My younger sister (by 2 years) is struggling with depression. Bad.

I learned tonight (from her) that she drinks and cuts herself on the arms....and did so while I was talking to her on the phone tonight.

Her husband is a douche canoe who leaves alcohol lying around the house and then leaves to do "fun stuff" with the kids and leaves her alone.

Other than my wife, I'm not closer to anyone like I am my sister. Spidey senses tell me that this will not end well ....

Not much I can really do about it from this distance but rant a bit.

Thanks for listening....

quote:

My younger sister (by 2 years) is struggling with depression. Bad.

I learned tonight (from her) that she drinks and cuts herself on the arms...and did so while I was talking to her on the phone tonight.

Very sorry about your situation.
But, based on this, she needs to be involuntarily hospitalized. Stat! She's actively suicidal

Does your sister have or have had an eating disorder?

"Cutting" and eating disorders often happen together and for the same reasons. Substance abuse happens in the mix as well.

Just a quick link with info

quote:

Originally posted by MitchbSC:
Does your sister have or have had an eating disorder?

"Cutting" and eating disorders often happen together and for the same reasons. Substance abuse happens in the mix as well.

Just a quick link with info

Yes Mitch, along with a past of sexual abuse from relatives. She had long put this past her but when she saw some of these fucks at my dad's funeral over the summer it really messed up her head. She's not been this bad in some time.

12131:
Agree about the hospitalization. And she has been in the past...but she's good, man. Like really good and manipulates the docs/nurses to believe we are all over-reacting.

If she's cutting the scars could help prove to a Dr you aren't over reacting

Timely post Ronin... I’m not going to hijack your thread with my family members issues, but we’re having to deal with a relative that’s gone OFF the deep end. Said person is a real smooth talker and knows how to play the game. How do you get somebody mental health treatment if they won’t listen or admit they have issues?

It seems like there was prior treatment?

Can any of these contacts be renewed?

My sister-in-law spiraled deep into anorexia in the late 90s. Her ex was a manipulator and wife-beater that threw her into anxiety and body image issues. It took an intervention by her parents (my in-laws) to put her into in-patient treatment to halt the anorexia and push the separation/divorce over the goal line. I basically lost my wife into this mess for over a year.

I am out of my depth since there's kids involved in this one. This is a suckfest. You have my empathy and prayers.

I hope your sister gets the help she needs. Depression sucks, it sucks bad. I said a prayer, I'll say another. Keep talking to her, you're a good brother man.

I have a friend who's daughters story reads similar to hers. She's tried to commit suicide twice in the last year. Cutting is a very bad sign. Combined with drinking (higher pain tolerance, lower inhibitions, and thinned blood) I can imagine is a magnitude worse.

Do all you can to try to get her to accept help, or have her involuntarily committed, if possible.

I am no expert, but the red flags are concerning.

Prayers for your sister and family.

Are the kids old enough to know what is going on. I know you said the husband is a douche, but, how could anyone be so unconcerned to not help their spouse?

Sounds like its intervention time.

Prayers said and sent.

My wife has been depressed Her entire adult life. Right now She is finishing an 8 week outpatient program. It takes a toll on the family, but professional help does help. Good luck to you, be there for her if she will listen to you.

Really sorry to hear this. I can't imagine the stress you're feeling.

My son has suffered from depression for years - two suicide attempts. We went thru a bazillion counselors, psychiatrists, antidepressants - all to no avail. I finally got disgusted with the failures of treatment and took him to Menninger clinic in Houston. Wonderful folks who found a treatment that worked for him. They even do genetic testing to see which drugs are most likely to help. May not work for everyone or even be an option.

Sounds like you are your sister's lifeline. Keep extending her a lifeline and perhaps get her into one of the big players for depression treatment - like Menningers or some other big name place. You are right in that if she doesn't get the correct help this will not end well. God bless you for being there for her - even if you feel helpless, you are her one source of stability at this point!

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

quote:

My younger sister (by 2 years) is struggling with depression. Bad.

I learned tonight (from her) that she drinks and cuts herself on the arms...and did so while I was talking to her on the phone tonight.

Very sorry about your situation.
But, based on this, she needs to be involuntarily hospitalized. Stat! She's actively suicidal

It could be argued that the ideation is there, and perhaps it could be seen as a threat, but cutting is generally not an attempt or actively suicidal. Rather, it is a method they use to deal with emotional pain. They need to feel...something, so they inflict physical pain.

I agree that this person needs immediate professional help though.

She has signs of Borderline Personality Disorder which is very difficult to treat.

Cutting, eating disorders, suicidal behavior, substance abuse, etc.

Many therapists do not know how to diagnose and treat this, and medication generally does not work because it is a personality disorder caused by childhood trauma (abuse in this case), not a biochemical disorder such as bi-polar or clinical depression.

Sorry about your sister, when our youngest son died we both went into a bout of depression, I worked through it pretty well on my own, my wife didn’t. She went to the doctor and got anti depressants (no noticeable help), she went to support group meetings ( helped some, she got to talk to others in the same shape) but I think what really helped her the most was us having a lot of heart to heart talks and spending as much time as possible together and just being there for each other. Losing a child is something that I don’t believe you ever get over, you just have to learn to deal with it day by day.
Good luck with your sister, being a long distance away makes it tough, but maybe if you talk it out and you tell her that if she ever feels the need that she should call you no matter the day or time. Good luck.

Thanks for all of the feedback guys, I am going to step back from this thread for a few days and try to compose my thoughts.

I'll be back...thanks again for the comments, thoughts, prayers, and emails.

I'm in the same boat. Family member is diagnosed with depression, and a progressive mental disorder which gets worse over time.

Very hard to watch a loved one go through it, and only know it will get worse. And the meds almost make him comatose.