I don't like to bitch about my job too much. Okay, I bitch about it a lot, just not here. I mean, it's security and for the most part it's not a bad gig, I get weekends off, it's at night and I'm a night person, and I have a chair, and electricity. It could be worse, I could have split days off, and be sitting in my own car watching a literal hole in the ground in Spanaway.

Just to give a brief overview, it's less about the security aspect, and more about access control for a warehouse. Yes, I'm supposed to do patrols, and yes I have cameras watching various parts of the facility, but when the place is open, that's secondary to me handing out bills of lading, checking in trucks, accepting freight, logging the hostlers in and out when they move empties to the offsite yard. I run the gate. If I'm not there, the gate doesn't move. On top of that, it's just not that safe to be trundling around out in the dark in my golf cart while trucks and goats are buzzing around. Not to mention, what's the point of doing an hourly patrol if every six minutes a hostler is back there? The day guards don't have to do these patrols because... that's right, because the facility is active during the day!

Y'all can probably see where this is going. The Yard Security Manager is upset that I don't log patrols at night during the week, it is explained to him that there simply isn't enough time to do patrols every hour, nor is it safe. Well, that's not an excuse, and if I don't start doing them I'll be removed from the site. Okay, guybro, you got it. I'll go do my hourly patrols, and when the Night Operations Manager fucks your asshole wide open with a shovel for ordering me to shut down his yard for twenty minutes every hour, don't say I didn't warn you.

Sounds like the Yard Security Manager is TSA material.

I have a car. Are they paying relocation to watch the hole in the ground in Spanaway? I am pretty good at emulating rigor mortis on the job that demands it.

Just don t get your coattail caught in the gears.

Does he also like, i.e., actually enjoy, having meetings? People who like having meetings should never be in charge of anything.

quote:

Originally posted by egregore:
Does he also like, i.e., actually enjoy, having meetings? People who like having meetings should never be in charge of anything.

Hell if I know, I never see the guy. He's not even really our boss, we're an outside company contracted to run their gate, because they know if they tried to get their own people to do it they'd have to spend a minimum of $18 an hour, and still have to hire someone to do the actual security.

I know this much though, as soon as he leaves, he shuts off his phone, even though part of his job is to be reachable at all times. It's real fun when something happens on a Friday night, and he flips out about it Monday morning when he turns his phone on at 0730, and demands to know why he wasn't informed, and why we went above his head to the General Manager.

1) We attempted to inform you, but you had your phone up your ass.

2) The General Manager does answer his phone, and wants shit to get done. If I call him with an issue, I know it's getting handled.

Malicious obedience....

Sho Nuff Boss... Whatever you say. Shut it all down and give all callers and questioners his phone number. When the place is locked up and he doesn't answer his phone just smile and continue on. Let him clean his own mess when he gets back

I like Lord Vaatic's response (why do I always think of a pickle when I see one of his posts?), but take it a step further.

When you need to lock the gate in order to make your rounds, post a sign on the gate instructing supplicants to call the boss's phone number in the event that they need to get in and there is nobody there to unlock the gate.

While making your rounds, be sure to check very carefully for any possibility of a security breach. Be thorough, no matter how long it takes.

quote:

Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
Malicious obedience....

Sho Nuff Boss... Whatever you say. Shut it all down and give all callers and questioners his phone number. When the place is locked up and he doesn't answer his phone just smile and continue on. Let him clean his own mess when he gets back

I'm a big fan of Malicious Compliance. It's of course not my automatic go-to mode. Last year one of the other guards was freaking out because they introduced wand points to the site. Wand points for those not in the know are essentially watch batteries glued to walls and fences and whatnot, and we go around with a device that looks like a dildo, touch tips and wait for it to vibrate. It logs the time and location, so that later they can look at the data and make sure we're doing our rounds. You're also supposed to mix up your route, they don't like it if you go 1-2-3-4, they want you to go 6-2-9-1, then 5-3-1-8, and so on. Anyhow, like I said, the other guard was freaking out because he thought it was a permanent thing, and there just wouldn't be enough time to do it, and what happens if a truck comes in and he has to cancel the patrol? Does he start over from the beginning when he does another one? He had a map of the yard out and he was explaining how he was going to do his patrols, like it was a military operation, and if we don't hit these wand points then bin Laden escapes and nukes DC.

I explained that these orders do not make sense, relax for now, I'll talk to the site lead in the morning. The reality is that this isn't permanent, or you misheard/misunderstood, or the client has made a mistake. And if they really want us to do this, then they're retarded, and you do the best you can, if they don't like it they can find another company to not do it, until they wise up, or run out of companies willing to take the contract. Turns out that guard did misunderstand the new orders, we were only doing the wand points over the holiday weekend. Monday night I roll in and the wand is gone.

This is different. This gentleman has a history of issuing orders that do not make sense, or are a violation of various contracts, like sending high value loads over to the offsite yard, where they cannot be watched by cameras. When it's explained to him that we cannot do this, or that doesn't make sense, or even question what the fuck, he says he doesn't care, and it needs to get done. The rumor is that his days are numbered, and the higher ups are not pleased with his performance or actions, but it's a little harder to shitcan someone in his position than some felon temp warehouse picker, and until they do send him packing he can do a lot of damage, like get me removed from the site for not following his retarded orders.

Honestly, he's probably not a bad dude, he just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up and get out of the way. He seems to think he has to orchestrate everything at all times, but then can't follow through because he's unreachable at 0300, or simply doesn't know enough about what he's trying to do. Could be a real cush gig, where he sits in his office building model airplanes until some Real Shit happens, but no. He's gotta get his hands on everything, and he ends up fucking it up because his fingers are made of dicks.

quote:

I'm a big fan of Malicious Compliance.

I have done that more than a few times in my own career, but it never had a name put to it before.

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He's gotta get his hands on everything, and he ends up fucking it up because his fingers are made of dicks.

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He's gotta get his hands on everything, and he ends up fucking it up because his fingers are made of dicks.

I gotta add that to my repertoire. Hope I can remember it when the opportunity arises.

This wouldn't happen to be a large facility where game electronics are assembled, would it?

Sounds veeeeeerrrrrrry familiar!

'Course that's been a number of years ago, but I've never seen such "Security Theater" in my life...

Being an outside security company I would assume there is some type of contract of what is to be expected.

Im sure they under bid the contract to get the job then attempt to overwork the employee.

quote:

Originally posted by dsmack:
This wouldn't happen to be a large facility where game electronics are assembled, would it?

Sounds veeeeeerrrrrrry familiar!

'Course that's been a number of years ago, but I've never seen such "Security Theater" in my life...

Nope, just a big ol' warehouse, filled with the things you buy every day.

quote:

Originally posted by gpbst3:
Being an outside security company I would assume there is some type of contract of what is to be expected.

Im sure they under bid the contract to get the job then attempt to overwork the employee.

It's funny you should mention that, the post orders are so far out of date it's hilarious. He got on me about not doing regular patrols months back, and again it was explained that it's not practical while the yard is active. He demanded to see the post orders. They make reference to manning a post that isn't there anymore, when this site was in another location. Essentially the orders tell me to be 3 miles away. It was suggested that maybe the post orders get rewritten, but yeah, no time for that.

I think he's afraid of the Lazy Security Guard image, not understanding that "being lazy" looks an awful lot like "waiting to do the shit you really pay me for", while "doing stuff constantly" gets in the way of me monitoring that gate that makes your company more money than God on a monthly basis. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a securitard.

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:

This is different. This gentleman has a history of issuing orders that do not make sense, or are a violation of various contracts, like sending high value loads over to the offsite yard, where they cannot be watched by cameras. When it's explained to him that we cannot do this, or that doesn't make sense, or even question what the fuck, he says he doesn't care, and it needs to get done.

This suggests any number of possibilities for getting him investigated let alone fired.

For some reason, managers go out of their way to make security jobs difficult. As a workaround, can you monitor the cameras and say you were actually patrolling those areas on your daily activity report? That way you only have to patrol areas not seen on camera?

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we go around with a device that looks like a dildo, touch tips and wait for it to vibrate.

Sounds like at least a minor improvement over the five pound Detex Watchclock we used to have to lug about (and maintain!), but that's about all. We had a few facilities where it was just impossible to vary the route, but it didn't stop them bugging us about it.
And then you'd get the one guy who'd scream through the route in half the time... just hitting the keys, not taking the time to actually LOOK around... so they decide, hey, if this guy can do the patrol in this time, so can the rest of you... so let's do it TWICE an hour. So it becomes all night running from key to key and not checking anything.

I feel your pain.

quote:

Originally posted by Orguss:
For some reason, managers go out of their way to make security jobs difficult. As a workaround, can you monitor the cameras and say you were actually patrolling those areas on your daily activity report? That way you only have to patrol areas not seen on camera?

Any bad guy worthy of the name has watched all the movies and TV shows, and knows how to avoid the camera's field of view.

quote:

Originally posted by MitchbSC:
Sounds like the Yard Security Manager is TSA material.

I have a car. Are they paying relocation to watch the hole in the ground in Spanaway? I am pretty good at emulating rigor mortis on the job that demands it.

Obviously, you haven't seen Spanaway.

I luv airsoft guy's posts. They always give me joy. Thank you.

quote:

Originally posted by cne32507:
I luv airsoft guy's posts. They always give me joy. Thank you.

Amen...but I do miss seeing his avatar though