I do not know what is going on with her. She is a good student, hard worker, no drugs or booze and good friends but the last few months have been maddening. Every week she is losing something....headphones, keys, books, homework, you name it!

She understand that she is responsible for replacing the things she loses and has not pushed back but it is still frustrating.

Hoping it is a phase

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She is a good student, hard worker, no drugs or booze and good friends but the last few months have been maddening. Every week she is losing something....headphones, keys, books, homework, you name it!

She is a good student, it's finals time: sleep deprivation?

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Originally posted by LDD:

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She is a good student, hard worker, no drugs or booze and good friends but the last few months have been maddening. Every week she is losing something....headphones, keys, books, homework, you name it!

She is a good student, it's finals time: sleep deprivation?

Thought of that and the wife and I have been trying to help her when we can with things like laundry and giving her a pass on some other chores to see if it helps.

I guess if this is my biggest issue with her I am lucky

Yes, they are knuckleheads sometimes.

I have tried to reinforce the saying "If it's important to you, take care of it".

But they often lose stuff.

A "Tile" on the keys will help find them and the phone, FYI. I we all have one now.

Inattention. I had trouble losing stuff when I was a kid. especially books on loan from the library. Even had my mother tie my scissors to my bag so I won't lose it.

How about teaching her a place for everything and everything in its place? Every time she's done with something, put it back in its place.

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Originally posted by Rey HRH:
How about teaching her a place for everything and everything in its place? Every time she's done with something, put it back in its place.

What's making it more alarming is that up until recently she was OCD level organized and everything had to be "just so". This is why I am hoping it is phase as I know she has it in her. It also has helped when i make her pay for replacement keys, cables and headphones out pocket and when she lost her Hydroflask it was replacement but something refereed to as "punishment bottle" which was as bad as it sounds I was amazed how quickly the expensive bottle was found.

You could get some of the Tile thingys that locate stuff by BT...

I’m almost 46 and go through spells where I forget/lose things. It’s infuriating for me and my wife. You definitely got a good kid if this is the worst thing you have to deal with though.

How old is she? She might grow out of it.

Then again, I haven't grown out of it yet and I'm 81.

What is her age? It could be hormone related.

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Originally posted by brecaidra:
What is her age? It could be hormone related.

That's probably my problem, too.

Have you talked with her about it? Sounds like she could be stressed.

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Originally posted by StayFrosty:
Have you talked with her about it? Sounds like she could be stressed.

We have talked to her muliple times and it has gotten a little better but still happening more often than it should.

I am hoping it is just age, hormones and teenage stress becasue she graduates in a year an has her sights set on NYU which will eat her alive if this keeps up

Please don't take this the wrong way. If you're hoping it's X or Y you might want to rethink the conversation and try again. It sounds like your take may be accurate but if these talks were successful then she should have told you what's behind her change in behavior and there's no need for hoping. You get there by allowing her to share her true feelings about what is going on in her life then she she'll be able to release the pressure. More talks about losing stuff is going to add more stress IMO and so will fatherly advice. Sometimes women need to vent to a non-judgmental ear and when the conversation opens/revolves around "why are you losing stuff" it inspires resentment and a reluctance to truly open up.

Again, it's not my intention to overstep and I'm basing this off of very limited information so please keep that in mind.

Problems such as these are often symptomatic of other issues. You are correct in assuming that she will have difficulty at NYU if this continues.

I would suggest a consult with a clinical psychologist who should be able to pinpoint the nature of the problem.

Could someone be stealing from her?

not sure it will help, girls think differently from boys. BUT, I have had success putting things in the exact same place. Wallet goes on the dresser if its not in my pocket, car keys go on the hook if they aren't in my pocket etc. Same thing with the vehicle set up, sunglasses in the same place if not on my head, gps in the same console, etc. May be totally different with a female mind.

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Originally posted by creedbratton2:
not sure it will help, girls think differently from boys. BUT, I have had success putting things in the exact same place. Wallet goes on the dresser if its not in my pocket, car keys go on the hook if they aren't in my pocket etc. Same thing with the vehicle set up, sunglasses in the same place if not on my head, gps in the same console, etc. May be totally different with a female mind.

That's a person to person difference, not a gender thing. That's my mindset, a place for everything and everything in it's place. But I've had plenty of roommates that just leave shit wherever because it occurs to them that they want to use their hands for something else that instant. My wife is like that, and it drives me nuts.

The other thing my wife does is she never touches or moves anything while searching for missing items. When I search for things, I physically touch or move things to confirm that I have indeed cleared the area. I will move paper from one side of my desk to the other, or physically move the magazines in the seat back pocket to check for things behind or beneath. My wife, on the other hand, just visually scans. You could put her phone under a sheet of paper, and it might as well have fallen into a black hole.

The other thing she does that drives me nuts is that she immediately asks if I've seen something or asks for help finding something the *instant* she needs it and it's not in her hand. She could be in bed, with the phone no more than arms reach from where she's last used it 30 seconds ago, and she will say, "Hey, where's my phone?" the *instant* she needs it, before even lifting her gaze up to see it on the nightstand. Or, in the kitchen: "Hey, have you seen the spatul...ah, there it is!" as she opens the drawer where she knows all the spatulas live.

I call my step-daughter #2 Sadim (Midas backwards) because everything she touches turns to crap. She raised my living room blinds once, that was the last time they worked.

She got her first car. Two more trips to the mechanic and it'll technically be a new car.

She bought 13 fish, all dead within a month because they are pets and she wanted to pet them.

The bathtub, sink, toilet and laundry machines have all broken under her usage at one or more points in her time here.

I have dubbed her Hurricane Tiffani. She's a delightful tragedy. It would be a blessing for her to lose things instead of destroying them.

Some people are just that way. Some are always on time, some are habitually late. Some are always well groomed, some, well, aren’t.

Some never misplace keys, glasses, money, similar personal items. Some lose them consistently.

It’s just the way they are.

I would still have the Parker pen I had in 7th grade if it had not broke while I was in the Navy. I never lose glasses, or keys, or pocket knives, pens, etc.