I basically have one couple I consider my friends. Frank and I have been buds for 30 years, since before I retired from the Navy.

Frank was a NYC/NJ metro area police officer for 25 years, retired, moved to Maine and became a DOD Guard Supervisor until he retired. I met him when I got stationed up here in 1988 on my retirement tour. Been the best of friends ever since.

Well, Frank had a tough life as a cop and his injuries caught up to him, especially over the last 10 years or so. Both knees, one shoulder and one hip replacement among other things, along with late onset diabetes just to put a little icing on the cake. Second knee replacement on one side never did heal properly and they've been chasing symptoms and side effects ever since.

At the moment, he's in the hospital, has had a feeding tube surgically emplaced, has been told he'll eat through that for the rest of his life. He's also been told there's nothing more they can do for his legs and the best he can hope for is a walker, and be prepared for a wheel chair sooner rather than later.

This for a guy that has been active all his life, holds a Coast Guard 100 Ton Captain's license, and has a trimaran in a cradle in his front yard (they live on the water). It's pretty much destroyed him and it's highly likely that he's just lost the will to live. We suspect he's only hanging on for the sake of his wife. He tells the Docs he needs to get home to take care of Pat.

Pat is in a little better shape than he is, but had a stroke the first of the year and has mobility issues of her own.

I went over today and took some measurements and ordered the lumber to build a ramp so Pat can use a cart to wheel groceries into the house and won't have to negotiate the steps with her cane (on good days) or her walker. She was so worn out from dealing the doctors, nursing homes, insurance and all the other crap that goes with serious illness that she hadn't been shopping for days and there was virtually nothing in the house to eat. I made her write me up a list and went shopping for her and ran a few other errands to tide her over.

Fortunately, they have excellent health insurance and a very tidy retirement income so money is not an issue, but they have no family nearer than New Jersey so help IS an issue. I told her I'm only a phone call away, any time of day or night.

Nothing anyone here can or needs to do of course, just needed to vent. If you can spare a good thought (or prayer if you're so inclined) for Frank and Pat, that'd be appreciated.

You are a good friend.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
You are a good friend.

Thank you. If the situation were reversed, they'd do the same. Can't say that about many people I know.

(Except my imaginary friends here, of course...)

That is rough. It's difficult to plan out your end of life.

No more than 6 months from deciding I may not be working anymore and not even 60 yet, my left knee started not being able to move. And I'm going on an extended vacation in less than 11 days with lots of luggage.

Man that's rough.

Though much is taken, much abides.
And though we are not now that strength
which in old days moved heaven and earth,
that which we are, we are.
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
made weak by time and fate, but strong in will.
To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Best wishes to you and your friends.

They're in my prayers.

I wish your friends the best.

And if you'll allow a young punk to be proud of you, I am. Humanity remains in this world.

They are in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless you for your kindness.

Sorry to hear about your friends. It is good of you to help.
Just heard today, a guy who I used to be a lot closer to, died.
It creeps up on you and then seems to explode when all the issues hit you at once.

Bless you PHPaul you are a good man. May everyone have a friend like you.

Prayers up for Pat and Frank...they are blessed to have you as a friend...and a good friend you are PHPaul ...may God bless you all.

Prayers sent for your friends and for you as well. You are a good man.

You are indeed a great friend.

You mentioned that money is not a problem. Could a service like this make them more comfortable?

http://advantagehomecaremaine....ervices-at-a-glance/

Prayers and Best Wishes.

quote:

Though much is taken, much abides.
And though we are not now that strength
which in old days moved heaven and earth,
that which we are, we are.
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
made weak by time and fate, but strong in will.
To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

I couldn't get through that without shedding a tear. At age 73, my wife and I are just starting to see our bodies not going where and the way we want them to.
Old friends are most dear at this age, but the pain of loss or impending loss is very hard.

quote:

Originally posted by Loaded Round:

You mentioned that money is not a problem. Could a service like this make them more comfortable?

http://advantagehomecaremaine....ervices-at-a-glance/

Prayers and Best Wishes.

Out of area for us, unfortunately.

Some sort of glitch in the insurance has prevented them from rehab in a nursing home setting, Pat drove up to bring Frank home today. They haven't returned yet.

I just don't see how Pat is gonna manage, she's got issues of her own. I expect a call any time now to go over and help get Frank into the house. I'll discuss home care options when they get a chance to recover a little.

Bless you and your freinds PHPaul. They are indeed lucky to have you as a friend. Prayers lifted up for them and you. It's a rough row to hoe being in that situation. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in helping them.

I know you said theyu don't need much that we can offer but if that changes please let us know.

So saddening. You are such a great friend. Prayers are sent for ALL NVOLVED.