Ever find yourself in one of those situations where you look around you and realize that that if you had made even one smart decision out of the many stupid ones leading up to your current predicament, you wouldn't be here right now? That was me yesterday.

I woke up around noon and hung out with my wife for a bit before she left with the kids to some social obligation or other. It was a nice breezy fall day, and I had a few hours before I had to be at work, so I went for a run and then tried to get some yard work done. My neighbor has a huge pine tree that dumps tons of needles everywhere this time of year, and they fall on my roof and hold water, so I have to go up and rake them off so the shingles don't rot.

Still in my gym shorts from running, I got the ladder out of the shed an climbed up on the roof with the rake. I had just about finished cleaning it off, when I heard a thump on the other side of the house. I knew what it had to be, but I looked anyway....sure enough, wind blew the ladder down, and it's now lying in the driveway.

So here I am on the roof. The ladder is on the ground, there's nobody else home, and my phone is in the house. I looked around for neighbors, but nobody's out. The Fedex truck drove by...I waved my arms...he kept going. I contemplated jumping off the back of the house into the pine straw, but decided I'd probably break my leg. My truck is parked about 6 feet too far out to drop off the garage roof into the bed. I'm rapidly running out of options here.

I ultimately ended up crossing over to the shed roof, which is thankfully pretty well in-line with the garage, and from there supporting myself off the roof of my trailer, down to the spare tire mounted on the side, onto the trash can, and onto the ground. I'd like to say that I accomplished this with catlike agility...but it probably looked more like a sack of potatoes falling out of a tree and hitting every branch on the way down. Ultimately, though, I was safely on the ground .

Next time I play with ladders, somebody else will be home to hold it, AND I'll make sure I'm carrying my phone!

quote:

Originally posted by 92fstech:

Next time I play with ladders, somebody else will be home to hold it, AND I'll make sure I'm carrying my phone!

Yup. Started taking those precautions around age 60. If I'd been smart, I'd have started around age 12...

Noted, I won't do that. Trust me, I'll goof something up in spectacular fashion; I just won't do it the way you did.

I got trapped on the roof at a customer site during a heavy duty tropical storm years back.

Being the on-call mechanic, of course I had at least one more emergency call in the hopper, looking at likely a couple more before the night was over. No phone, no one on-shift at the site.

Did similar as OP, let myself down to the storm awning over a side door, it broke under my weight but I avoided dropping onto the nearby steel railing by a minor miracle & breaking important bones.

Not so fun times to be sure. Never left the scuttle hole door un-supported ever again.

was at my grandmother's one day, cleaning out gutters etc,

her house had a 1 story room addition on the back, so I put up a ladder, get on the relatively shallow angle tin roof, and clean out gutter,
pull up the ladder, put it against the second story to go up on the rear dormer, and got almost to the gutters,

the ladder's feet did not quite get traction on the tin roof, so it slide down (very shallow angle, maybe 2/12 or so) with me on it,

next thing I know I am still on the ladder, looking like I am climbing it while it is flat on the roof,

granny was on the sidewalk worried to begin with that I would hurt myself, then started freaking when she heard the thump after the ladder fell,


I guess I fell maybe 6 feet,, while riding the ladder,

never got a scratch or a bruise, and quite frankly, it happened so fast it startled me,


I got up, put the ladder back, and went on up, no issues

PARKOUR!

Forgive me for laughing, but this popped into my head.



Glad the OP made it without injury.

1 hour is my record. On a roof.
I mounted a gigantic tv antenna ,

Easy peasy,

But, I mounted it where the ladder was .
So no access to get on to the ladder.

Both the p.d. and the f.d. went by, they waved ,as did the cross town bus driver


Eventually I got on my belly, shinnyed under the giant antenna and coaxed it five feet to the east, then
Proceeded to get down.

That's awesome.

I have a standing rule that is now as ingrained as putting on a seatbelt. If I am home alone and more than one step up a stool or ladder I have my phone in my pocket. Haven't needed it yet but don't plan to be that guy stranded on the floor for hours with a broken hip.

Gravity happens fast once that bitch gets going. I fell off / tipped over a couple ladders in high school and college paining. I wouldn't bounce as well now.

quote:

Originally posted by Patrick-SP2022:
PARKOUR!

Forgive me for laughing, but this popped into my head.



Glad the OP made it without injury.

That exact same scene went through my head as I was contemplating my route down via the shed, lol! Thankfully my outcome was a little better...

(sorry about how long this story is, but I can't think of a way to explain it without all the pertinent details.)

Pffft, that ain't nothin'...I got you all beat by a country mile... nobody does idiot like I do idiot.

@ 20 years ago I lived together with one of my brothers for a couple years in his house. Once he met a nice lady and they had plans to marry, I moved out on my own. She was divorced, had her own house, and as coincidence would have it, her house was only about 8 minutes from his house, so their plan was for him to sell his house, and move in with her in her larger house, just a few minutes away.

One of my old flying buddies was killed in a plane crash and the outfit we were with was holding a memorial service for him over the Independence Day weekend. I decided to fly out on a commercial flight over the holiday weekend, for a quick hit-and-run trip, attend the service, say hi to some old friends, and get back home.

My brother's and his fiancee's homes were both within 15 minutes of the local airport, and I didn't want my truck sitting in the public parking lot while I was away, and a few days earlier my brother had mentioned that his house had sold and had a contract on it. The plan was for me to drive my truck to his house, he would drive me to the airport, and then he would park my truck in the garage. My brother and his fiancee were going to be out of town for the holiday weekend just as I was returning, so the plan was for me to grab a taxi at the airport, and he gave me a garage remote so that I could simply jump out of the taxi, open her garage door, and drive my truck back home. Easy! No fuss right?...WRONG!

So, my flight lands on time and I grab a taxi. I get to her house, jump out with my solo roll-on luggage bag, pay the cab driver, and he drives off. I pull out the garage remote from my bag, press the button...and nothin'. Hit it several times more, still nothin'. I start thinking, ok, maybe its the batts, so I open the remote, the batts are oriented correctly and there is no sign of leakage...so, ok, maybe the batts died on their own, or, despite my carefully packing the remote to avoid any problem, maybe the button was somehow pressed while stowed in my bag and the batts were drained.

Did I mention this was @ 20 years ago...so after my original Star Trek flip phone I never replaced it, and found I could get by without a cell phone at that time, and so I'm wearing fairly nice comfortable travel clothes, I have a small but cumbersome roll-on travel bag, it's hot as hell out, and the nearest shopping center with stores that probably sell batts is probably a good 2 mile walk along a busy avenue...so I'm really not wanting to do that unless it is my only option.

So, I start trying all the standard stuff...first I try to pull the garage door up, nope...and then, to make matters worse, while fidgeting with the garage door latch, I manage to turn it from the unlocked to the locked position, and it now requires a key to unlock it.

I go to the front door, and against all reason I knock several times and then try the door knob...nobody home and the door is firmly locked. No ground floor window access from the front yard, so I walk around to the fenced-in backyard gate, but there is no latch from the front, the latch is only accessible from the back yard. I attempt to reach the latch through the slats...and manage to break a couple fence slats in the process, but I finally break into the back yard. Back door is firmly locked, all ground floor windows firmly shut and locked.

I walk back to the front, stand back a ways and assess the entire house and my options. My brother's fiancee had a cat and she had left the upstairs window, over the attached garage, open just a couple inches. AHA!

Now, how to get up on the garage roof? I see her next door neighbor going in and out of his garage, and although I had seen him once or twice before we had never met. I go over, introduce myself, explain my problem, and ask if he might have a ladder that he could let me borrow. Sure enough, nice guy that he is, he is more than willing to loan me his ladder...alrighty, we got this problem licked now, right? Wrong!

I position the ladder and easily get up on her garage roof, open the office window, pop the screen, and I'm in! Go downstairs, open the kitchen door to the pitch black garage, and while feeling for the light switch I instead hit the garage door button...but, remember, I had earlier accidentally locked the garage door, so when the motor kicked in to lift the door there was suddenly a terrible crunching of wood and metal as the motor fought the cross-bolt lock.

I finally find the light switch, the garage door is only opened an inch or so to let the tiniest amount of light in, the latch is hanging in a crazy unusual attitude...AND, the icing on the cake...the garage is empty and my truck is no where to be seen. It ain't that big a garage so it isn't like they can hide my truck in there. Well...shit!

So, I figure I'll first try to return the ladder to the neighbor, then work on the rest of my problems. I try to unlock the front door, but my brother's fiancee, living alone before meeting him, had the interior bolt lock replaced with a keyed lock. Ok, so I try the back door, but again, it required a key to unlock from the inside. Ok, so I'll try unlocking the windows, except, NO, the windows had a threaded security bolt lock that required a special tool. Ok, so plan C (or was I on plan D by now?) I go up to the office window go out on the garage, only to find that the ladder is now gone, so obviously while I was in the house the neighbor had come back to claim his ladder...so, now my options are to either jump off the roof and risk injury, or go back inside and try to find a way out of her house.

I used her phone and called my Dad who lived out of state, on the chance that they might have called him and either told him their plans or perhaps even left a contact number for them, but nope, Dad had no clue what was going on. So, now I have to start ransacking her house, trying to find either a tool to unlock the windows or a key to unlock one of her 2 doors. Finally, after going through several drawers, I find one with a set of keys, and, FINALLY, something went my way and I found the keys to unlock her doors. At this point, knowing that various friends had Independence Day plans, many were out of town or at various celebrations, so I'm thinking I'm going to have to call another taxi for a ride home.

I call for a cab, decide to go out the back door so at least her front door is still locked, go out the backyard gate, and wait with my bag in the driveway.

Cab pulls up and away we go. I had earlier recognized the garage remote as the same exact brand and color as my brother's house's garage door, and a horrendous thought hits me, so as my brother's house is only a few minutes away I ask the cab driver to first swing by his house. Not even opening the cab door, I point the garage remote, hit the button...and, magically, my brother's garage door opens...and what do I see in the otherwise empty garage...why that truck looks strangely familiar.

I wasn't sure exactly when my brother and his fiancee were planning on getting home that evening, so once I got home I repeatedly called her house and left messages. Once they got home they quickly figured out that her garage door was broken but couldn't figure out why until they checked her answering machine.

Once my brother returned my call I clued him in on the remaining back gate damage. While trying to figure out the miscommunication, I then found out that while my brother's house had sold and had a contract on it, apparently the buyer had some problem with their financing and the deal had fallen through...so, my brother just figured why not store my truck in his otherwise empty house, while I was operating on the assumption that his house had sold and therefore he was storing my truck in his fiancee's garage.

Luckily, his fiancee has a good sense of humor and laughed off the incident...and although I offered to fix the damage, my brother made the repairs himself.

So, yeah, you got nothin' on this idiot.

Well done! Cautionary tale filed away for future reference.

If it were me, I'd probably still be on the roof. My knees are already to the point where going up stairs is a problem, forget jumping off a roof.

quote:

Originally posted by Modern Day Savage:
So, yeah, you got nothin' on this idiot.

Man, that sounds like my kind of luck. The only thing missing is someone calling the cops for a B&E in progress.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
Man, that sounds like my kind of luck. The only thing missing is someone calling the cops for a B&E in progress.

Believe me, the thought of having the cops show up definitely crossed my mind. I'm just glad I grabbed an afternoon flight and not an evening flight or this could've gone even worse.

This is a pretty tame story, not as entertaining as the previous ones told.

In my younger days, ladders and roofs were no big deal. When I was in my twenties and thirties I was a volunteer Firefighter and invincible, nothing scared me. Now in my late sixties, things have changed.

So about a month ago I had occasion to climb upon the roof of our ranch house to clean the front gutter of leaves, twigs and who knows what else that collects in there. My wife is sitting in the house watching TV, I ask her to come outside for a few minutes.

In responding to her question "What is going on?" I reply "I'm going up to clean the gutter and trim that limb that is hanging over the roof. I'd like you to stand outside so if I slip and fall off the roof you can call 911 a bit faster than I will be able to."

She didn't see the humor in my reply but she did stand outside until I was back on the ground.

Yea got stuck on a customers roof once in my 30s, ladder blew down.
I jumped off... about 10 feet high. No problem... BUT, that same day a 4 foot piece of rope got tied to the ladder to stay.
Most houses have gutters and most gutters have exposed nails through them to tie off to, I used that rope trick many many times after that.

That jump would likely kill me now and I would not even try it. I would just be stuck till help arrived, however long that took.

I was just at a guy's house the other day that did the exact same thing. He was in his 70s, so he said he just hung out up there for several hours until some ladies ended up walking by.

MDS, while your story had me laughing pretty good, because it's absolutely something that would happen to me, I'm not sure you can be saddled with all the blame for that goat rope! 1.) Your brother had your truck in a location that you hadn't previously agreed on, where you didn't expect it to be, and 2.) Who has doors and windows that require a key to unlock from the inside?!? Thats a huge fire hazard and definitely not something I'd anticipate going into a house.

While that is indeed an awesome story, I'm going to say you were only 15-20% at fault, at most!

Well dammit! I have to replace my back porch light bulb which will involve a ladder. You people are NOT inspiring any confidence in my ability to get through this without breaking something...

quote:

Originally posted by Windhover:
Well dammit! I have to replace my back porch light bulb which will involve a ladder. You people are NOT inspiring any confidence in my ability to get through this without breaking something...

Tell me about it. I need to get up on the roof to spray some moss treatment I bought yesterday. I read this thread after I came home with the spray, I'm not a fan of heights, I need to get it done while it's dry out, and today is probably my only chance. Suffice it to say, I haven't broken out the ladder yet....

Well, if you make sure your kids or wife are around when you do it, at least there will be someone there to laugh at you when it all goes wrong. My wife and kids laughed really hard when I told them...then said they wanted to see me do it again. I'm kinda afraid at this point that they'll knock the ladder down on purpose next time just to watch me climb down via the shed... :P

quote:

Originally posted by 92fstech:
While that is indeed an awesome story, I'm going to say you were only 15-20% at fault, at most!

so, that makes me only a %15-20 idiot...I feel so much better now...but I'll take that over being %100 idiot.