So my wife and daughter are taking one of my daughters best friends on vacation with them in 2 weeks. The friend is same age as my daughter (16) and by all accounts a really good kid...we have known her for a few years and last year she went on the same trip.

This morning my daughter tells us that her parent want (need) a complete itinerary of where they plan on going each day?

I get being concerned/worried about your kid and we already give and gave them contact info, car lic plate pic and vacation home address and map but this is too much. As I said before, this is a good girl we are talking about and we know her pretty well.

I told my wife and daughter to just slap together a loose itinerary that is very general so that they do not flip out if they are tracking her phone and it is up to friend to text mom and dad if plans change as they are not putting this on us.

I feel bad for the girl, this is embarrassing for her and all it teaches her is that she has to be sneaky to have any kind of freedom.

How well do the other parents know you and your wife? If you guys have never met, or only met once then each of the girls might be really close with the other's parents, but the two sets of parents themselves may not know each other well.

If that's the case, I can't fault them in this day and age.

(Assuming you are just talking about major excursions here, not "we will be going to the ice cream parlor at 3:35pm on Tuesday." That would be absurd).

Tell them your attorney has drawn up a release of liability for them to sign before you take their kid anywhere.

quote:

Originally posted by Palm:
How well do the other parents know you and your wife? If you guys have never met, or only met once then each of the girls might be really close with the other's parents, but the two sets of parents themselves may not know each other well.

If that's the case, I can't fault them in this day and age.

This kid is gonna be "girls gone wild" the first time she is off on her own


(Assuming you are just talking about major excursions here, not "we will be going to the ice cream parlor at 3:35pm on Tuesday." That would be absurd).

We have known them as long as we have known her...not well as in we do not hang out and this isn't her first trip with us.

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:
We have known them as long as we have known her...not well as in we do not hang out and this isn't her first trip with us.

Then I'm with you. Weird and unnecessary.

Maybe worth asking, "what do you want to know?" or ask what they are worried about.

Otherwise, I'd put together a calendar of events and send it to them with the caveat "plan subject to change".

There should be no expectation to provide check-in, check-out notifications or approve activities.

Either they trust you or they don't. I wouldn't let it get in the way of your vacation.

quote:

... Either they trust you or they don't. ....

This.

Ask it straight out.

Better to disapoint your daghter and her friend than deal with the crap that can be brought up later if.


Sometimes a red flag is hidden in a bed of roses. (You know, like the thorns.)

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

quote:

... Either they trust you or they don't. ....

This.

Ask it straight out.

Better to disapoint your daghter and her friend than deal with the crap that can be brought up later if.


Sometimes a red flag is hidden in a bed of roses. (You know, like the thorns.)

Agreed. I'd be ok with a general trip plan. If I didn't trust you enough to ask for more, my kid wouldn't be going anyway.

I dont think it is us, it is sheer paranoia over daughter getting into trouble even though she has never gotten in any as long as we have known her.

And if she happens to get into trouble, how much grief can you imagine it will result for you? (paranoid people can imagine more...)

This is one of those "you know more than we do".

That said, your gut told you to question, and that brings me back to the thornbush.

Most likly a "nothing hunt". But I have seen people go tangent and never come back.

And "someone" was Randy Quaid's neighbor once.

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:
I dont think it is us, it is sheer paranoia over daughter getting into trouble even though she has never gotten in any as long as we have known her.

Or perhaps there has already been some trouble that you guys are not aware of.

quote:

Originally posted by cheesegrits:

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:
I dont think it is us, it is sheer paranoia over daughter getting into trouble even though she has never gotten in any as long as we have known her.

Or perhaps there has already been some trouble that you guys are not aware of.

I asked my daughter this and she said no, other than the girl buying a shirt w/o her moms permission at the mall. This is a pretty tight knot group of friends and our daughter tells us more than most kids so i think we would know.

When my kids have traveled with another family my only requests have been to meet them, know where they are going/have contact info and make sure they have a copy of ins card just in case and as far as my daughter, I trust her 200% and give her a lot of space which she has not once abused.

quote:

Originally posted by cheesegrits:

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:
I dont think it is us, it is sheer paranoia over daughter getting into trouble even though she has never gotten in any as long as we have known her.

Or perhaps there has already been some trouble that you guys are not aware of.

This was my thought as well. It might be something your daughter isn't privy to, but if she did this trip with you last year, and new rules suddenly apply, that would be my assumption. As previously mentioned, a general outline should work, and remind her that she's responsible to notify them of any change (I'd share that tidbit with her parents, too).

Hope you have a great time!