I would have direct messaged you, but I missed your username.

I’m guessing you’re not the first member here to experience children using grandchildren as leverage over political beliefs. We’re here for you, and we’re good listeners if you’d like to continue the conversation.

My email is in my profile.

^^^ What he said!

Way too common (funny / not funny).

Before anyone goes off on a rant, this is still our daughter.

Thanks, but we are dealing with it.

I wish you the best Sir

There are plenty of stories about this happening all over social media, I think some people are reading this BS and then enacting it on their own families, brainwashed by people in their online peer groups.

Blue Bands, Shaved heads, hurting parents, or spouses through withholding grandkids, or sex, divorce.

Tucker Carlson said his mom told him he wasn't welcome at her house for Thanksgiving.

The amount of mind screwing these people got from the people on the left is unreal.

Thanksgiving dinner is gonna be “huge”.

It was me. I've been very upset, this is kind of where the rubber hits the road with me. I love my daughter, but I will not be manipulated. This may be a dick move, but if she keeps this shit up, I'm re-doing my will to put what I would have left her into a trust for my grandson. Thanks for the support. It's hard to talk to anyone about this, but I feel as if I know you all.

It was never my intent to “out” you. But I read your OP and for reasons it hit home. Hard.

Sadly, this has become too common.

quote:

Originally posted by Fredward:
It was me. I've been very upset, this is kind of where the rubber hits the road with me. I love my daughter, but I will not be manipulated. This may be a dick move, but if she keeps this shit up, I'm re-doing my will to put what I would have left her into a trust for my grandson. Thanks for the support. It's hard to talk to anyone about this, but I feel as if I know you all.

So, there are two of us. We also will not be maniuplated. Good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by ulsterman:

quote:

Originally posted by Fredward:
It was me. I've been very upset, this is kind of where the rubber hits the road with me. I love my daughter, but I will not be manipulated. This may be a dick move, but if she keeps this shit up, I'm re-doing my will to put what I would have left her into a trust for my grandson. Thanks for the support. It's hard to talk to anyone about this, but I feel as if I know you all.

So, there are two of us. We also will not be maniuplated. Good luck.

Make that 3 of us.

My, my, this is far more common than I ever knew. I guess it happened over and over again in history, but I thought we as a people were smarter than that these days.
Interestingly enough, I am a daughter with a son, and my mother once confronted me about ever withholding her grandson from her… I was shocked, tbh.
We definitely have different political opinions, but I never once considered using him as a pawn. She is a wonderful mother to me and a wonderful grandmother.
I set her straight, and we’ve never discussed it since. That was years ago.. I will say we do not get too far into politics because we are too polarized on that subject. But someone, somewhere, put a bug in her ear. My dad just shook his head (he leans my way, politically, though).

I’m so sorry, guys. I simply cannot imagine with holding love from my child, especially from those who love him so much and mean him no harm.

As far as I can tell, I don't think any of my more conservative friends/family have ever bailed on me due to major political disagreements.

On the other hand, I got a pretty decent softball teams worth of folks who haven't talked to me in many years because I didn't think Trump was Literally Hitler™, or because I wasn't a fan of Obama's policies. It's a fucking bummer.

quote:

Originally posted by Fredward:
I will not be manipulated.

My oldest (daughter) is a radical feminist liberal in chIraq and my story is the same.

Best of luck to us all. These are strange times we live in. Gone are the days when one's children naturally adopted and obeyed the life's choices and philosophies of the parents.

Now, it's "every man for himself." Maybe more apropos: "Dog eat dog."

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:

On the other hand, I got a pretty decent softball teams worth of folks who haven't talked to me in many years because I didn't think Trump was Literally Hitler™,

Well, he doesn't have the mustache or the Hugo Boss suits, so . . .

quote:

Originally posted by Fredward:
It was me. I've been very upset, this is kind of where the rubber hits the road with me. I love my daughter, but I will not be manipulated. This may be a dick move, but if she keeps this shit up, I'm re-doing my will to put what I would have left her into a trust for my grandson. Thanks for the support. It's hard to talk to anyone about this, but I feel as if I know you all.

It's not a dick move . You don't owe her anything . If she chooses to not act like family then why should you treat her as such ? Leaving everything to your grandson sounds like a great idea unless she poisons his mind later on down the road .

Oh, friends, it's so painful to hear of this. We have maybe 4-5 couples we know well in which the grandparents are not allowed to see the grandchildren. One couple lives in Australia; their son lives in Belgium. He travels maybe once a year to Australia, brings the kids, but only visits aunts, not his parents.
These are not domestic political arguments. In at least two cases, the daughter-in-law is responsible, and they are both foreign-born. They consider their culture superior to American (or Australian), even though in both cases the friends/grandparents are extremely well-educated and -traveled, and models of good parenthood.

And we've known these people for almsost 50 years. There is nothing conceivable in their behavior or attitudes toward their children that could justify it.
It is horribly painful for our friends.
I could go on, but won't.

I'm just thankful to God for giving us grandchildren, and a son- and daughter-in-law who have been wonderful spouses for our kids and parents to their own children. Long past are career ambitions, spousal arguments, etc. We now live to make the lives of our grandchildren better, and to provide to our children what we can to make that possible.

Fredward, it is not a dick move.

My niece wants to be a boy. During the visit for Christmas she will probably stay in a room and talk to nobody. That is her MO the last few visits.

My nephew is in the marching band for his university. He has no friends that I know of and plays video games in excess. High functioning autistic seems to be the case.

Their father is well-off from working in the IT industry. He seems to be an idiot savant of coding. It is possible that the children are affected by the genetics of my grandmother who was bi-polar and maybe with low schizophrenia.

Thinking it over, it is probable that I will leave my modest accumulation to my wife's Taiwanese nieces and nephews.

One should consider putting the resources where the most good seems possible.