I am 35 and hate my current life, I work at a dead end job with no college education. I have no interest other then guns and I am bored with that. I drink with my father in law who is the only cool guy I know and he has MS and dementia. I am not suppose to be drinking do to health issues and just started to smoke again after quitting for 12 years. I am fat as shit. Use to be 130 and now I am 190. Oh and I have no sex drive do to i have the testosterone of an 80 man with cancer. There is more but that is all for now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: gambit123,

Vent if you need, we're here for you friend.

If you need solutions, just decide today is the day you change. Deciding to do something about it is the hardest step.

Wake up. Stop smoking. Stop drinking. Stop eating shitty foods. Apply for a training program in a career you actually like (real estate, tool and die, electrician, crane operator, whatever). Do a burpee. Do two the next day, then three the next, and so on until you are doing 100 a day. Buy some Viagra or Cialis, take some ballroom dance lessons, and take your pick of the women. Don't just make good choices, make the best choice you can. Treat life as an immersive RPG, optimize and level up your stats. Be methodical about it.

Oh, and get off social media. Your life only sucks because you are comparing it to the wrong benchmarks. Some dude in Africa is giving up his meal so his kids can eat tonight. It's all perspective.

Make some changes in your diet and personal life rather than embracing being miserable and everything else will follow.

forgot i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7. I do not hate this part just adding this.

quote:

Originally posted by gambit123:
forgot i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7. I do not hate this part just adding this.

There's a start, right there! Be thankful for your lady. Let her know that you are glad that she is part of your life.

Go for a walk. Small accomplishments to build on a new way of living.

35's too early to be giving up.

"I drink with my father in law who is the only cool guy I know and he has MS and dementia." Not good but it is funny.

Much of any change needs to start with YOU & the people around you, no need to ditch the FIL.

Life can be a struggle, one needs to get involved and put up a good fight. Set some realistic goals, short term attainable, then longer term.

One shouldn't have the mindset of seeing what life dishes out. One has to MAKE things happen. Yes, that may sound easier said than done, but doing the same stuff over & over won't bring meaningful change.

Look up 'extreme dieting' on the web, bring that dog for a walk, get off the web for an hour a day. Ask the wife to join you.

Besides any college degree how about the idea of training in a 'trade' that's in higher demand? That would be shorter training with almost guaranteed placement.

You have time to get on a different track, just observing the desire for better is a start, but only the 1st baby step.

quote:

Originally posted by gambit123:
forgot i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7. I do not hate this part just adding this.

Well there's a starting point. With her support you have lots of options. If you want to keep her I highly suggest you get your ass in gear and address these things, if not you may find yourself alone and depressed.

You're not alone. I'm 20-25 lbs over where I want to be. Topped out on pay for what I do, good/bad thing. I make enough to pay all the bills and shoot stuff, not enough for some of the things I'd like to do. I'm currently pondering taking a pay cut and moving from electrical work (master electrician) where it's hard to break 6 figures to finance/sales or any other career that will take me. I'm paralyzed with fear though as I'm used to my income and don't want entry level pay for 4-5 years. Also how do I get my foot in the door as my degree is stagnant and stale.

Not really advice, just commiserating with you. We both need to hit the gym and figure out what path to take.

Good luck in your journey.

Sometimes I feel the same, but then I remember my bills are paid and I don't have the crazy drama a lot of my friends and coworkers have so it's really not that bad.

Yes, when I start a project around the house I'd love to be able to drop 5,10, 20k and not think twice about it, but I just have to budget some money and it all works out in the end.

As for the smoking, drinking, eating, whatever... only you can stop that... I happen to love food so I'm overweight... I go to the gym so I'm not morbidly obese, but I choose to eat the food because I enjoy it even though it kills my dreams of ever obtaining that six pack abs.

OK first step admitting your problems, you know them so address them, its as straight forward as deciding what you want to accomplish, setting a goal and going for that goal.

Without a goal you can't set a path to reach the goal, without a path you can't take the journey, you won't take the first step.

So make a simple one, drop 10 pounds, after that, 10 more, and decide how you will approach this goal.

Get off your butt, your FIL has illness that prevents him from major changes, you don't have those limitations he does.

Good luck, one step at a time, start with establishing goals for each of these things you dislike, rank them in acceptability, which will work in concert (ie stop drinking, lose weight) have more disposable income (stop drinking, more money, stop smoking, more money)

You just need to find what motivates you the most, and work on that one lifestyle goal..

Learn to operate the digital printers that I use.

Base pay is $25 an hour.

quote:

Originally posted by gambit123:
i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7.

You are already more than half-way there for happiness. There are guys, ripped abs, with good jobs, who are miserable with no chance of getting a good wife.

Take care of the body, the rest will follow.

quote:

Originally posted by oddball:

quote:

Originally posted by gambit123:
i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7.

You are already more than half-way there for happiness. There are guys, ripped abs, with good jobs, who are miserable with no chance of getting a good wife.

Take care of the body, the rest will follow.

Yup, or they have some/most of those problems as a result of their current or ex-lady friends. If she's as important to you as she seems, then she's worth making those changes for, and I'm sure she'd support you in making those changes. Drastic changes rarely stick, but breaking things down and fixing small chunks of the problem can get you where you need to be.

quote:

I am 35

You already got it better than me.
HOW I'd love to be 35 again.

I'm 35 as well. My suggestion would be to find a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school and just go. You will meet some good people who have a zest to them and love to teach. There is a great community aspect to jiu jitsu. The workout you get is intense and
you will learn practical skills. There is nothing boring about it. I promise it will reboot your testosterone.

quote:

Originally posted by gambit123:
forgot i have been with the same lovely lady for 14 years and married for 7. I do not hate this part just adding this.

But you "forgot" her in your original post?

Does she know how you feel? Maybe she can help.

Set a big goal for yourself.

Break in down into smaller sub goals. You can make big changes in your life just don't quit on yourself and family..

Only you control how you feel...

I've been there...

I would start exercising, but do something that you like or it will not last.
I would see if you have any natural Doctors in your area. They can see things that regular doctors cannot without many expensive tests, that may be causing this all.
I have to drive a little over 2 hrs to see my natural Dr. It is truly amazing the things he can tell about me. He fixes the cause, not the symptom. I do not hate medical Drs. I have one I go to. My son-in-law is a doctor too, but I really like my natural doc.

I was 35 years old when I started to finish getting my degree as a working adult. The schedule was every other weekend. Other programs let you do it evenings or even just online.

After that, i went on to get two separate masters.

The point is: you can start getting your degree now. The time is going to pass by anyway.

If you truly have extremely low testosterone levels this could be causing many of you're problems. Get tested and on a replacement program. I had T levels at rock bottom and was put on injection replacement. Wife give me a shot every few weeks and it helps. 35 is way to young to feel this way. the fact that you are on Sigforum shows you have something going for you and that you are sharing with us tells me that you haven't given up. Take a breath, Give the wife a kiss and tell her how you're feeling then ASK FOR HER HELP. After 38 years of marriage I can tell you it's much easier to overcome what ails you with the support of a good woman. Good Luck and know their are always guys here willing to listen.