Every time I hear that refrigerator open upstairs, or that freezer drawer pull open, it sends a wave of a frustration and mild anger through me, because in a couple of hours I’m cooking an amazing dinner that they won’t touch because they’re not gonna be hungry.

Every. Fucking. Night.

Screw em. Order Pizza, watch football!

Two solutions I propose:

1. Call Sig Forum to come over

2. Don't cook again

I use this:

“No.”

I remember those days but they do change.

I am sitting on the couch at my son’s house in Alaska watching a football game while browsing SIG Forum. He has a tri-tip in the smoker and he with is making a German potato salad.

My only regret is that our other two children and spouses are not here with us.

There’s a simple solution to this; don’t cook for them anymore.

Why do you feel obligated to do this when they obviously don’t care?

I do it for the community - the opportunity to sit down as a group with no distractions and discuss our day.
Also, to me food making food for someone is an expression of caring, not only that they get adequate and appropriate nutrients, but sharing with them.
I’ve tapered way back, though, between sports and limited appreciation for my efforts.
I feel for you Ronin. Keep trying?
And maybe don’t stock the frig quite so well?

Road trip

https://www.amazon.com/Compute...k/dp/B00722OIJI?th=1

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
There’s a simple solution to this; don’t cook for them anymore.

Why do you feel obligated to do this when they obviously don’t care?

Because they are great kids, are very appreciative that I cook for them, always thank me, and are overall pretty great to be around for 21-year-olds.

They are dinner with us, and chowed down a lot more than I would’ve expected.

I feel very fortunate to have them home, and also for the relationship I have with them.

I know it won’t last forever.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
There’s a simple solution to this; don’t cook for them anymore.

Why do you feel obligated to do this when they obviously don’t care?

Because they are great kids, are very appreciative that I cook for them, always thank me, and are overall pretty great to be around for 21-year-olds.

They are dinner with us, and chowed down a lot more than I would’ve expected.

I feel very fortunate to have them home, and also for the relationship I have with them.

I know it won’t last forever.

I would focus on this. Be thankful your kids are home, and feel so comfortable they can just go in the fridge and get food. Be thankful you have "extra" food in the fridge for them to grab. Be thankful you have a family to cook for, even if they snack ahead of time.
My MIL passed on dec 26th 2001, My hardest memory is sending my crying wife on an airplane on dec 25th to be with her at the end. I don't mention that to be a debby downer, but just a reminder to be thankful that family is around, and are comfortable in your presence, a lot of people would give anything to be where you are.
You already addressed it yourself, but I would not even sweat a little pre-meal snacking from the kids.

Here's another idea. They are adults. Have you actually talked to them about this and expressed your concern? It obviously bothers you. Their response (or lack thereof) would determine the next course of action.

I have the same issue with my kids, but they are 8 and 10, so rational discussion isn't quite at the level that it should be with yours.

They probably mis and appreciate being able to raid a well stocked refrigerator when at home.

I would almost bet their home fridges are bare or not as plentiful in choices of great stuff to eat anytime they want.

Focus on the fact that they are home and happy. They grow up and get married and often times have little time for coming home.

I can see one of my daughters back yard from my back yard but only ever see her at Christmas, New Years and birthdays.

So my advice is get over whats bothering you and enjoy your time with them.

It bugged me the first couple days too, but he's sat down with us and eaten everything we've prepared, helped whenever we've asked, and even when not asked. Plus, I've eaten the food at the dining halls and I think he appreciates the food here that much more now.

At 21 they're probably starving before dinner, during dinner, and after dinner regardless of snacking.

That said though, my family doesn't even cook dinner when we get together anymore. Everybody just makes appetizers, and we just snack and hang out. It's ended up being preferable to when we used to do formal meals.

I used to prepare two or three batches of meals to re-heat. A tub of chili, a tub of spaghetti and meat sauce, perhaps a tub of Italian sausage an peppers. I'd put them in the fridge, tell them what was there, and let them have at it. After my oldest graduated she worked such long hours, I'd drive from Lexington, KY to Wheeling, WV a couple of times a month to make up batches of food to freeze.

Similar around here on holidays, we'd have so many "appetizers" that by the time we sat, nobody was hungry and hours of food prep, money, time was wasted.

Big Culprit is the wifes sister who loves to cook a lot of things and bring them over, we finally had to have a talk with her to stop it, or we just were not going to have dinners here and she could host them at her house....

We're in the "eat the whole meal even tho we cooked for twice as many and then waking up at 2am to hear them making pre-breakfast" period of our life.

And just like that, our son is back to college.

There’s a reason he’s on the unlimited meal plan at school and that the dining halls serve a lot of pork and chicken for protein.