Im the unofficial IT person at work. I have a basic knowledge of computers and common sense.

The front desk clerk texts me and says the password prompt screen is not popping up. I reply did you restart the computer. She replies I just got in and im trying to get caught up from the weekend.

So I come to her computer and ask again if she restarted the computer. She says this was the screen when I came in... blah blah was the last person who was logged in.

Ok. Restart the computer. Click that little circle in the lower left corner. Lower, lower, no, to the left, further left, ok, now down, no, not in program files. The little circle, you just were just on it. Stop scrolling the mouse wheel. The circle. Yes there. Now restart.

Would you believe after the restart the password prompt screen appeared.

quote:

Originally posted by gpbst3:

The front desk clerk texts me and says the password prompt screen is not popping up. I reply did you restart the computer. She replies I just got in and im trying to get caught up from the weekend.

I have been known to go into the "broken record" mode, in which I keep asking the question until either it is answered, or the other party gets tired of communicating with me.

Next time tell her to check for kinks in the power cord.
You'll probably find her still under her desk when you get there.

Ha. I stare at them as well, my favorite is when they answer my question with a question

I have my pet peeves but this one is a major psychotic hatred of mine.

It happens a lot when I am asked to fix someones car.
Me: What year is your car?
Idiot: It's a Kia Rio.
Me: Yes, you already told me the make and model. What is the year?
Idiot: It only stalls out when it gets hot. What do you think is causing that?
Me: I have no idea yet. I need to know the model year so I know what engine I'm dealing with.
Idiot: The engine runs really great when it's cold.
Me: .....good luck with that. walks off shaking head

"Fill in the blank" as needed...

I found the problem. It is the loose nut behind the "wheel/monitor/trigger/etc.".

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:

Me: What year is your car?
Idiot: It's a Kia Rio.
Me: Yes, you already told me the make and model. What is the year?
Idiot: It only stalls out when it gets hot. What do you think is causing that?
Me: I have no idea yet. I need to know the model year so I know what engine I'm dealing with.
Idiot: The engine runs really great when it's cold.

What color is it?

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:

Me: What year is your car?
Idiot: It's a Kia Rio.
Me: Yes, you already told me the make and model. What is the year?
Idiot: It only stalls out when it gets hot. What do you think is causing that?
Me: I have no idea yet. I need to know the model year so I know what engine I'm dealing with.
Idiot: The engine runs really great when it's cold.

What color is it?

Idiot: Albuquerque

I find the "three 'R's of Microsoft Problem Resolution" work almost 100% of the time:

• Reboot
• Reinstall
• Replace

The problem is the interface between the keyboard and the chair.

Those damned ID10T errors are a bitch to deal with...

I feel your pain and completely understand.

I do troubleshooting for a living. I can't get a straight answer to save my life. Even to a question as simple as, have you tried replacing the light bulbs? Had that one today in fact, no problems I could find other than dead light bulbs.

My other fun one, "can you describe the problem?" "I don't know that is your job." "No, ma'am, I fix the problem if you just tell me where and what the problem is." "Just check the whole house." "Sorry ma'am, we didn't schedule enough time today to check your entire 5,000 sqft home for problems that you can't identify, call us back when you know what's not working."

quote:

Originally posted by SW_Sig:
The problem is the interface between the keyboard and the chair.

We had an acronym for that: PEBCAK. Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.

I work on web applications.
Often, I am handed a fire drill that has to be my "top priority".
The ticket often contains a screenshot of the application, with no URL. The application is for dozens of clients. Each is slightly different based on the client.

Q: Which client is having the problem?
A: The application is broken.

Q: What are the steps to get the problem to occur?
A: There is a small screenshot attached to the ticket and the application is broken.

Q: Has the QA team been able to reproduce the steps to get the problem to occur?
A: The application is broken and the client wants to know when it will be fixed.

I work in maintenance. Lots of times, after all the above mentioned verbal acrobatics, I get it fixed and then I’m asked “what did you do?”
My answer “what did I do? I fixed it. That’s what you called me for, right?”

I feel your pain.Try getting people to describe events, vehicles or suspects so can you investigate something.

quote:

Originally posted by gpbst3:
Ok. Restart the computer. Click that little circle in the lower left corner. Lower, lower, no, to the left, further left, ok, now down, no, not in program files. The little circle, you just were just on it. Stop scrolling the mouse wheel. The circle. Yes there. Now restart.

That describes TO A TEE what it's like instructing my mother to click on something plainly on the screen. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?!?!!

My corollary bitch is when I answer the phone at the store and the caller says "I have a question". I immediately reply "I have an answer". That usually confuses them. Mission accomplished.

PICNIC:
Problem
In
Chair
Not
In
Computer