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Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
posted
I started at my current job about a year and a half ago. We have a lot (majority of the employees) that have been here 10+ years. They have worked together for all that time. It’s a small company and it’s really like family. People here are really close, do weekend things together, etc.

One of the managers that works directly for me, has been on vacation. She has plans to retire in February and travel to Alaska and spend time with her wife. Her wife does finish carpentry and has work lined up all over Alaska and Utah. So they planned to spend their time traveling and enjoying their older years.

The wife of the lady that works for me called me last night to let me know that while on vacation they found out that the lady that works for me has stage 4 lung cancer and it has spread. She is struggling to walk and talk, and is incoherent.

I get to deliver the news to the whole team this morning.



quote:
Originally posted by parabellum: You must have your pants custom tailored to fit your massive balls.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4025 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I'm sorry to see this task fall to you with respect to the pain it will cause your fellows.
It seems that your task is to relay the news in
a caring and thoughtful manner. With respect to all involved.
I don't think any more could be asked of you.
 
Posts: 358 | Registered: March 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Living my life my way
Picture of molachi
posted Hide Post
That truly is bad news that you have to pass on.
 
Posts: 1756 | Location: The Backyard of Nowhere | Registered: August 09, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ducatista
Picture of rainman64
posted Hide Post
Truly sad.

I have seen the results of stage 4 cancer in the last 1.5 years.
Including my best friend of 41 years.

I am sorry you have to bear the bad news, but be strong.

And FUCK cancer.


___________________
"He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod"
Compressions 9.5:1
 
Posts: 5028 | Location: Dallas, TX | Registered: April 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
posted Hide Post
That's truly sad Frown I lost one of my three best friends to lung cancer four years ago.



"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
 
Posts: 26009 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Striker in waiting
Picture of BurtonRW
posted Hide Post
That's awful news. Several years ago, my office lost a co-worker to a closed head injury (didn't die, but was really messed up) while she was on vacation and the only word I can think of that adequately describes the feeling is shock. Sounds like you all are much closer.

I'm so sorry.

-Rob




I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888

A=A
 
Posts: 16270 | Location: Maryland, AA Co. | Registered: March 16, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of SR
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So sorry. I'm sure this will be difficult.

You've probably already thought of this but make sure there is Kleenex handy. If necessary, show up early and put out a few boxes.

Let me know if you'd like ideas on how to phrase/present the news.




Speak softly and carry a big stick loaded Sig
 
Posts: 4887 | Location: Raleigh, North Carolina | Registered: September 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
always with a hat or sunscreen
Picture of bald1
posted Hide Post
Noah,

No way to spin this at all. It will suck big time.

Try to make it short and factual and some will think you lack compassion. Embellish with anecdotes about the employee's time with the company and others might think you are delivering a premature eulogy.



Certifiable member of the gun toting, septuagenarian, bucket list workin', crazed retiree, bald is beautiful club!
USN (RET), COTEP #192
 
Posts: 16204 | Location: Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: June 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
We Are...MARSHALL
Picture of armedmd
posted Hide Post
I’m sorry you have to experience this scenario. Sometimes I have to inform families that their loved one has passed following trauma. Even after several years and several experiences it doesn’t get easier. Be sure there are plenty of tissues available.


Build a man a fire and keep him warm for a night, set a man on fire and keep him warm the rest of his life.
 
Posts: 1894 | Location: WV | Registered: December 15, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Beancooker:


I get to deliver the news to the whole team this morning.


I have to ask: why do you have to tell the whole team about a medical condition that is affecting her? Did she ask you to tell the whole team?

If she didn't ask you to share the news to the rest of the company, I would suggest you hold off and confirm with her that she wants the news to spread to the rest of the company. It just raised alarms in my head so I googled it.

Link

quote:
There are a number of federal laws that protect against the disclosure of employee medical information in the workplace. While the language of each law is slightly different, the consensus is universal—employers are held to strict confidentiality rules when it comes to acquiring and disclosing an employee’s medical information.

Unless a manager, supervisor, or human resources employee has a legitimate need to know, it’s safe to say that an employer that discloses private medical information to other employees is breaking the law. Depending on the situation, the employee in question could file a federal complaint and seek compensation for damages through a civil lawsuit.


Having said that, the news sure sucks. Early in my career, I've come across people who talked about retiring but they kept putting it off. Then they get sick and die, never even getting to enjoy retirement.

I'm truly sorry about her getting cancer.



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 19656 | Location: The Free State of Arizona - Ditat Deus | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
posted Hide Post
Thank you all for the empathy.

Yes, she and her wife asked me to tell the whole team. Otherwise I won’t have said a word.

I was straight to the point and laid out the facts. I have had to deliver this same type of news three times now, since I started here. People know I’m straight to the point.



quote:
Originally posted by parabellum: You must have your pants custom tailored to fit your massive balls.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4025 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I have buried 2 of my employees over the past 3 years. Both under 35. Very tough. Good to hear you were able to deliver the news without any drama.
 
Posts: 4979 | Registered: April 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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