textured after the sheet rock hanger uses a small router to cut the hole in the sheetrock.
(and the box is larger than the cutout, so it ain't coming out nice and friendly like...)

Or a shorter version; a house is built, a fan box is suspended with a skyhook and the house is built around it...

So.. you turn on the fan with Bluetooth? Is that it? You can’t just flip a switch on the wall on the way in or out?

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
So.. you turn on the fan with Bluetooth? Is that it? You can’t just flip a switch on the wall on the way in or out?

Apparently anything on my iPhone playlist will immediately blast into full volume anytime I go into the bathroom.

So… awesome.

Bill R

Class A rant, sir!

I've "felt your pain" on that one, having replaced a couple of bathroom fans here at Casa de Vthoky.

I think sigmonkey is correct about the skyhook thing.

Did you leave out a whole paragraph about the joy of working over your head?

Could this have been easier if you'd gone to the attic first?

Ah, Bluetooth. Someday I will do that rant.

Calls to mind a quotation from my old man:
"If it aint one damn thing, its another"!

Just did that in our master bath. While prying, prodding & cussing up a storm to get the sheet metal out. it seems it was installed while the house was being built. Yep it's screwed in from the top & side...No access to the screwheads.
Had to literally rip it out. Haven't tried installing the replacement yet. Saving that for a better day.

The new install looks nice and clean!

quote:

Originally posted by stylophiles:

Finally get the sucker cut through, and a bunch of bending lets me see that there are, in fact, screws holding the box in. Screws that were somehow put in behind the inner layer of sheet metal. So, no just unscrewing them. But also no getting the damn box out with them still in there.

That was most likely originally installed from above which is why it looks that way to you.

Epic writeup! I'm impressed...your final results looks pretty good, and you didn't set the house on fire or electrocute yourself in the process !

I've done enough rounds with the Chinese screws that I don't even mess with them anymore...I have a big tub of drywall screws and other assorted fasteners in the garage that I go to for anything that might require even a small amount of torque, and just ditch the ones included in the box.

As to removing the old fan, I favor your technique. I like to say that every problem in life can be resolved through proper use of force, so when in doubt just get a bigger hammer and a bigger bar . In the past year I was also introduced to the battery powered sawzall, which is another excellent implement of destruction, especially with a metal blade against screws.

After your bourbon, this might cause you to do dumb things, so don't read further.

1. If the housing was the same size, you could probably Macgyver'd it for re-use.
2. If it WASN'T the same size, as all of the fucking fans my wife likes seem to be, you were cutting drywall anyway, so might as well use the excuse to purchase a multi-tool saw that would have only cost you a couple fingers, but saved 1/2 the time. Good trade.

Sayz the guy on his 5th fan in 2 bathrooms in 12 years. Last year, I put an 8" remote-mount in & just unplugged the noise maker. It's quieter AND sucks more. I will do the same in the hall bath once it gets annoying enough.

I love the description of the metallurgy of the chinesium screws