Answer: V-Tail, standing in the express checkout line behind somebody who can't count to ten.

It's really kind of funny. They get all pissed off, as if I am the one who is being an inconsiderate asshole.

You're not being inconsiderate...

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
You're not being inconsiderate...

Of course not. I am just helping her count. It's pretty clear that she is the product of schools that are weak on teaching arithmetic.

I did explain that if she ran out of fingers before she ran out of items, she was in the wrong checkout line. That didn't go over too well, either.

I told the cashier that it was a good thing that I did not have his job. I would probably last about ten minutes, if that, before I got fired. I would say something like "which ten items do you want?"

They need new software for the cash registers, they need to lock up when ten items have been rung up.

I did something similar once. Lady in front of me had over 30 items. As she was ringing out she leaned back and said she did not realize she had that many groceries. I told her that was OK, in that there was a $10/extra item penalty payable to everyone in line behind her.

After she left I asked the cashier why she did not call her out and she said they are not allowed to do so.

So VTail, like you I probably would not last long as a cashier.

I was walking past a tall wooden fence the other day, you know the kind you see outside a building site. As I walked along beside it I heard chanting coming from behind the fence further up... they were chanting numbers, or rather just one number.

"Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, ..." they excitedly chanted. It sounded like a small crowd, young and old; men, women and children. All of them saying the same number over and over.

As I approached I saw a small hole in the fence just big enough to look through. The hole was right where the sound appeared to be originating from.

So, with the crowd continuing to chant "... thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen" and it seeming to become more intense as I leaned down to place my eye at the hole and work out WTF was happening in there.

Just as I put my eye to the hole a small finger like that of a child poked me in the eye and the crowd stared cheered loudly and started chanting again..

"Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

^^^^^
That was my first thought, too. An oldie but goodie. I even used it once in The Cat Thread!

I’ve been the guy with more than 12 items before. Come to check out, no one in that line, all others full up, lady waves me to hers. As soon as she starts to check me out others immediately show up. Oh well, next time it will be me behind the deadbeat.

^^^^^^
Hah! Same thing happened to me. Once. After that, I confused cashiers by refusing to fall into that trap and stayed in the long line.

It's embarrassing, even it it's not your fault.

At my store the express line in 15 items. I did a count and had 15 on the nose.
As I'm unloading the cart onto the belt, the guy behind me huffs to his wife in a loud voice, "Some people just can't read!"

I said, "Yeah, no kidding. It's almost as annoying as the people who can't count."

The cashier kept looking down praying that none of this was going to involve her.

quote:

Originally posted by Sigfest:
I’ve been the guy with more than 12 items before. Come to check out, no one in that line, all others full up, lady waves me to hers. As soon as she starts to check me out others immediately show up. Oh well, next time it will be me behind the deadbeat.

Ha! I was in a Publix once and had a manager actually send me over to the express line with a semi-full cart. When I got there, the cashier started to give me a hard time before I explained what I was doing there.

I appreciated her attitude, but I bet she didn’t last too long.

-Rob

Curious: How does one count items?

Bread, milk, yogurt. 3 Items, right?

One loaf of bread, 1 quart of milk, a dozen individual servings of yogurt. 3 items or 14?

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
Curious: How does one count items?

Bread, milk, yogurt. 3 Items, right?

One loaf of bread, 1 quart of milk, a dozen individual servings of yogurt. 3 items or 14?

Carton of eggs = 12 items. No fast lane for you.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
Curious: How does one count items?

Bread, milk, yogurt. 3 Items, right?

One loaf of bread, 1 quart of milk, a dozen individual servings of yogurt. 3 items or 14?

Carton of eggs = 12 items. No fast lane for you.

Good God! No WONDER I got such dirty looks checking out with a bag of Reeses Pieces!

I think out Express is 15 or 16. Someone with 18 in the age of scanners takes all of another five seconds. Not worth getting in a huff about.

That's vastly different than 35 or 40.

quote:

Originally posted by rscalzo:
I think out Express is 15 or 16. Someone with 18 in the age of scanners takes all of another five seconds. Not worth getting in a huff about.

That's vastly different than 35 or 40.

Fast lane in Publix stores around here is ten items, no checks.

It seems that the jerks who go to the fast lane with way more than ten items have multiple coupons, they stand there in a daze while everything is scanned, then when the total is announced they suddenly realize that they actually need to pay for this stuff and it's now time to start rummaging through that huge purse, looking for -- you guessed it -- a checkbook. And then of course, they need to get into a long drawn out conversation with the cashier.

V-Tail: "Do you think we could slow this down a little? All this speed is making me dizzy."

I know it is not a formal express lane per se but this past weekend I tried to sneak into Wally World via the garden center to grab one item for my daughter (shampoo). When I went to leave there was a woman in front of me who had done, what appeared to be, grocery shopping for a small family and was trying to check out at the tiny ill equipped register. Not only was this an asshole move on her part for both the people behind her and the cashier (who should have sent her away) but who eff wants to put the produce and food on a register where people have been buying bug spray and fertilizer.

The Kroger by me changed the sign to read "around 10 items"