When I talk to my wife about my nephew, my wife correctly says: "He's not your son."

Anyway,
I'm 6'2" tall and my 8th grade, 13 year old nephew and I stood back to back and he has at least 2 inches on me making him 6'4". His mother is over 6ft and the father may be as well if he ever stood up straight.

So I said to my nephew, you should give basketball a try. I think a coach would love to have you on the team.
His mother shouts: "No! We want him to do more intellectional activities." I know that's BS as they let the kid play video games all day. She doesn't want to be hassled with responsibility.

My wife is correct, he is not my kid and I need to stay out of it. It is just frustrating to see a missed opportunity.

Thanks for letting me vent.

You planted a seed in the kids head, maybe at some point he'll gain interest and tryout for the basketball team.

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
It is just frustrating to see a missed opportunity.

Maybe it is and maybe it's not. I'm 6'4" tall and for much of my life I had people ask if I'd played basketball.

No, I did not. I had zero athletic ability and even less interest.

He’s 13. He surely knows what basketball is and has undoubtedly been told he should play because he’s tall. Does he want to play? Does he like basketball? Is he coordinated? Maybe sports and sport culture aren’t his jam. Maybe see if he even has interest.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
It is just frustrating to see a missed opportunity.

Maybe it is and maybe it's not. I'm 6'4" tall and for much of my life I had people ask if I'd played basketball.

No, I did not. I had zero athletic ability and even less interest.

Same here. Does the kid like sports?

I have been built like a linebacker my entire life and I had a homeroom teacher in high school that pestered me for 4 years straight to play football. I have ZERO POINT ZERO % athletic ability and am not a sports person and have never been.

I haven't had an in depth conversation with the lad. He does marching band and he goes to the gym with his father. Next time I see him, I will ask him if he even has interest in playing basketball.

Some years back, I bought him a baseball glove and some balls. He begged his parents to play and they signed him up but covid hit and he never got to play and never went back to it.

Like I said, I will talk more about it with him.

My former stepson was pressured into playing basketball at around the same age back in junior high, after hitting a huge growth spurt and becoming the tallest kid in his class.

He hated basketball. He wasn't good at it. He wasn't coordinated. But he did it anyway, because that's all that his friends, family, teachers, and coaches talked about. So despite hating it, he joined the team and went to every practice and every game.

The coaches recognized that he was unskilled/uncoordinated, but at that level it was enough to just be tall and get in the way, blocking shots, getting rebounds, and passing to the better players.

He did that for 2.5 years, until halfway into his sophomore year in high school, once that very limited skill set wasn't enough for him to earn a spot on the team any more.

He was glad to be cut, since he had basically been doing it just to make everyone else happy. He could then focus on doing stuff that he actually wanted to do. He ended up switching sports to swimming, which he enjoyed a lot more, and later went to a small college on a swimming scholarship.


All that to say: Don't pidgeonhole him into being a basketball player just because he's tall. Without talent, coordination, and desire, being tall alone isn't enough.

I’m 6’3. Everyone asked if i was good at basketball. I was not; I am uncoordinated and little to no interest in competitive/team sports. Some kids dont care about sports. Some do. Also, theres little correlation and certainly no causation between lack of intellectualism and video games. Just as there’s no correlation between athletes and intelligence, although high school and college athletes do have an academic requirement tied to scholarships and participation.

Who knew we had no many athletically challenged forumites here. I have always been very athletic. I’m also short. Back then I would have killed to be 6’4”.

Sports are good for most young men. There are exceptions but there is a lot to be gained from physical activity and competition. I would continue to encourage him to try something.

quote:

Originally posted by pedropcola:

Who knew we had no many athletically challenged forumites here.

I have known for years that this forum was not heavy with sports fans, that's news to you?

Guns and shooting are our sport.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
It is just frustrating to see a missed opportunity.

Maybe it is and maybe it's not. I'm 6'4" tall and for much of my life I had people ask if I'd played basketball.

No, I did not. I had zero athletic ability and even less interest.

This. And every time I had to explain that no, I didn't play, I hated basketball a little bit more.

Maybe take him out for some FroYo or ice cream and sit him down and explain that his height advantage would be very attractive to the basketball team or baseball team. BUT...BUT...ask him what HE wants to do and what he thinks about the situation. Nobody seems to be taking this young man's feelings into account.

If you can, try to have that conversation away from his parents, as they seem to be extremely controlling on this topic. Especially the mother??

Maybe take him to a basketball game, what is your local pro team? Maybe he'd enjoy that just you two away from his mother?

quote:

Originally posted by pedropcola:
Sports are good for most young men.

While this may be true, not playing sports is not bad for most young men.

My advice to xd45man would be to MYOB. I understand his concern, but I agree with his wife.

I'm pretty sure that I'd be ticked off if someone was surreptitiously trying to influence my teenaged son behind my back.

I have mixed feelings. I can see the benefits of being in HS sports. I wanted my son to do something but he didn't have the desire to do it. After 2 years in football he asked if it was ok if he didn't play and I let him quit. He had the physical gifts to be great. just lacked the desire. Now he is 20 and is 6'3 and 240. But no injuries or head trauma's. in his Junior year for Chemical Engineering. So I guess it wasn't the end of the world.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
I have been built like a linebacker my entire life and I had a homeroom teacher in high school that pestered me for 4 years straight to play football. I have ZERO POINT ZERO % athletic ability and am not a sports person and have never been.

As a 135lbs soaking wet freshman, I made the mistake of letting the football coach see me bench press 235lbs free weights and leg press the full stack on the Universal machine, I think 500lbs. He never left me alone the entire 4 years of high school. I had no interest in playing football.

If the nephew wants to play, he will find a way. He’ll walk or ride his bicycle to and from practice. You can encourage, but it’s up to the kid to want it.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a niece and nephew that played volleyball and basketball. Their childhood was filled with camps, performace programs and weekends of travel that cost 10's of thousands of dollars. All to go to college on partial athletic scholarships where they are treated like slaves. Told when and what they could eat and do on a daily basis. I feel like they missed out on a lot of being kids!!

To those offering suggestions on how the OP might subvert his nephew's mother's wishes I have a question: How would you like it if your brother or sister did the same with your son or daughter?

The OP's wife is correct: The young man is not his child. It's none of his business.

Not your kid, not your business. Just like I don’t want others telling me how to raise my child, I won’t tell others. Best to mind your own business on this one.

quote:

Originally posted by Edmond:
Not your kid, not your business. Just like I don’t want others telling me how to raise my child, I won’t tell others. Best to mind your own business on this one.

I'm the other side of the coin. As an uncle I'm involved. I've had nephews sleep over quite often and we get up in the middle of the night and scope the planets. I've driven one across the state for soccer league. I've attended countless HS plays.
My siblings know my opinions and that I'm going to pass them on to their kids when they are ready but that's the price for free rides from and to school and events.
While I don't have kids, I think they need exposure to other family members to keep them well rounded. If the kids have a need, they can call on Uncle.
So my opinions are valid. I obviously don't have the final say.

Now I'm wanting to go watch Uncle Buck.