Yea, sure they are.

My kids are SPOILED because we had them after we got married and had already established our professional lives.

My kids are SPOILED because I went to college and got a degree and a great job.

My kids are SPOILED because we don't live off of government hand-outs and welfare.

My kids are SPOILED because I'm not spending $650 a month on child support -- to the father.

My kids are SPOILED because I don't have an addiction.


My kids are actually just getting a traditional upper-middle class upbringing. And we're just getting started (age 2 and 6 months)! Get used to it.

This is pretty standard, what we're doing. I guess all of my friends are family are spoiling their kids, too.

My MIL (and SIL -- referenced above) think so, anyway.

Penalized for "being successful".

My kids are spoiled alright, spoiled with love.



Now excuse me while my daughter and I go for another ride in her new toy Jeep.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Copefree,

Sounds like sour grapes to me.

Kids are spoiled because their parents are lazy, not because their parents are financially or professionally successful.

I think the test for spoiled kids is when they are foisted on society.

Not saying yours are; just saying.

We are on vacation. I couldn't believe the number of people that were in total disbelief we brought our two kids. What the hell is wrong with people.

quote:

Originally posted by will347wax:
We are on vacation. I couldn't believe the number of people that were in total disbelief we brought our two kids. What the hell is wrong with people.

i guess it depends on where you are vacationing.

Oh Copefree, don't you know?

You are so LUCKY to have an education.

You are so LUCKY to have a good job.

You are so LUCKY to have money saved up.

You are so LUCKY....

(I'm right there with you, being so LUCKY with SPOILED kids... )

quote:

Originally posted by ScorpionBoy:

quote:

Originally posted by will347wax:
We are on vacation. I couldn't believe the number of people that were in total disbelief we brought our two kids. What the hell is wrong with people.

i guess it depends on where you are vacationing.

And what the intent of your vacation is.

Sometimes, it's a family thing.

Sometimes, it's just a Husband / Wife thing.

It depends, of course.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Oh Copefree, don't you know?

You are so LUCKY to have an education.

You are so LUCKY to have a good job.

You are so LUCKY to have money saved up.

You are so LUCKY....

(I'm right there with you, being so LUCKY with SPOILED kids... )

Yup, and the harder one works, the luckier one gets.

quote:

Originally posted by vinnybass:
Yup, and the harder one works, the luckier one gets.

It's funny how much luck you get when you make a plan for your life and then execute it, not letting alcohol, drug, petty young relationships, and stupid choices get in the way (ie early marriage, babies out of wedlock, etc).

One makes at least 90% of their own luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Copefree:
we don't live off of government hand-outs and welfare.

I've known people in passing who do and there's no embarrassment or shame they can't take care of themselves. They have more a sense of righteous entitlement like they're getting their share.

quote:

Originally posted by ScorpionBoy:

quote:

Originally posted by will347wax:
We are on vacation. I couldn't believe the number of people that were in total disbelief we brought our two kids. What the hell is wrong with people.

i guess it depends on where you are vacationing.

I've never been anywhere that my son isn't welcome. And I've been a few places. If it's not kid friendly, we don't go. Our vacations since he's been born have been family vacations, and all the places we used to go when it was just us- were happy to accept my son along with us. He's a reasonably well behaved kid. We will see what the future brings..but I suspect he is considered spoiled as well. Tough shit.

How dare you brag about your kids and how you can actually provide and care for them. The only right thing to do is to give all your money to poor people so they can have the same lifestyle you have. They deserve upper-middle class as well.

Shame.

spoil

verb
past tense: spoiled; past participle: spoiled
1.
diminish or destroy the value or quality of.
"I wouldn't want to spoil your fun"
synonyms: mar, damage, impair, blemish, disfigure, blight, flaw, deface, scar, injure, harm; More
2.
harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent.
"the last thing I want to do is spoil Thomas"
synonyms: overindulge, pamper, indulge, mollycoddle, cosset, coddle, baby, wait on hand and foot, kill with kindness; nanny


I pulled the above definition from Google.

I'm going to mash them up and say this:

Spoil -
Diminish or destroy the value or quality of the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent.

The key here is that spoiling is not a simple action of being lenient or indulgent. The act has to damage the quality of the character of the child. You can spoil a kid by giving them a free sucker from the bank if they are behaving in a way that should not be rewarded.

As far as I'm concerned, if you've gotten your child to adulthood and they are respectful to others, understand the value of a dollar, are self-sufficient, and know right from wrong, then you've done a great job and haven't spoiled them in any way. Being raised with means is nothing more than circumstance.

You need to acknowledge all that white privilege you just listed out...

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

quote:

Originally posted by vinnybass:
Yup, and the harder one works, the luckier one gets.

It's funny how much luck you get when you make a plan for your life and then execute it, not letting alcohol, drug, petty young relationships, and stupid choices get in the way (ie early marriage, babies out of wedlock, etc).

One makes at least 90% of their own luck.

Or read to your kids. That's unfair privilege right there.

Or teach them to be decent human beings who treat others with courtesy and respect.

Like recently at a local minor league baseball game. Small park, visiting 'bullpen' is in foul territory behind third base. Family seating area is right next to visiting bullpen. At one point a foul grounder went to the bullpen and a visiting player fielded it. My son went over and, with proper manners, asked for it. Got it, and properly expressed gratitude.

We overheard one player telling another "somebody raised him right". Son got a souvenir which made him happy. But it's just politeness privilege.

I used to get that all the time growing up that I was "spoiled". Just because their parents were cheap bastards it is not my fault. Of course it was fine to pretend to be friends with us and come over and use our pool or go out on our boat to avoid buying their own. I plan to be very generous with my daughters as well. If having more stuff makes you a bad person, then poor people should be the best behaved of all, right? Besides, it is my money, that I made with my hard work. I will do what I want with it.

My Kids are Spoiled

Nah, all kids smell like that.

as long as the kids are made aware of the situation, no worries

quote:

Originally posted by braillediver:

quote:

Originally posted by Copefree:
we don't live off of government hand-outs and welfare.

I've known people in passing who do and there's no embarrassment or shame they can't take care of themselves. They have more a sense of righteous entitlement like they're getting their share.

I was behind a couple in line at the grocery store a few weeks ago. Both had brand new leather jackets and designer jeans, she pulled a coach wallet out of a coach purse, handed her access card over to pay for their steaks and soda. I hurried outside to confirm my suspicion. They were driving away in a brand new maxima. No Shame at all.

quote:

Originally posted by Copefree:
Yea, sure they are.

My kids are SPOILED because we had them after we got married and had already established our professional lives.

My kids are SPOILED because I went to college and got a degree and a great job.

My kids are SPOILED because we don't live off of government hand-outs and welfare.

My kids are SPOILED because I'm not spending $650 a month on child support -- to the father.

My kids are SPOILED because I don't have an addiction.


My kids are actually just getting a traditional upper-middle class upbringing. And we're just getting started (age 2 and 6 months)! Get used to it.

This is pretty standard, what we're doing. I guess all of my friends are family are spoiling their kids, too.

My MIL (and SIL -- referenced above) think so, anyway.

Penalized for "being successful".

My kids are spoiled alright, spoiled with love.



Now excuse me while my daughter and I go for another ride in her new toy Jeep.

As long as you don't brag about your great education and good job too often you are forgiven. Think about this: You are doing no favors for your kids by spoiling them. Once they are on their own no one else is going to spoil them and they will pay the price for it.