Back on October 3rd, I went to the Maine Veteran's Assistance office and the nice feller there helped me submit a claim for hearing loss.

I've been waiting more-or-less patiently for the claim to filter through the VA bureaucracy.

Today, my wife took a recorded phone call mumbling something about an appointment somewhere sometime in March and they'd send a letter with details. Even after pressing # or whatever to repeat the message, that's all she could understand due to piss poor audio quality and low volume. She did manage to get a call back number.

So, wanting to confirm that it was about my claim, I called the number. And got piss poor audio quality, low volume and, as best as I could make out, about a bajillion options that required (I think) my phone number, my claim number, the date the claim was made, my SSN, my birthdate and my step-mother's second cousin's blood type.

(Okay, I lied about the blood thing)

I suspect that a significant percentage of VA claims are for hearing loss. Here's a hint, ya dumb fucks: GET A DECENT RECORDING BY SOMEONE WHOSE FIRST LANGUAGE IS ENGLISH AND HAVE THEM SPEAK THE FUCK UP!

To rot on hold until your skeletal remains are discovered by anthropologists, press one now!

Please listen closely as our menu may have changed.

quote:

Today, my wife took a recorded phone call mumbling something about an appointment somewhere sometime in March and they'd send a letter with details. Even after pressing # or whatever to repeat the message, that's all she could understand due to piss poor audio quality and low volume. She did manage to get a call back number.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The VA is pretty good about sending out letters for exams outside the VA system. Just wait for the letter to arrive.

Please tell me you didn't provide your DOB and SSN to an automated system at an unknown callback number based on a dubious automated voicemail that you didn't understand...

If so, your 15 newly opened credit cards and the contents of your bank account are probably halfway to Nigeria by now.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
Please tell me you didn't provide your DOB and SSN to an automated system at an unknown callback number based on a dubious automated voicemail that you didn't understand...

If so, your 15 newly opened credit cards and the contents of your bank account are probably halfway to Nigeria by now.

Not a chance in hell. I didn't even finish listening to the menu choices before I said "Fut dis" and hung up.

If only I had a time machine and an alibi.

Yeah, just wait for the letter. It'll tell you when and where and there'll be a phone number to call to cancel or change the appointment date if you have a conflict.

Bob

quote:

Originally posted by Krazeehorse:
Please listen closely as our menu may have changed.

Everybody's menu has changed, so listen up.

quote:

Originally posted by YooperSigs:
To rot on hold until your skeletal remains are discovered by anthropologists, press one now!

Now that is funny!!!

quote:

Originally posted by straightshooter1:
Yeah, just wait for the letter. It'll tell you when and where and there'll be a phone number to call to cancel or change the appointment date if you have a conflict.

Bob

That's what I thought. Thanks for confirming it.

Good one YooperSigs! Sorry about your troubles with VA PHPaul. It is truly shameful the way we treat our Vets. Criminals get better treatment in this country. Sad! Trump has been trying to fix this but it is an uphill battle.
Rod

quote:

Originally posted by sig sailor:
Good one YooperSigs! Sorry about your troubles with VA PHPaul. It is truly shameful the way we treat our Vets. Criminals get better treatment in this country. Sad! Trump has been trying to fix this but it is an uphill battle.
Rod

Progress is being made. Glacial, but progress.

I feel your pain.

I use Steve Martin's routine on voice menus.

As soon as one of those things ask me something I say:

"Mamboo dogpatch banana" each time it asks.

Eventually the system sends me to an operator-

Tip:

When the automated menu starts, if you press '0', sometimes it'll take you to a humanoid right away.

I must be the most fortunate vet in the US. I never seem to have trouble with the VA (not saying they are perfect, just I never seem to have any problems).

For example, I went out today to an appointment at 9AM, home by 10. I met with the one of the ARNPs in the GI clinic. I need a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. I'm due for these because of the time that's passed since my last ones and because they found polyps in the endoscopy last time.

So, she set it on the date I wanted in early March, at the time I wanted it, first one in the morning at 630 AM, they are going to do both procedures at the same time (hopefully they won't use the same tube for both) and gave me another prep drink since I really despise the Golytely. To the best of my knowledge, I'd never met this lady before today.

I don't know if it's this VA Hospital, but I am always surprised when I read that other vets have problems with the VA clinics/hospitals. I'm talking about the docs, nurses, practitioners, techs, etc., NOT the bureaucrats who run it.

I can't recall ever going to a VA Clinic. I think I've only gone to the two hospitals here in TampaBay, Bay Pines here and Haley over in Tampa.

At Haley, where we were pretty lost being in real unfamiliar surroundings, more than once an employee stopped what they were doing to take us-actually walk us-to the clinic or office we were looking for.

I've had that happen at a big Hospital in Tampa, too, St. Josephs, when we went to see a friend.

Maybe it's a Florida thing.....I don't know.

Bob

I got the appointment confirmation letter today. All good there.

Didn't realize the VA will reimburse for mileage. The letter pointed that out and said since my address of record was a PO Box, they couldn't accurately determine mileage or give me directions to the contractor that I have an appointment to see.

No problem, I hit google maps and found it no sweat. Tried to call the contractor to give them a physical address so they could compute mileage and ran into...

another fucking phone tree that doesn't appear to have an option to speak to a human being.

Hopefully, I'll be able to straighten it out in person. If not, oh well, I didn't know I could get mileage anyway.

I don't live far enough away to get mileage, but I know that many vets get it, there's usually a short line of vets waiting to get reimbursed.

Someone said they pay in cash, but I'm not sure.

Glad your letter came.

I bragged on the VA here, but forgot I gotta go out Wednesday for three appointments, 9, 10 and 11.

We'll see if my "luck" with them holds out.

Bob

At the call center where I used to work, one of the other phone reps also did some acting on the side, including voice work. So when it came time for a new phone-tree system, they just used him. Meaning that when a customer called in, they would navigate through the phone tree hearing a certain voice, then if my friend happened to pick up, they would hear a live person with exactly the same voice. At that point, they didn't know if they were talking to a man or machine.

"Are...you...talking to me???"