A while back, I posted a rant about ghetto/white-trash baby names and the extent to which they guarantee that the already disadvantaged child gets beaten down, every. day.

So, to any ghetto/white trash life that might stumble across THIS rant, please. I beg you, again. For the love of all that is good, before choosing a name that your child will carry for their ENTIRE LIFE, think.

I’ll actually go one better. Find someone in your circle of friends & family and run the name past them. This should ideally be somebody who had more talent at the whole “High School / Reading & Writing” thing than you. Write the proposed name on a piece of paper, and have them sound it out. See if it sounds like what YOU think it sounds like, and make sure you understand what that sound MEANS. That same literate person should check the dictionary just to be safe.

My “Name of the Day that demonstrates why this is a good policy?"

Mo’Ronn. Born November 2016. Go ahead. Sound it out.

As near as I can figure, Baby Momma is Mo[rest of name redacted to protect the guilty]. She's named each of her sex trophies Mo’[some variant of Baby Daddy’s name.] This baby might never actually MEET Ronnell, but she can thank mom and the DNA donor for ensuring that every person that ever reads her name out loud will have to suppress a chuckle first.

I won’t even get into the territory covered in past rants: Baby Daddy’s name backwards (James = Semaj) isn’t clever, it’s disturbing, and in this example makes him sound like a Serb war criminal. Naming your post-GWOT-baby “Jihad” is probably bad, too. Just don’t do it. They might want to take a commercial flight some day.

The unique names (wait, I actually had Unique in a prior case) certainly will make life easier for future investigators who need to discern THIS Jahnelle Williams from the other Jon'elle Williams in the world, but otherwise, it borders on child abuse. Please. Stop.

"Do you have LaRay Jones locked up?"

"No. We have a Larry Jones"

"It's pronounced LaRay"

"It's spelled Larry"

My two favorites:

Lavatorious and Vagina-qua

How about La-sha aka "Ladasha".

I see many of 'those' names in the newspaper every day - in the Police Blotter column.

No kidding. Baby here in the hospital was named Dalove O'christ.

"How do you pronounce your first name?"

"What the hell does it look like?"

"Gibberish. Now, how do you pronounce it?"

Receptacala Semana is my all time favorite.

I have a customer and name is "Female" pronounced "Fe Malie" nice touch. Chris

I think the middle-upper class suburban names are just as bad. Nearly every kid that my daughters know either have a first name that sounds like a last name, or a name on a girl that sounds like it should be on a boy or vice versa.

I named both daughters and I tried hard to some up with names that were classic, but not trendy or common. They are also traditional girl names and nobody will ever have to ask them how it is spelled.

You Done Messed up A-Aron....Thanks Skins that was a good laugh.

Someone has to have the skills to find this and I'm not making this up. I'll give the city and the name of the local newspaper.
Police blotter had a person's name in it, wait for it,
Blessed Be Fudge.
City is Warren, Ohio and the local newspaper is called The Warren Tribune. It's been a few years but maybe someone has more skills than me.

once arrested a dealer whose Momma must have been a movie go-er or semi-literate. His name was Dartanyan. So, okay, she didn't spell so good.

http://www.tribtoday.com/news/...nd-jury-35-indicted/

My Google Fu is on tonight. Scroll through it and you'll see his name.
Tell me that's not the most fucked up name.

A friend of mine, who is a LEO, encountered a Lemonjello, pronounced La-mon-gel-lo, the other day. Seriously!

I once stopped a Korean lady for speeding:
Suk Ho Moon.
One of our local black hookers actual legal name:
Magnolia Thunderpussy.
Always fun to run her tag over the air!

This I saw when I waa teaching at a community college. I was calling roll and called the name Aaron. He did not answer, I called it again, and he did not answer. The finally, he said here. One of the other guys said do you mean A A Ron? Everybody laughed except me. I admitted that there might be a generation gap here. So at break time one of the guys showed me the above video. It was funny. Aaron who I was calling was just not paying attention and was pretty mad when the guys called him the other name.
He had been a sniper in Afghanistan, so I would not have said that had I been his classmate.

There was a page or so in "Unintended Consequences" that explained the reason for the unusual names. Of course, there was a guy named Claude Balls that was the mayor of Ft. Wayne, IN.

Love Lee Jones, a guy.