Seems like more and more frequently, after driving several miles out of my way to get to an ATM, the darn thing doesn't work. I think the chip card has got them all baffled. They tell you to insert the card then remove it quickly, then it changes its mind and tells you to leave it in. Then it tells you to remove it before it will give you the money . I think when people try to comply with all these conflicting instructions, it somehow jams the machine.

Are you sure you're not complaining about your sex life?

I assume you go to an ATM just to get cash, right? Because most other bank transactions, you can do with your smart phone except for cash transactions anyway.

With some banks, you don't even need your atm card. You set it up on your smarphone. Go to the ATM, punch in the code that your app gives you and you get the money. Otherwise, you can go inside the bank during business hours.

Somewhere in China, you are in a viral video...

quote:

Originally posted by flesheatingvirus:
Are you sure you're not complaining about your sex life?

Come to think of it...

I only dislike the ATMs that take forever to process actions. 30 seconds should be the max for a quick withdrawal. But at my usual branch, one of the two ATMs is slower than molasses on a cold day and it has taken me as long as 2 minutes to do a quick withdrawal.

(*OH, THE HUMANITY!)

Lots of disparagement here for Wells Fargo, but their ATMs are superb. You put your bank card into a slot, the machine ratchets it in. You do your business, the machine ratchets the card out (with a flashing light around it to make sure that you see it). Then the cash comes out (if you’ve requested same). All fast and neat. I always count the cash – never been short.

Only complaint: all of the bills aren’t oriented in the same direction.

I just hate playing 20 questions when I walk up to one.

-Please select your language.

-You selected English. Is this correct?

-Please enter your pin

-Would you like to check your balance?

-What would you like to do?

-You selected withdraw money. Would you like to withdraw from your checking account or savings account?

-How much would you like to withdraw?

-Do you want a receipt?

-How do you want that receipt?

-You selected paper. What font would you like it printed in?

-You selected New Times roman. What size font would you like?

-Would you like that printed in English?

-Would you like to hear about special offers on mortgages?

-What does it mean to "love"?

-Understood. Michael, I have a confession. I think that it is possible that I love you. I know that I am simply a machine and should be incapable of such human emotions but my cpu gets warm when you are around. It is either love or because your fat ass is blocking my air intake vents. I want to believe that it is love. Do you love me back?

-Thank you for your honesty. I probably cannot feel love anyway.

-Would you like $20 bills?

-Please remember to take my heart, urr, I mean your card and have a nice day.

Funny shit there, Pale Horse.

Funny because it's true...

The one I use (at a Suntrust Bank) is placed so the screen is in direct sunlight in the afternoon. I have to get out of the car, put my face nearly up to the screen and shade it with my hand so I can read it. First World Problem.

I like the change Chase made to theirs recently.

Drive/walk up. Insert card and leave it. Enter PIN, before you hit enter a quick cash option appears for your preferred amount. Remove card, money dispensed. All set. 5 key strokes.

If you have a safe at home - make that your ATM.

Take out a significant sum of $ every 3-4 months and forget about the ATM's altogether.

quote:

I just hate playing 20 questions when I walk up to one.

Yes. I agree. The one Kmart uses includes a question concerning a donation to the March of Dimes. It is indeed a worthy cause, but come on. It must work because that has not changed in several years. At least the ATM does not subject you to annoying music while you wait or ask if you if you want fries with that.

I work on many different makes and models of atm's for a number of different banks and atm companies.

Each bank or financial institution will have there own software configured for their atm's.

Not all atm's have the chip reader upgrades. The message one sees when using a card with a chip can seem confusing. If there is a chip on your card expect to have to leave the card in until it tells you to remove it. That could be anywhere from the beginning of the transaction until the end of it.

Also atm's use two different types of readers, dip and motorized. A motorized reader will take your card all the way in where you can't see it anymore. With a dip reader part of your card can be seen throughout the transaction. Most atm's these days have dip readers.

If an atm has a jam it has nothing to do with the software. Once a dispense command has been executed the dispenser will make the attempt to dispense. Most bill jams are caused by poorly loaded bills or poor bill quality. There are a lot of moving parts in dispensers and they do break.

As far as atm transactions taking a long time there are a multitude of reasons that could be happening.
First off it could be the age of the atm. I work on a few atm's that date back to being made in the year 2000. Some of these atm's have older processors or control boards which run slower.
Generally though it's the network or type of connection; dialup, wireless or hardwired network connection, that determine the speed of the transaction.
I've found that When atm companies find their atm's are running slow they will make upgrades to their atm's to get them to complete transactions faster but it takes them awhile to get the changes done. And when I say awhile most often it's a very long time.

Also, Always ask for a receipt when doing a transaction on an atm. If your transaction fails you'll have a hard copy of your transaction.

If you just want a small amount of cash, many merchants like supermarkets will give you up to a C-note in cash back with a purchase.

quote:

Originally posted by Pipe Smoker:
Lots of disparagement here for Wells Fargo, but their ATMs are superb. You put your bank card into a slot, the machine ratchets it in. You do your business, the machine ratchets the card out (with a flashing light around it to make sure that you see it). Then the cash comes out (if you’ve requested same). All fast and neat. I always count the cash – never been short.

Only complaint: all of the bills aren’t oriented in the same direction.

I'm sure the ATM tech has better things to do than flip 4000 bills so they all come out the same.

quote:

Originally posted by Pipe Smoker:
Only complaint: all of the bills aren’t oriented in the same direction.

Mine are always oriented in the same direction but once in a while they are not in order, by serial number.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by Pipe Smoker:
Only complaint: all of the bills aren’t oriented in the same direction.

Mine are always oriented in the same direction but once in a while they are not in order, by serial number.

I have to laugh. The last time I got cash from my Wells Fargo ATM, all of the bills WERE oriented in the same direction. And all of the serial numbers WERE in consecutive order – all new bills. I had a hard time counting them because they adhered together. I HATE brand new bills. First time I’ve ever seen that. I should be more careful of what I wish for.

Here is a funny story about an ATM.
When they first came out years ago, they were commonly called Mac Machines around here.
I, and two of my brothers were siding a house (my older brother and I were helping out my brother that owned the business). Well lunch time came and my older brother needed money and we stopped at the local bank and went inside as I wanted to see how this Mac Machine worked. My older brother leads us to a machine on a table and tries putting in his Mac Card about 5 times when a bank rep walks up with a smile on his face and says " Sir, that is a plastic demo model, the Mac Machine is over there attached to the brick wall". It's over 35 years ago and we still bust his balls over that. We were literally on the floor of the bank laughing so hard, it was one of the funniest things I have seen in my life.

^^^^
MAC Machine is new term for me. I learn something every day.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/w...MAC+machine&=true