Vigils…

I despise them. They have to easily be in the top 5 of the most effete, pussy-ass things a human being could ever take part in.


Do they overcome the space time continuum so the deceased can be saved? Do they say fuck cancer? Do they justly confront human evil? No to all. All they do is serve as an ad hoc group therapy session for the powerless and weak. Vigils telegraph that this is the best society can do and it’s total weak sauce.

wut?

Color me confused. Are these like Novenas or death watch get togethers?

It's a rite for the living to help them through the process.

Did you just lose someone recently?

I used to look askance at people who would come and then talk and laugh among themselves. But it's how some people cope.

One imagines he is referring to the vigils people hold in response to somebody being killified.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
One imagines he is referring to the vigils people hold in response to somebody being killified.

Vigils of course are used to deal with a death of a person from natural, accidental or homicidal causes. The event that got me hacked off and the vigil in response was a homicide. No one I knew, just another evil event in a certain evil trend that I am noticing.

How about the grotesque piles of plush toys purchased from the local CVS, mixed in with lit candles and handwritten sympathy cards? All piled up against a chain-link fence or some burn mark next to the road.

I understand that people want to express their sympathy but this stuff with piles of junk which will have to be removed in a short time- yuck.

Oh, I see.

What we do is … put them in a boat, kick it offshore a bit, and then send a flaming arrow to send it ablaze w blessings on to the halls of Valhalla.

Then there’s this Irish tradition thing called a wake …

I propose the use of dynamite for funereal purposes. Let your friends get rip-roaring drunk and hold a lottery to see who gets to push the plunger and blow your dead carcass into a million bits.

Let’s do a rosary, then a wake, then the funeral.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
I propose the use of dynamite for funereal purposes. Let your friends get rip-roaring drunk and hold a lottery to see who gets to push the plunger and blow your dead carcass into a million bits.

He had blew eyes.

quote:

Originally posted by k5blazer:
Let’s do a rosary, then a wake, then the funeral.

OK, and then we can set the charges?

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
How about the grotesque piles of plush toys purchased from the local CVS, mixed in with lit candles and handwritten sympathy cards? All piled up against a chain-link fence or some burn mark next to the road.

I understand that people want to express their sympathy but this stuff with piles of junk which will have to be removed in a short time- yuck.

You forgot the empty liquor bottles!

These trinkets are often found on the streets of Chicago, and many other places, in order to commemorate the untimely passing of a future Rhodes scholar, the next person to go to the moon, cure cancer... Right after they were going to turn their life around.

Then there's the memorial t-shirts, often found with a childhood picture on it, like 6th grade graduation, and the recently deceased was 22yoa. (Because the most recent mug-shot photo is somehow in bad taste) The only better picture on the shirts is the one where the dearly departed looks like they were stricken with some disabling malady, probably arthritis- because that's the only way their fingers could twist like that.

Such a tragedy for someone with a moniker like "half ounce", "wee-wee", "lil murder", "foo-fop" is taken from us soo soon! They seem to have soo much to offer society.

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
Oh, I see.

What we do is … put them in a boat, kick it offshore a bit, and then send a flaming arrow to send it ablaze w blessings on to the halls of Valhalla.

Then there’s this Irish tradition thing called a wake …

Been to both.
The Irish thing usually ends with a massive headache the next morning.

But the Viking one was pretty much the best one I've been to!

Pyre in the hole!!

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
I propose the use of dynamite for funereal purposes. Let your friends get rip-roaring drunk and hold a lottery to see who gets to push the plunger and blow your dead carcass into a million bits.

I guess we can label that cremation…as long as you can fit all the pieces into the jar.

quote:

One imagines he is referring to the vigils people hold in response to somebody being killified.

It depends on who was killified. I would have very different views of vigils for, say, an "aspiring rapper" (Dr. Evil "finger quotes") and an innocent person, especially a child, caught in crossfire. In the end, neither accomplishes anything. The same old shit that led to the deaths keeps going on, unabated.

Put your ashes in a fireworks mortar.

https://heavenlystarsfireworks.com/

I believe Johnny Depp sent off Hunter S Thompson's remains in a cannon.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
I propose the use of dynamite for funereal purposes. Let your friends get rip-roaring drunk and hold a lottery to see who gets to push the plunger and blow your dead carcass into a million bits.

Sounds kind of like what Hunter Thompson did.

Oops, ZSMICHAEL beat me to it.