October 22, 2017, 10:42 PM
sigmonkeyOops.
Once I was out back clearing trees and pulling stumps.
The ex-missusmonkey came out and mentions I should spray paint the exposed tree roots with dayglo paint so I don't trip over them.
Now, (of which she was full aware) I'll mention that I used to work on tactical commie killing fucking awesome weapons delivery platforms, and often had to tap dance around a shit-ton of hydraulic lines, electrical power cables, large volume air hoses in all sorts of weather and the noise and confusion of combat turns, with oil, JP-4 and hydraulic fluid on the ground, bent at the waist and all our shit was (re-painted) OD green, and I survived, so I sez: "I don't need you out here micromanaging me, I got this."
She turned, walked away, took my daughter and left the house and they did not return for over 12 hours, and did not speak to me the rest of the weekend.
I tried to bottle and sell it on the Internet, but I think potential customers figured out the formula.
"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! October 23, 2017, 08:43 AM
joel9507quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
I've often thought that if somebody wanted to give me the Perfect Gift, it would be a solid week of never hearing another human being speak. I don't want to go deaf or anything, I just want people to stop babbling.
They make some nice in-ear noise cancelling earphones these days.
October 23, 2017, 09:59 AM
PHPaulquote:
Originally posted by joel9507:
They make some nice in-ear noise cancelling earphones these days.
Really? Hmmmmmmmm...
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
October 23, 2017, 10:53 AM
95flhrquote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by joel9507:
They make some nice in-ear noise cancelling earphones these days.
Really? Hmmmmmmmm...
Being a guy that has spent more time than I care to admit in trouble for not putting up with the BS from the spouses friends and or relatives, the noise cancelling technology has saved me a ton of grief. I put them on, listen to music from the phone and I no longer have to listen to the garbage. Thus, no longer in trouble for getting pissed and telling someone to STFU.
“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.”
― Ronald Reagan
Retired old fart
October 23, 2017, 11:31 AM
Some Shot"How about we all just shut the fuck up?"
Rather than being quite so directive, I try and give them something to think about; "Can you shut up?".
Sometimes it works because they can't talk while they are thinking. Usually it just pisses them off anyway. They think the silent treatment is punishment. So cute (and quiet).
October 23, 2017, 11:42 AM
PeteFquote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
Once I was out back clearing trees and pulling stumps.
The ex-missusmonkey came out and mentions I should spray paint the exposed tree roots with dayglo paint so I don't trip over them.
Now, (of which she was full aware) I'll mention that I used to work on tactical commie killing fucking awesome weapons delivery platforms, and often had to tap dance around a shit-ton of hydraulic lines, electrical power cables, large volume air hoses in all sorts of weather and the noise and confusion of combat turns, with oil, JP-4 and hydraulic fluid on the ground, bent at the waist and all our shit was (re-painted) OD green, and I survived, so I sez: "I don't need you out here micromanaging me, I got this."
She turned, walked away, took my daughter and left the house and they did not return for over 12 hours, and did not speak to me the rest of the weekend.
I tried to bottle and sell it on the Internet, but I think potential customers figured out the formula.
☺
You tripped on a root, didn't you?
October 23, 2017, 02:54 PM
229DAKquote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Wife and I go for a 2 mile walk every day unless it's a monsoon or a blizzard.
Sundays, wife's sister usually goes with us.
Wife's sister is a liberal, a Hillary supporter, a Trump hater and just to put a little icing on the cake, incapable of being wrong. Ever. About anything. AND, she loves to argue. If she's winning, she'll change sides just to keep it going.
Drives me absolutely batshit. Most days, I get a firm grip on my tongue with my incisors and recite the times tables or something.
Today it was incessant. Started when she showed up for the ride to the walking destination du jour, continued throughout the ride over, the walk and the ride back. Just before we got back to the house, they decided they needed to discuss the Bible and whether or not it condoned slavery and/or condemned homosexuality.
I lost it. Before I could stop myself, I uttered The Phrase of Death: "How about we all just shut the fuck up?"
Didn't work in the truck, but it seems to be working especially well since I got home. I got The Speech about what a self-centered, intolerant male chauvinist prick I am, and now I'm getting The Silent Treatment.
Works for me...
You need to find a way to get Fate with you out on your walks more often.
_________________________________________________________________________
“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
October 23, 2017, 03:00 PM
Loaded RoundNext time....Drive them to the trailhead and help them out. Then drive away
By the time they walk home, they'll be all talked out.
October 23, 2017, 03:24 PM
PHPaulquote:
Originally posted by 229DAK:
You need to find a way to get Fate with you out on your walks more often.
Funny you should mention that. We're dog-sitting Fate this week as Grandson, his family and their dog are visiting my daughter and she didn't feel it was a good idea to introduce a strange dog into the mix especially considering Fate has just been spayed and needs to stay relatively calm for a week or so.
Fate will be accompanying us on our morning walks for the week.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
October 23, 2017, 03:26 PM
PHPaulquote:
Originally posted by Loaded Round:
Next time....Drive them to the trailhead and help them out. Then drive away
By the time they walk home, they'll be all talked out.
Oh yeah, that'd work REAL good. The next human voice I heard would be her lawyer...
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
October 23, 2017, 05:00 PM
brecaidraIn those types of situations I have been know to interrupt with something completely unrelated and equally meaningless such as,"I like kittens," or "I think egg prices are going up next year."
SIGforum's triple minority
"It can't rain all the time." - Eric Draven October 23, 2017, 05:20 PM
jhe888quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
and now I'm getting The Silent Treatment.
Works for me...
Triumph!
I got stuck in the car from Houston to Lafayette, Louisiana for a kid sporting event with the mom of some other kid. She ran her mouth incessantly about nothing the whole way over, and after about an hour of it on the way back, I tuned my Sirius radio into the adult comedy channel. That shit can be very raw, and it was. When she realized what was playing, she humpfed and oo-ed a couple of times, but then sat in a sort of a stunned silence the rest of the way back. My wife thought it was a bit much, but she was as sick of the chatter as I was and didn't complain much.
I was even less tolerant than usual because she had contributed only $10 for gas money for a five and half hour round trip in a Ford Expedition.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. October 23, 2017, 05:39 PM
PHPaulquote:
Originally posted by brecaidra:
In those types of situations I have been know to interrupt with something completely unrelated and equally meaningless such as,"I like kittens," or "I think egg prices are going up next year."
I'd go with "turtles" but I don't think it would work.
Sis-in-law is nearly as deaf as I am, plus when she gets her claws into a subject, it takes more than a mild non sequitur to break her concentration.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
October 23, 2017, 06:14 PM
sjtillIs your wife Irish by any chance?
My mother-in-law was, and she loved to argue.
Won a national debating contest when in college.
_________________________
“Remember, remember the fifth of November!"
October 23, 2017, 06:44 PM
PHPaulquote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
Is your wife Irish by any chance?
My mother-in-law was, and she loved to argue.
Won a national debating contest when in college.
Nope. English on her Father's side, French-Canadian on her Mother's side.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
October 23, 2017, 07:44 PM
brecaidraquote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by brecaidra:
In those types of situations I have been know to interrupt with something completely unrelated and equally meaningless such as,"I like kittens," or "I think egg prices are going up next year."
I'd go with "turtles" but I don't think it would work.
Sis-in-law is nearly as deaf as I am, plus when she gets her claws into a subject, it takes more than a mild non sequitur to break her concentration.
If it gets to that point I usually start saying, "What?" in response to everything.
SIGforum's triple minority
"It can't rain all the time." - Eric Draven October 23, 2017, 08:34 PM
Bisleyblackhawkquote:
Originally posted by Some Shot:
"How about we all just shut the fuck up?"
Rather than being quite so directive, I try and give them something to think about; "Can you shut up?".
Sometimes it works because they can't talk while they are thinking. Usually it just pisses them off anyway. They think the silent treatment is punishment. So cute (and quiet).
I kinda like the way he handled it...we old LCMS folks are nothing if not direct (we get it honestly...just look at old Martin with that hammer)
...
Great well written rant by the way
********************************************************
"we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches
Making the best of what ever comes our way
Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition
Plowing straight ahead come what may
And theres a cowboy in the jungle"
Jimmy Buffet
October 24, 2017, 04:06 PM
Elk Hunterquote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
I've often thought that if somebody wanted to give me the Perfect Gift, it would be a solid week of never hearing another human being speak. I don't want to go deaf or anything, I just want people to stop babbling.
I'm hearing impaired. When I got my current set of hearing aids at Costco, the audiologist programmed them with the "spouse switch" option; if I press one of the control buttons on the left earpiece and hold it for three seconds, the hearing aid amplifiers turn off. They stay muted until I press and hold the same control button.
Haven't used them as a "spouse switch" yet (I kind of like having TWO testicles), but I do use this feature when I'm going to do something noisy, like for instance power up the hydraulic pump that raises and lowers the big hangar door.
Just tried that 3 second thing, does not seem to work on mine. Not that I need it. Just wanted to try and see.
I have the Phonak aids.
Elk
There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)
"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson
"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville
FBHO!!!
The Idaho Elk Hunter
October 24, 2017, 04:19 PM
V-Tailquote:
Originally posted by Elk Hunter:
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
press one of the control buttons on the left earpiece and hold it for three seconds, the hearing aid amplifiers turn off. They stay muted until I press and hold the same control button.
Just tried that 3 second thing, does not seem to work on mine.
It's a software option that can be set by the audiologist when s/he programs the hearing aids. They don't do it by default; you have to ask the audiologist to activate the feature.
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