If your wife says something asinine and completely stupid, you don't call her out on it. My daughter wedged a rock into her car seat latch. My wife tried to get it out first, cause it was in her car. I tried to pry it out with my car key, no dice, it was in there really good. I told her that I would just take a pair of pliers and pull it out, 5 seconds max. Her "solution" was to take entire car seat out and shake the seat to see if the rock falls out.

I am apparently not allowed to suggest that her "solution" was fucking dumb, especially after she heard my solution. Being married can be fun....

quote:

fucking dumb

Most women aren't fans of this combination of words, especially when used to describe them or their actions.

Next time, just say this - "let me give it a try honey." Then just take care of whatever it is, then later laugh with a buddy over a beer at her moronic attempted fixes.

I promise you if you follow my advice your life will contain less stress.

ETA, maybe get her a cat too, that might cheer her up.

quote:

Originally posted by Skins2881:

quote:

fucking dumb

Most women aren't fans of this combination of words, especially when used to describe them or their actions.

Next time, just say this - "let me give it a try honey." Then just take cat of whatever it is, then later laugh with a buddy over a beer at her moronic attempted fixes.

I promise you if you follow my advice your life will contain less stress.

After 40 years of marriage, I've learned. If she thinks it's better to spin the truck to remove a lug nut, "Need any help honey?"

If she says "I'M FINE" or "NOTHING IS WRONG", I do a combat roll and head for my plate carrier.

quote:

Originally posted by ulsterman:
After 40 years of marriage, I've learned. If she thinks it's better to spin the truck to remove a lug nut, "Need any help honey?"

If she says "I'M FINE" or "NOTHING IS WRONG", I do a combat roll and head for my plate carrier.

^^ Yup. The only thing worse than losing an argument with your wife is winning one.

Remember - you tell a person to suck an egg, you don't tell them how to suck an egg because even though they may do it differently from you, they may end up doing it faster.

Just refer to her as SWMBO and your nut clipping will be complete.

What happened to the advice "do you want me to do it, or do you want to tell me how you want it done?"

Restated, I'll do it my way, or you can do it yours. I'm good with either. I just don't need a boss to tell me how you'd do it. If you want it done your way, I'm good with you doing that. Then leave in a hurry because you've just invited a shit storm you don't want to be a part of.

Remember, its your wife. She wants a slave to order around. Your job is to not be that slave unless at the end, you get to tell her how she should do that thing with her mouth you enjoy so much. Under that bargain, you can be a winner.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: rburg,

quote:

Originally posted by Phantom229:
If your wife says something asinine and completely stupid, you don't call her out on it. My daughter wedged a rock into her car seat latch. My wife tried to get it out first, cause it was in her car. I tried to pry it out with my car key, no dice, it was in there really good. I told her that I would just take a pair of pliers and pull it out, 5 seconds max. Her "solution" was to take entire car seat out and shake the seat to see if the rock falls out.

I am apparently not allowed to suggest that her "solution" was fucking dumb, especially after she heard my solution. Being married can be fun....

Are you posting from the dog house?

Inquiring minds want to know...did you get the rock out?

Even smart people can sometimes have their moments. Recently my wife, a very sharp woman, told me our new microwave was broken. She said she wanted to heat coco for 90 seconds, but every time she entered 90 and pushed start, the display switched to 1:30. Unfortunately she figured it out before I could get her to call tech support (while I taped the call of course).

Just today I did this. I have two phones. While sitting in the car waiting, I was watching Monk on phone #1. I then used phone #2 to call phone #1 so I could find it. Apparently, using a phone as a TV makes it invisible, physiologically.

quote:

Originally posted by Skins2881:

quote:

f***ing dumb

Most women people aren't fans of this combination of words, especially when used to describe them or their actions.

Fixed that for you.

quote:

Originally posted by sigcrazy7:
Even smart people can sometimes have their moments. Recently my wife, a very sharp woman, told me our new microwave was broken. She said she wanted to heat coco for 90 seconds, but every time she entered 90 and pushed start, the display switched to 1:30. Unfortunately she figured it out before I could get her to call tech support (while I taped the call of course).

Just today I did this. I have two phones. While sitting in the car waiting, I was watching Monk on phone #1. I then used phone #2 to call phone #1 so I could find it. Apparently, using a phone as a TV makes it invisible, physiologically.

had a woman in a store I worked at, hired to be an admin for the store manager,

we used a mishmash of computer programs, and she was struggling to get a grasp on them,

(admittedly, they could be a bit to adjust too)

so , after a few days of training, learning the ropes etc, she noticed the pointer for the mouse was different in several programs,

and they were, since that is apparently the way the programs were written (mouse would be a black arrow, or a white arrow, or the hand pointing a finger, depending on application

so, after about 30 minutes of her talking and complaining, trying to reset this and that, I just simply said, call the help desk,,

3 hrs later she was still on the phone with them and finally gave up,

thankfully, she did not tell the help desk guy my name,, surely he would have come looking for me

quote:

Originally posted by Floyd D. Barber:

quote:

If she says "I'M FINE" or "NOTHING IS WRONG", I do a combat roll and head for my plate carrier.

That is piss my pants funny right there!

Simple truth(s) I've learned about marriage:

10 years in: Pick your battles

After 20 years I learned that you need to carefully pick your battles.

After 30: You just don't!

I'm a slow learner

You should have phrased it more tenderly. Like this:

"That might work, hon. But why stop there? Why don't I just pick up the car and shake it, like, really REALLY hard?"

That would have gone over much better. You're welcome.

My marriage advise is simple. Pick your battles, but don't lie to your spouse. Meaning, if they're being stupid, tell them.

All the "wife" stuff typically boils down to what is emotional turmoil. Some of it can certainly be let go.

But, if it really bothers you, don't let it go. If it is factually incorrect or unsafe, don't let it go.

The road is long. Taking the easy path of not pissing off your spouse, is not the right path, long term.

When you marry someone, it is a commitment to weather all storms, and if neither of you can handle small things, then big ones will destroy you.

Don't let that happen. Don't let your spouse be stupid.

This is a two way street, as marriage should be.