As the forum knows, I am separated from my spouse.

Almost four years ago she left me over money issues associated with my long period of un- or under-employment.

We are still married. I get my and daughter-chan's medical insurance coverage through her employment with a major hospital chain.

Today, I got a letter from a medical provider who is owed about $1,000 and cannot get the insurance carrier to pay him. This has been a longstanding issue. I had repeatedly asked my spouse to figure this shit out, and despite assurances to the contrary, apparently she hasn't.

I'd sort it out myself, but because she is the primary insured, all Explanations of Benefits go to her. The carrier has steadfastly refused to send them to me.

I'm getting fucking tired of her behavior in this regard. I am equally tired of the insurance carrier's never ending game of "hide the pickle." The carrier and I will be going a few rounds Monday. I am not sure what to do with my spouse.

So, having dropped $4500 on new A/C, I am hand carrying this provider (who I respect in the highest way) a check for the balance owed, just over $1,000.

It feels like the world has decided to beat on me financially.

I guess its time to go back to working three jobs (my FT consulting gig, my small-time firearms business, and something else - grocery clerk maybe) like I did for 26 of the 29 years we've been married.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

Most doctors I know have forms to complete as to who is responsible for payment of the bill if the insurer fails to pay. This is typically a form that is signed at the initial visit. As a first step I would check with the physician's office to see why the insurance company has not paid.

I don't know if it helps, but I would write a letter to them and make it clear that you not being the policy holder and what not, means there is nothing you can do to sort out the "truth of the matter", and that under debt collection laws in most states, anyone being "collected" against, has the right to see the billing in order to answer the allegations.

Hate to see you continuing to suffer so much crap.

Personally, I would gnaw off a limb and go through life maimed, or die trying, than to be chained, imprisoned or otherwise held against my will in any situation.

Please keep receipts for any and all home and medical expenses you pay out of pocket, in case you have not been doing so during the separation.

There will come a time when the piper (you) will be paid.

Who incurred the cost with the medical provider? I'm assuming you or your daughter?

Went through something similar. Told her to include me out. Took her about 6 months, but she finally had me taken off the policy. Stress factor dealing with her? Zero.

No coverage for a bit, but am decently covered now.

What has happened with this situation? I hope you called the doctor's office, they can usually figure this stuff out. I have personal experience and deal with this sort of thing on a frequent basis.

who received the care is not as important as whose name is on the policy. If it is her coverage, and it covers you and your daughter, it ain't your problem. If you feel honor bound to pay the doc, then fine, but I can't believe there isa state that would allow the insurer to come after you. Tell your ex to pay up and pound sand. Somebody cannot be passive-aggressive toward you if you simply refuse to play their game.

It is if he incurred the expense for his care - or it is a portion of his obligation toward his daughters care.

quote:

Originally posted by LtJL:
who received the care is not as important as whose name is on the policy. If it is her coverage, and it covers you and your daughter, it ain't your problem.

Every doctor I've seen in the last 10 years has their patient sign a form that basically acknowledges the patient is responsible for the charges even if they are not paid by insurance. One doctor includes that form the first visit each year.

I think the only exception is in network HMO coverage (and perhaps some PPO networds). Since he's getting bills, it does not sound like he's in a HMO.

At best, check the statement of coverage to ensure that the doctor billed according to the agreed rates with the insurance carrier.

Sig 2340 - if you haven't already paid this, consider talking with the doctor's office and explaining the situation. Perhaps they will reduce the charges. They can bear the loss better than you can.

4 years? If you ain't back together by now, I'd say it's time to break off the ball-n-chain.

Consequences be damned, free yourself man.

Free yourself.

Well, I descend into Dante's 98th level of Hell.

My adult daughter-chan just laid one on me that I am okay, sort of, with, but nonetheless, FUCK!

FUCK!

FUCK!

FUCK!

I never thought I'd say this, but I should have taken that trip to Salisbury in 1977 or the other offer in 1984.

Not one thing is working out as I'd strived for all my adult life.

Why the fuck did I bother?

Free you mind and your ass will follow.