Maybe they never ever seem to be a dumb ass, for as long as you've known them

But just wait, once they hit 75 or so.

They will just challenge their mental,physical ,emotional and cognitive abilities to prove everyone around them wrong.
THEN

Then the big bad wolf that is age blows down their dilapidated castle.
It got old four years ago,

Giving up independence will be a bitch ,when I get there but I won't have anyone to coddle ,care for or pamper me.
I am not going to be "that" old fossil.

Old people mentally regress to infants. Just the way life is. I hope to remember this in a few years as I age out

quote:

Old people mentally regress to infants. Just the way life is. I hope to remember this in a few years as I age out

^^^^^^^^^
I guess you are referring to Dementia. Your analogy is incorrect. If it were that easy you would put them all in cribs and give them a bottle. A lot more complex. Frontal temporal dementia is a good example.

so far, so good!! i'm 76, back to driving local va volunteer van 2 days a week, the other 5 days spent at the gym!!

This b.s. about not needing a cane ,walking stick, a walker or hand rails.

And if you point out the advantages they get belligerent or start pouting.
Man the fuck up!

Your inner ear is all but gone, you walk with your arms out like you are going to start flying.

You don't need help but you want me around to do stuff.

I don't mind helping you at all but work with me the least little bit.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
I AM NOT IN DENIAL!

I thought De Nial was a river in Africa.

quote:

Originally posted by Flash-LB:

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

I AM NOT IN DENIAL!

I thought De Nial was a river in Africa.

Wait . . . Isn't that a trim level on some GM vehicles?

Nah, De Nial is that one guy from Raging Bull and Goodfellas.

I am experiencing this with my 85 year old mother. Recognizes her inability to do nearly everything. Denies that she needs any help from her son or daughter. It is hard to love some people.

Giving up your independence is hard. Especially if you’re proud, and you’ve managed alone your whole life. Show some grace to those folks. It’s really hard to come to terms with.

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
This b.s. about not needing a cane ,walking stick, a walker or hand rails.

And if you point out the advantages they get belligerent or start pouting.
Man the fuck up!

Your inner ear is all but gone, you walk with your arms out like you are going to start flying.

You don't need help but you want me around to do stuff.

I don't mind helping you at all but work with me the least little bit.

Our mom does not have dementia, but she is in total denial as to both hearing issues (my hearing loss tested normal for someone my age - yeah, that is two phones in a row that “don’t work” but no mention of any recommendation for hearing aids…) The worst part is her total wobbliness in getting around. Won’t use her cane or a walker. Not if, but when she falls. Just had an evaluation for for physical therapy annd she scored “fall risk” , but nope, everything is find and she is “strong.” I’m waiting to hear how she wished she’d used the cane or walker when she is laid up with us having to take care of her.

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
Man the fuck up!

I nearly spit food on my keyboard.

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
Show some grace to those folks. It’s really hard to come to terms with.

This can't be said enough.

quote:

Show some grace to those folks. It’s really hard to come to terms with.

Yes. What goes around will (eventually) come around.

I constantly hear my very upset father say "I don't understand what's going on, this isn't like me. I don't know who to go see about it."

Uh... um... er... what do you say to that?

He'll be 90 in March, still working a full time manual labor job, and still doing the occasional job for old customers of what's left of his business. He held it off a LOT longer than most, but it's hit him fast and hard, emotionally. Probably worse than most people BECAUSE he's been able to be active so long, his age is hitting him all at once.

quote:

Originally posted by 4MUL8R:
I am experiencing this with my 85 year old mother. Recognizes her inability to do nearly everything. Denies that she needs any help from her son or daughter. It is hard to love some people.

I live with an 84-year-old who is suffering. I would suggest that ONLY love will work.


I learn this lesson every day.

Sixty four currently. I hope tohave my purple belt in jujitsu by the time I'm 65 and God willing if I live that long, someday my brown belt.

My mom was internet dating at 85.

My mom is 85. My dad died a couple of years ago, so now she has to handle car repairs, getting the plumber out, etc. My mom is very type A, and generally capable, but every phone call with her is a recitation of "I had to have the air conditioner man out," "I had to find a new guy to mow," and "the bank screwed up my transfer." This is also accompanied by complaints about how hard all that is. It is surprising how hard she finds all this and how put upon she acts about having to do it.

I get it. Dad is gone. She misses him. He did all that stuff.

But I'd like to have one conversation about something other than how difficult basic adulting is.

quote:

Originally posted by cas:
I constantly hear my very upset father say "I don't understand what's going on, this isn't like me. I don't know who to go see about it."

Uh... um... er... what do you say to that?

He'll be 90 in March, still working a full time manual labor job, and still doing the occasional job for old customers of what's left of his business. He held it off a LOT longer than most, but it's hit him fast and hard, emotionally. Probably worse than most people BECAUSE he's been able to be active so long, his age is hitting him all at once.

Yup. Hit my dad a couple years ago, and he’s furious about it. Can’t do it himself, doesn’t want to ask anyone but maybe 2 people to help, and both those guys are up there in age, too. And I can see myself being exactly the same way because I try hard not to count on anyone and I guess really that’s what we should all be doing- so it’s not such a hard thing to unbend and ask for help.
It can be freaking devastating to that individual. And that’s with the mind pretty much intact.

Somebody posted something on here once- I think it was his wife who might’ve worked in a dementia unit- about meeting people where they are at mentally on that day. These folks we are talking about here who are completely aware of their infirmities and are incredibly frustrated by them might need this same sort of thought process.
It sucks on both sides of the coin.