Reminds me of this:

Thanks, guys ! Now I'm never going to enter a men's room again without thinking of this. It did remind me of a story about my late father, that I have related many times. My dad was a very serious Catholic. He came from the old school, more Catholic than the Pope. Never ate meat on Fridays, not just Lent, never. Needless to say he was not into all the hand holding and shaking hands during Mass. When we went to church with dad, we always looked forward to the Sign of Peace. Everyone else would be turning to their neighbor, shaking hands, etc. Dad would bow his head and cover his face with his right hand, seemingly deep in prayer.
One evening dad and a friend were attending a basketball game at a large arena. The two of them went to the men's room and were at the urinals. A third man comes in and joins them. My dad and his friend finish first and proceed to the sinks. While washing their hands, they see the third person, zip up and head out the door, bypassing the sinks in the process. My dad turns to his friend and said, "Now you know why I don't shake hands with those bastards in church!"

"The World is my Urinal"......really, it is !

Anywho, wanna be a clown? As your standing shoulder to shoulder with some other dude pissing, simply say: "Hey, nice wrist watch"

I follow proper etiquette as much as I can but if only one is open, I'm taking it.

" Don't eat the big white mint" .

Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM90lwrz4Og

Recently I'm sure you guys have noticed all the lowered urinals. Since they don't make the good 'ol one size fits all-the-way-to-the-floor anymore, we now get kiddie ones too. Some are so low that a tall guy might need to watch for the TOP edge. I simply hate it when presented with 2 choices, the 4' 11" guy in front of me takes the tall one and needs to stay on his toes to use it. That is not swingin' above your weight, no sir!

Someone called out a guy at work who was heading for the door without washing his hands.

He replied...
I love my dick, I wash my hands BEFORE I touch it!

quote:

Originally posted by cparktd:
Someone called out a guy at work who was heading for the door without washing his hands.

He replied...
I love my dick, I wash my hands BEFORE I touch it!

Back when I was in the Navy, the joke was that a Marine and a Sailor were both in the head, urinating. The sailor finished and started to walk out.

The marine called him, saying "In the Marine Corps, they teach us to wash our hands after we piss."

The sailor replied, "In the Navy, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by cparktd:
Someone called out a guy at work who was heading for the door without washing his hands.

He replied...
I love my dick, I wash my hands BEFORE I touch it!

Back when I was in the Navy, the joke was that a Marine and a Sailor were both in the head, urinating. The sailor finished and started to walk out.

The marine called him, saying "In the Marine Corps, they teach us to wash our hands after we piss."

The sailor replied, "In the Navy, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

Yep. I've heard several variations of that one.

Insert your favorite college rivalry for instance...

quote:

Originally posted by preten2b:
Recently I'm sure you guys have noticed all the lowered urinals. Since they don't make the good 'ol one size fits all-the-way-to-the-floor anymore, we now get kiddie ones too. Some are so low that a tall guy might need to watch for the TOP edge. I simply hate it when presented with 2 choices, the 4' 11" guy in front of me takes the tall one and needs to stay on his toes to use it. That is not swingin' above your weight, no sir!

And if you choose poorly you get splatter on your pants.

quote:

Originally posted by preten2b:
Recently I'm sure you guys have noticed all the lowered urinals. Since they don't make the good 'ol one size fits all-the-way-to-the-floor anymore, we now get kiddie ones too. Some are so low that a tall guy might need to watch for the TOP edge. I simply hate it when presented with 2 choices, the 4' 11" guy in front of me takes the tall one and needs to stay on his toes to use it. That is not swingin' above your weight, no sir!

As a matter of fact, the all the way to the floor urinals seem to be making a comeback. I see them frequently in some of the swankier hotels and restaurants. As for "splashback", you don't realize the extent of the problem, until you start wearing shorts in the summertime.

"So. This is where the dicks hang out."

quote:

Originally posted by Ripley:

quote:

Originally posted by rburg:
No, I didn't bother to wash my hands. Mine is small enough I don't need 2 hands to do the task.

Size notwithstanding, I keep mine clean and make a particular point not to pee on myself.

It's not peeing on yourself. It's the fact that your pride and joy is cooped up in your pants right next to your rectum. Plus it gets hot and moist in there so things travel.

quote:

Originally posted by Icabod:

quote:

Originally posted by Ripley:

quote:

Originally posted by rburg:
No, I didn't bother to wash my hands. Mine is small enough I don't need 2 hands to do the task.

Size notwithstanding, I keep mine clean and make a particular point not to pee on myself.

It's not peeing on yourself. It's the fact that your pride and joy is cooped up in your pants right next to your rectum. Plus it gets hot and moist in there so things travel.

TMI !

quote:

It's not peeing on yourself. It's the fact that your pride and joy is cooped up in your pants right next to your rectum. Plus it gets hot and moist in there so things travel.

If you are getting poopy dick just by wearing underwear, you're doing it wrong.

I laughed so hard I pissed myself!

quote:

Originally posted by NK402:

quote:

Originally posted by preten2b:
Recently I'm sure you guys have noticed all the lowered urinals. Since they don't make the good 'ol one size fits all-the-way-to-the-floor anymore, we now get kiddie ones too. Some are so low that a tall guy might need to watch for the TOP edge. I simply hate it when presented with 2 choices, the 4' 11" guy in front of me takes the tall one and needs to stay on his toes to use it. That is not swingin' above your weight, no sir!

As for "splashback", you don't realize the extent of the problem, until you start wearing shorts in the summertime.

Yes, exactly! The local movie theater has urinals with minimal spacing and no dividers. Son and I go see a movie and are using the facilities when the show gets out and I head into a stall to take a leak. Son knows I don't have a modest bone in my body and asks, "Why the stall?" I told him the last time I used the urinals in there when it was busy and I was wearing shorts I almost had to beat someone senseless!

quote:

Originally posted by Heatmiser:

quote:

It's not peeing on yourself. It's the fact that your pride and joy is cooped up in your pants right next to your rectum. Plus it gets hot and moist in there so things travel.

If you are getting poopy dick just by wearing underwear, you're doing it wrong.

Okay, that one did about make me pee my pants. Bladder control aint what it used to be.

Sometimes it happens that the middle one is the only one open. Reluctantly, you step up there only to have the other two guys finish and leave. You’re left there using the middle urinal with no one on either side. You can feel the next guy who comes along thinking, “What a douche.” I want to explain...but