I'll admit this right up front...as a general rule I don't like cats. I'm allergic, I don't care for their attitudes, I don't like society's acceptance of their roaming free to kill birds and other wildlife and piss on other people's porches while simultaneously legislating that my dog has to stay locked up, and I really don't like that they piss and shit in the house. I realize that there are exceptions to these things and there have been some cats that I got along with, but mostly I'm just a dog person.

The problem I have now is my mother-in-law. She's in her early 70s and for some reason has started collecting cats. They have always had one cat, but last year she picked up a couple more strays, and my SIL also dumps her cat on them for extended periods, so now there's a total of four. She's never been a great housekeeper, or particularly good about changing the litterbox, but she got away with it for the most part with one cat. With four, the place is absolutely overrun. They have a house in Florida and another up here, and as soon as you walk in the door of either one the smell hits you right in the face. They're trying to sell the Florida house and are having a hard time doing it. They've been blaming the realtor, but have actually gotten feedback from buyers that the house smells like cat piss. It's gotten so bad that last week she got in my car with a cloth bag that apparently the cats had pissed on and my eyes immediately started watering. I don't know if she's just so used to it that she doesn't smell it, but it's so bad now that it follows her around, and it's absolutely disgusting.

We spent the last two weeks travelling in Wyoming with them (separate vehicles), and my brother-in-law (who lives next door to their Indiana house) was supposed to be watching the cats and their dog while we were gone. While we were gone my oldest son (who had stayed home to work) called me and told me that my BIL had asked him if he had seen the cats, since he hadn't seen three of them in several days. My son said he hadn't, but then found what he thought was one of them torn apart in a field behind the house...said it looked like a coyote got it. I was not upset at all by this, and was really hoping that the same fate hate befallen all three, as it would have been a perfect solution to the problem. Unfortunately that was not the case.

We got home a day earlier than the in-laws and when we went over to check on their house we found shit all over the place, and at least a few of the cats were still there. Apparently my BIL not only didn't see the cats, but also failed to regularly change the litter box while we were gone, and they pissed and shit all over the house. I walked out immediately after seeing the moldy pile of shit and puke on the bed spread, but apparently it went far beyond that. While my kids and I were busy unpacking and cleaning up our stuff from camping, my wife and her uncle spent all morning (after driving 20 hours and getting home at 4am) cleaning up my in-law's house.

This is a problem. Yes, her brother failed to do his part which made the situation worse, but even under normal circumstances it's bad. I did verbally suggest going over there with a shotgun this morning and permanently solving the cat problem before her parents got home, but obviously I can't actually do that. I don't understand why her mom is amassing animals that she clearly is incapable of caring for, or how to broach the subject with her without pissing her off. She's already mad about the obviously accurate feedback from the realtor, and if I bring it up she's just going to get pissed at me too. I wouldn't care, but it'll stress my wife out and I don't want to do that. IMO we should have just left the shit all over the house for her to find when she got home as a wake-up call, but at this point I'm not sure if she would have even noticed.

Anybody else here ever deal with this? Is the crazy cat woman phenomenon a mental issue? It's definitely some kind of thing, because I've seen it multiple times at work to a far greater degree than what my mother-in-law is doing (at least for now). How does one solve these kinds of situations, or at least prevent them from getting worse?

I let Nastassja Kinski into my house back in 1982.

Didn't turn out well.

quote:

Originally posted by RichardC:

I let Nastassja Kinski into my house back in 1982.

She was a copy cat (see what I did there?). Simone Simon was the real cat lady, forty years earlier.

Let them live in piss and shit


Not my cats, not my problem

Simone Simon s pool scene had me holding my

Breath.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/flo...-dogs-hoarding-house

"The "worst animal hoarding case" a Florida sheriff has ever seen is now expanding as more animals are being recovered.

Some of the rescued animals already have been reunited with owners who said they’d given up hope of ever seeing them again.

Gail Giustino, a 77-year-old mail carrier, was arrested July 20 after authorities found more than 100 animals held in feces-filled cages in her Stuart home. She’d been "collecting cats" she found along her mail route, Martin County Sheriff John Budensiek said.
..."

quote:

Originally posted by dsiets:
https://www.foxnews.com/us/flo...-dogs-hoarding-house

"The "worst animal hoarding case" a Florida sheriff has ever seen is now expanding as more animals are being recovered.

Some of the rescued animals already have been reunited with owners who said they’d given up hope of ever seeing them again.

Gail Giustino, a 77-year-old mail carrier, was arrested July 20 after authorities found more than 100 animals held in feces-filled cages in her Stuart home. She’d been "collecting cats" she found along her mail route, Martin County Sheriff John Budensiek said.
..."

This isn't quite that bad. Yet. The cats aren't caged up, and are happily free to poop wherever they want. But if Florida mail lady is still collecting cats, I know where she can get four more!

quote:

Originally posted by 92fstech:
I did verbally suggest going over there with a shotgun this morning and permanently solving the cat problem before her parents got home, but obviously I can't actually do that.

Don't let me see this from you again in this forum, and that goes for everyone here. I will not tolerate this kind of thing here.

Animals dependent upon humans, and who are not properly trained and kept attentively and responsibly, are not at fault for natural behaviors when they are confined. The responsibility and fault lies with their human keepers. If you want to go waving a shotgun, do it at those two-legged animals who fail to do the things necessary when dealing with innocent, dumb animals, who never asked to be placed in their position.

It's been quite a while since I've had to address this kind of thing here, and this is a good reminder for all members. I will not tolerate such talk.

Point taken, my apologies. And as I stated above, I would never actually do that.

I understand your frustration, but the fault is not with the animals.

Agreed. I'm sure they would be fine with proper attention and care. The really sad thing is that my wife had actually found someone to take two of them a couple of months ago, but my MIL refused to part with them .

quote:

I'll admit this right up front...as a general rule I don't like cats.

Being a change in her behavior, perhaps this cat acquisition habit is a symptom of a cognitive or psychological problem.

I readily admit that I would gather a large pack of rescue dogs if I had the resources. But I know I don't, so all I do is window shop the rescues online. Were I to start bringing them home, it would indicate I'd lost my rational thinking.

Any possibility that animal control and/or an animal rescue group could be invited to check out her home with the goal of rehoming the cats? Not sure how you accomplish that if she refuses.

quote:

Originally posted by tsmccull:
Any possibility that animal control and/or an animal rescue group could be invited to check out her home with the goal of rehoming the cats? Not sure how you accomplish that if she refuses.

It's not that bad yet. Believe me, I've seen plenty of those situations at work, I'm good buddies with the county animal control guy, and I know what it takes to get Animal Control involved. It's gotta be really bad...like what dseits linked above. The description of what we found in my OP was not normal...that was after two weeks of my lazy BIL "watching" them. She doesn't let it get that bad when she's home, but it's still clearly too much, and the smell of piss is ever-present. At this point getting her to do anything about it would have to be voluntary, and she's already declined my wife's offer to find good homes for them.

The real question is:

What does one do with a relationship where a friend's or family member's behavior(s) create more stress and frustration than I want to deal with to continue the relationship, as well as the entailment with other people that are willing to continue that relationship?

If the MIL can be talked into it, build a "catio" onto her house so the cats can get safely outside. The problem with this is that she might look around and say, "I have room for more cats."

quote:

Originally posted by 92fstech:
Agreed. I'm sure they would be fine with proper attention and care. The really sad thing is that my wife had actually found someone to take two of them a couple of months ago, but my MIL refused to part with them .

Look into a couple of automatic cat litter boxes, at least it would clean the cat excrement up so the cats would continue to go in the box.

Friend has that and swears by them.

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Se...supplies/17602464011



As to dealing with it, I think that's it, you just have to let her side of the family deal with it, I'm sure your wife and BIL are not happy with it either.

Maybe you can get someone from a shelter to convince her that she's not treating the cats right, maybe cut it down to two....

^ that's actually a great idea, thanks for that! They're headed home to Florida tomorrow with the cats, but we may just buy her one of those when she gets back.