I’m at my dad’s earlier today and he says my uncle is going to pickup Chinese food before he comes over later. My dad says he and my uncle normally get the same a thing, except my dad gets his without onions. Even though my dad can’t remember what they normally get, I figure I’ll make it simple and say I’ll have one of whatever they normally get.

I go home, come back five hours later looking forward to whatever the mystery meal will be and discover the mystery is there’s only one order for the three of us. Not a mistake and it’s not even the larger size. I tell my dad to go ahead and eat whatever he wants because I had already eaten at home. I really didn’t eat beforehand because I was looking forward to the Chinese food. My uncle has a reputation for being cheap, but this was next level.

Did the order not come with the obligatory 6 cartons of white rice?

One small carton of fried rice. No other rice. It really was one order of whatever it was. I looked in the bag when I got there and thought they had already eaten. I asked just in case and they said they hadn’t.

And only one fortune cookie?

someone who's not informed, or not thinking.

So if you were hungry again in an hour, you'll now be hungry in 20 minutes?

That’s not the worse example I’ve seen. How about a brother-in-law coming to dinner with his family bringing food that’s in one of those boxes big enough for only three fortune cookies for his mother.

How does half of it come without onions?

My dad was as baffled as I was and my uncle's response was my dad could just pick the onions out of his share.

Is he cheap enough to ask for a reduced price if he said no onions?

Your uncle needs to find a better Chinese take-out joint.

Not just cheap, but rude.

What a douche. I'd be pissed at myself if someone left my house (or an event where I was in charge of food) hungry.

My wife tends to underestimate how much food you need for a crowd because she doesn't think it through. I was a cook in the Army so I'm always calculating amounts of food needed for parties or large gatherings but she will go and buy ONE bagged salad to bring to a gathering of like 12-15 people and I'm always having to go and get more. A bagged salad kit to me is maybe 4 servings.

To me it's a far worse thing to not have enough food than have too much.

Has there been a dispute about money? A loan or wager or an inheritence?

None. It’s not his circumstances either, just cheap. He’ll bring a six pack and drink twelve.

Honestly, when my dad said my uncle was going to be picking up the food, I just automatically assumed my dad would be paying for it because my uncle has never picked up the tab.

As an Uncle, I've enjoyed this thread. Thanks Trapper. It's a good one.

My rule, as an uncle w/ my favorite local Chinese place:
Two can split one dinner w/ 2 egg rolls and maybe egg drop soup.
Three people would require two dinners and such.
If you don't have leftovers, you didn't order enough.

But my local place, there is no way one person can eat a dinner, and egg roll, and soup.
I'm to old to even try anymore.

Well, in the past I have made some rice at home, to make the Chinese food go a little further. I don’t mind a meal out of almost 100% ‘fried rice’.

This is more of a personal technique, I wouldn’t do it with guests involved.

I know a father of four who brings a two liter bottle of Pepsi to parties.

Not a bottle of wine , not a 12 pack of beer,
Not anything else.

The wealthiest guy at the party , brings something that only he will consume.

He's been doing it for 30 years. Why they bother to invite him is a mystery to me

He said “I got egg rolls too.” Three egg rolls, each the size of my thumb. The candy bar companies would call them the “Fun Size”. I thinking 5 loaves and 2 fish, but no miracle.

The whole time I was there all I could think about was how hungry I was. Seriously, I was sitting there mapping the routes in my head to the nearest restaurants and bars while trying to figure out how I could politely excuse myself to get some food.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
My wife tends to underestimate how much food you need for a crowd because she doesn't think it through. I was a cook in the Army so I'm always calculating amounts of food needed for parties or large gatherings but she will go and buy ONE bagged salad to bring to a gathering of like 12-15 people and I'm always having to go and get more. A bagged salad kit to me is maybe 4 servings.

To me it's a far worse thing to not have enough food than have too much.

We always cook more food that people can eat. Always. We want friends and family to go back for 2nds and 3rds if they want.

When we lived in CA, we had best friends, the wife simply was not a great cook (he didn't know shit about cooking either), and she also had the knack of cooking a meal low in quantity and quality. For example, canned corn would be the veggie one night, yet only heat up one 15oz can for six eaters. And we also were friends with another couple and the food was good, but the portions were really small, and no 2nds to fill up from the first meager portions. We learned early on to eat a big snack before heading to their homes for dinner.