Originally posted by YooperSigs:
Often, for me the school bus ride was the trip of terror. If you were 10 seconds late, the damn thing sped off and all the occupants ran to the back windows and flipped you off while laughing hysterically as they watched you choke on diesel fumes as you hopelessly chase it. If you were lucky and had lots of wind, you could run full speed over to the next block to attempt an intercept. If you failed, you got to go home to face your Mother. My hat was often the the focal point of a game called "keep away". Riders often puked on the trip, then others would join in. If you spotted your buddy in another seat, as soon as you stood to change seats the driver would stand on the brakes, throwing you to the nasty floor or onto your fellow riders, who would beat you for your poor choice of timing. Some smartass always thought it was cool to flip off the following patrol car, which resulted in your very own version of ADAM-12 and the flipper being dragged off the bus. Have a minor skirmish with the bus bully? The bus came to a skidding halt, the driver then booted (literally) both you and the bully off the bus, where he immediately resumed beating your ass. In winter, the windows immediately frosted over, giving the interior of the bus the appearance of a claustrophobic rolling chest freezer, occupied by forty other frozen victims. In summer, it was a moving microwave oven. The suspension of your bus was made of concrete, which transmitted every bump through the hard plastic seat and directly into your spine. Some asshole would throw something nasty out of a front window, where it would gain velocity and fly back into your window, impacting your face or hair. As I aged so did several sluts who lived on my bus route. Watching porn has its adherents, but watching awkward teenage sex taking place 6 feet from you somehow was not the same thing. I once witnessed a strange form of soccer involving a used sanitary napkin being kicked up and down the aisle of the bus. I finally just gave up on the bus experience and rode my bike to school. Being exposed to traffic was just safer. Drive a bus? Not for any amount of money!