My sense of humor and discretion.

SIGforum

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March 02, 2017, 12:41 PM

PHPaul

My sense of humor and discretion.

Went in for a routine colonoscopy today. Schedule said "be here by 8:30 for check-in and prep, procedure scheduled for 9:30"

Well, I did my part, but the procedure didn't start until closer to 10:30. Doc came in to brief me and go over the forms and said "Sorry, I had an emergency gall bladder operation, so I'm running a little behind..."

About 2 dozen responses to that flew through my mind, but he didn't seem like he'd appreciate my twisted sense of humor so I bit 'em back. Pretty near hurt myself doing it too.

March 02, 2017, 02:33 PM

dgshooter

Good on you. He probably heard it before anyway.

March 02, 2017, 02:37 PM

45 Cal

Probably a wise thing,you don't need any mistakes
with instruments down there

March 02, 2017, 02:54 PM

newtoSig765

That reminds me of a Doctor my girlfriend saw years ago. Dr. Payne.

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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H L Mencken

I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is.
-- JALLEN 10/18/18

March 02, 2017, 03:07 PM

Leemur

So what's up your ass today?

March 02, 2017, 03:09 PM

PHPaul

quote:
Originally posted by Leemur:
So what's up your ass today?

Nothin' but air at the moment!

I semi-seriously thought about looking for one of those wet-transfer kiddie tattoo things and tattooing "Welcome, Dr. Harmon" in the tramp-stamp position...

March 02, 2017, 04:30 PM

DaBigBR

It's not healthy to hold it in, you know...

March 02, 2017, 04:51 PM

ravens1775

See, I think he was teeing up a softball for you and you let him down. Gotta knock those out of the park.

March 02, 2017, 05:48 PM

PHPaul

quote:
Originally posted by DaBigBR:
It's not healthy to hold it in, you know...

Apparently technology has changed since my last one, no residual air/bloating after the procedure this time around. Last time was a fart circus...

March 02, 2017, 05:51 PM

PHPaul

quote:
Originally posted by ravens1775:
See, I think he was teeing up a softball for you and you let him down. Gotta knock those out of the park.

Having been an inveterate wiseass since childhood, and having thereby wedged my foot firmly in my mouth innumerable times, I've developed a pretty good sense of who's up for it and who isn't.

I decided it probably wasn't wise to risk pissing off the man who was about to shove 4 feet of garden hose up my ass...

March 02, 2017, 06:38 PM

arcwelder

quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by DaBigBR:
It's not healthy to hold it in, you know...

Apparently technology has changed since my last one, no residual air/bloating after the procedure this time around. Last time was a fart circus...

Everything is smaller, back in the day they needed sherpas to get the equipment up in there.

Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

March 02, 2017, 06:55 PM

SigSAC

quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Went in for a routine colonoscopy today.

At least you've got that behind you . . . .

March 02, 2017, 07:11 PM

sigmonkey

quote:
Originally posted by SigSAC:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Went in for a routine colonoscopy today.

At least you've got that behind you . . . .

And tomorrow's another routine day...

March 02, 2017, 07:11 PM

PHPaul

quote:
Originally posted by SigSAC:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Went in for a routine colonoscopy today.

At least you've got that behind you . . . .

Actually, it's a Good News/Bad News scenario. Good news is, the polyps were benign, bad news is that means I get to ride the silver pony every 5 years now.

March 02, 2017, 07:26 PM

dEX_RX

You're a better man than I. I can never seem to not take a shot at opportunities like that.

Edit: I've never had the procedure. Looking to stay that way for a while.

March 02, 2017, 07:43 PM

henryaz

I had my most recent last fall. I remember (just barely) saying to the anesthetist, as he injected the Propofol into the IV line, "that's not doing anyth..."

March 02, 2017, 07:45 PM

ulsterman

My Urologist has a sign "Never accept a glass of lemon aid from this doctor".

March 02, 2017, 08:36 PM

ravens1775

quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
I decided it probably wasn't wise to risk pissing off the man who was about to shove 4 feet of garden hose up my ass...

Ha. Fair enough. It was your ass on the line after all

March 02, 2017, 08:37 PM

Floyd D. Barber

quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Went in for a routine colonoscopy today. Schedule said "be here by 8:30 for check-in and prep, procedure scheduled for 9:30"

Well, I did my part, but the procedure didn't start until closer to 10:30. Doc came in to brief me and go over the forms and said "Sorry, I had an emergency gall bladder operation, so I'm running a little behind..."

About 2 dozen responses to that flew through my mind, but he didn't seem like he'd appreciate my twisted sense of humor so I bit 'em back. Pretty near hurt myself doing it too.

"You should try looking at it from my end"?

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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

March 02, 2017, 08:42 PM

OneWheelDrive

quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
"...... so I'm running a little behind..."

Yours or his?