I have five sisters, one lives in North Jersey a couple hours away, and two are local and we all keep in touch pretty regularly. The other two live in North Carolina and we don’t hear or see them much, maybe 1-2 times a year at holidays etc. I’m not as close with them as the other 3 just because of the distance and the fact that they seem to like living far away from the rest of us in PA/NJ.

We recently had our second child, a boy. The morning he was born I sent out a group text to all my siblings (7 of us) and my parents announcing the birth with a couple pics, etc. Within minutes all of them EXCEPT my two NC-based sisters had responded and said congrats, etc. Even the husband of the one sister I had included on the text had responded. I went back to this text thread 3 weeks later and realized neither of them had ever responded even with a one word reply. Nothing.

I went back and checked FB posts that I KNOW they see and neither of them had replied or “liked” any of them either.

What the hell?

One of them is going through a nasty custody battle with an ex and the other has been trying to have a second child for years without success and I think any news of new children bothers her. However, why would you not be happy for your brother and his wife and say “congrats” or “aww” or something? Instead I got zip, zilch, nada from them. You may have issues and be busy but you can’t take 1.5 seconds to respond to a message about a birth?

I’m pretty upset by this and I’ve told my wife and she agrees it’s very strange.

I will not be including them on any future texts or emails, that’s for damn sure. Screw them.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: PASig,

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
I will not be including them on any future texts or emails, that’s for damn sure. Screw them.

They're responsible for their behavior.

You're responsible for yours.

-Rob

OMG, nobody LIKED my new SELFIE?!?? TTYL bitches!!!

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
OMG, nobody LIKED my new SELFIE?!?? TTYL bitches!!!

It was a picture of our newborn son and how much he weighed, etc.

They have done the same for all of us for births, graduations, etc.

That is pretty messed up, I would be bummed also.

I would be hurt by their non-response and do what you're doing which is just distance myself and family from them.

Maybe cut them some slack and just move on. Both seem to be in the midst of great unhappiness and some people just find it really difficult to celebrate with others (even family) when they're unhappy. Yes, I totally agree that they should have sucked it up and responded.

It seems kind of petty to cut them out of family news for failing to respond how you wanted them to.

quote:

Originally posted by cheesegrits:
Maybe cut them some slack and just move on. Both seem to be in the midst of great unhappiness and some people just find it really difficult to celebrate with others (even family) when they're unhappy.

This makes so much sense, why not call them and see how they are doing. Forget Facebook, email or texting, see how they are doing. Life is too short for a grudge like this. If they do not want to talk to you that's another story.

I still would not cut them off.

quote:

Originally posted by BurtonRW:

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
I will not be including them on any future texts or emails, that’s for damn sure. Screw them.

They're responsible for their behavior.

You're responsible for yours.

-Rob

This is kind of what I was thinking. It's kinda of lose/lose to stop including them. For whatever reason, they did not respond (forgot, being petty, crazy life, etc...). If it was being petty, then cutting them out of future comms is playing at their level. If it was something more innocent, then you're the bad guy...or at least could be painted that way. I'd keep including them in the updates. It costs you nothing, and you maintain the high ground. Reaching out is an even better idea.

Sounds like a snowflake mentality if I've ever heard one! Like Cheese and Marlin said, you don't know your siblings' current issues. If you're going to get butt hurt about some online response or not, pick up the damn phone and talk to them. Life's too short to whine about trivia.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
OMG, nobody LIKED my new SELFIE?!?? TTYL bitches!!!

It was a picture of our newborn son and how much he weighed, etc.

They have done the same for all of us for births, graduations, etc.

I know it wasn't a selfie, my comment was sarcastic.

Can someone point me to the proper Book of Faces etiquette manual? When should you like, when should you respond with a personal message?

I mean if people are getting so butthurt about it, obviously there are people who aren't following the manual.

I'm on FB but I can't (1) believe the shit people put on there (2) can't believe the shit people get pissed off about on there and (3) the time people spend pissed off about shit on there.

You could post a picture of a set of quintuplets, winning the lottery, and curing cancer on the same day and I could easly not "LIKE" the post.

Life happens outside of FB. Maybe the sisters have shit going on and haven't logged in in awhile.

Maybe YOU FORGOT to LIKE one of their POSTS or PICTURES and they are giving YOU the silent treatment???

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

Life happens outside of FB. Maybe the sisters have shit going on and haven't logged in in awhile.

You need to go back and read my OP. I sent a GROUP TEXT (iMessage actually since we all have iPhones) and I know they saw the message, they just chose to ignore it. The FB stuff was secondary, that was just an observation that they ignored those posts too.

My beef is that out of my parents, my brother, husbands of my 5 sisters I included as well, and the 5 sisters, only those two sisters never responded even days or weeks later to this text message. Doesn't that strike you as really odd? I know for a fact they both are voracious texters and pretty much only communicate this way any more.

Here's what I've decided. You can't make someone care.

They either do or they don't. It's important enough to them or it's not.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:


I went back and checked FB posts that I KNOW they see and neither of them had replied or “liked” any of them either.

What the hell?

One of them is going through a nasty custody battle with an ex and the other has been trying to have a second child for years without success and I think any news of new children bothers her. However, why would you not be happy for your brother and his wife and say “congrats” or “aww” or something? Instead I got zip, zilch, nada from them. You may have issues and be busy but you can’t take 1.5 seconds to respond to a message about a birth?

I’m pretty upset by this and I’ve told my wife and she agrees it’s very strange.

You already know the possible reasons why they're non-responsive. I think you ought to cut them some slack. It looks likes in the joy reconciliation, your account is overflowing with joy and their accounts are very much in the hole.

I think you have enough joy to share so that you can overlook this slight from them.

quote:

.......husbands of my 5 sisters I included as well, and the 5 sisters

Chances are your hunch is correct. However, if my wife and I are included on the same group text and she replies first, I'm less inclined to respond because she's responded for both of us.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:

You need to go back and read my OP. I sent a GROUP TEXT (iMessage actually since we all have iPhones) and I know they saw the message, they just chose to ignore it. The FB stuff was secondary, that was just an observation that they ignored those posts too.

My beef is that out of my parents, my brother, husbands of my 5 sisters I included as well, and the 5 sisters, only those two sisters never responded even days or weeks later to this text message. Doesn't that strike you as really odd? I know for a fact they both are voracious texters and pretty much only communicate this way any more.

Oh, I read that too. I am on a couple of group texts. Some of them have been muted because the people on them text too much. I see a big red number occasionally, hit the chain to clear it without reading, then move on.

You mentioned one of the husbands of the sisters responded... why should she have to respond as well? If I was in the kitchen and the wife and I got a group "Hey, we finally had that baby" text, whoever had a phone would respond and then we'd consider the issue 'closed'. But maybe it's different in your family and she's obligated to give you an "awwwww....".

Honestly, if someone doesn't respond to a text in the first day, it ain't gonna be responded to.

I am of the opinion that just because someone emails, calls, texts, or write someone else, the receiver is under no obligation to have to respond. I've been on both ends of it and it doesn't bother me in the least bit. Sure there is some courtesy to the whole situation, but that is just that.

You could be right, maybe they aren't interested in your family or the new baby. Maybe it's their loss, maybe not. Maybe the 1 one with the husband responding cares but considers his response sufficient and maybe the other is going through something personal and doesn't want / need / care to respond.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
It looks likes in the joy reconciliation, your account is overflowing with joy and their accounts are very much in the hole.

I think you have enough joy to share so that you can overlook this slight from them.

Good point. I will choose to not let this bother me any longer and just move on.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Maybe the 1 one with the husband responding cares but considers his response sufficient

I didn't think of that, you may be right.

I know I seem like an asshole, but over the years I've come to accept that life not always rosy or easy for all of us, all of the time.

People forget, people are busy, and yes sometime people blow you and yours off.

I don't hold it against people until it's blatant or vindictive type shit, then you are dead to me.

Maybe it's because being military, most of my friends are scattered to the wind. We text, email, FB - sometimes people respond, sometimes they don't. But when we meet up after months / years, we don't hold it against each other.

Good luck and congrats on the baby... here is an "awwww" for ya.

PA,
i don't know you,but i will throw in a aww and congrats also also.I know you are thrilled,and i am happy for your family.

My youngest daughter,who is 21, had a little baby girl 10 month's ago.

Her name is Elsa,and this little gift from heaven has changed my life.

I was not around my children much when they were young.

2 jobs,a lot of travel,and in a few years they are on the road to growing up.

My point is i enjoy every minute i can with Elsa,as time does go fast.Like a previous post so aptly wrote,you cant make your sisters write or call if they dont want to.

Same thing happened in my family,and i finally have come to the conclusion,for the rest of my life,i am going to enjoy my family,friends,and people who are not high maintenance .

Life is to short,some people can hurt you,because of there issues,and nothing will change them.Enjoy your baby,family,and life with them.

Congratulations on the new baby, that's wonderful.