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Inconsiderate SIL and her kids

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October 10, 2024, 11:17 AM
92fstech
Inconsiderate SIL and her kids
So I'm working nights this week, covering for a guy who's on vacation. I got home at 6AM and went to bed, only to get woken up at 10:30 by loud noises and a kid whining. My kids all know better, and my youngest is 9, so that doesn't happen around here. I never did well getting back to sleep once I was woken up during the day, even when I was regularly on night shift. Out of cycle like I am now, forget about it.

I ended up getting up to find out that my SIL dropped her one year-old off with my wife to go to some mom's group, and he doesn't like the nursery so it was easier to leave him here. He's honestly not a bad little kid, but he's one, so he makes noise. Her five year-old is a Hellian. 20 minutes after the little one woke me up, she showed up to pick him up with the 5 y/o, and that one started ringing the door bell and then threw a giant tantrum in the living room when they told him to stop, which definitely would have woken me up had I still been asleep. In hindsight, it's probably good that I had a few minutes to compose myself because if I'd been woken up by that my response would not have been good for family harmony.

I get it. Having kids can be taxing. We have four, and when they were little we had no family in the area so we never had the option of just dumping them on people when we wanted to go do something. We had a few friends who would help now and then, but it was always pre-arranged and only on special occasions. I'm perfectly happy to help them out when they need it, but leaving your "work from home job" for a "mental health break", to go participate in an optional activity that provides childcare, on a day when I need to sleep...you'd think the women could have decided that maybe this is a week that he could endure the nursery?

I've got an extra detail today, so I'm now going into a 15 hour overnight shift on 4.5 hours of sleep after being up from 9am-6am yesterday, all because other people can't handle their own kids Mad.
October 10, 2024, 11:30 AM
Nick42
Daycares don't accept disruptive kids. Why should you, in your own house? Inconsiderate people who are "users" are not your friends, and never will be. Lay down your house rule, and the consequences of breaking that rule. After getting a motel room for a few days, just to get some sleep, your wife will get in line.


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Common sense is no longer simply uncommon. It is rare these days.
October 10, 2024, 11:48 AM
BigSwede
Eff that. Someone would have gotten their feelings hurt

My wife works nights, 3 12's. She usually will only sleep 4-5 hours, a lot of times she stays up to do things with me, the kids, friends, Dr's appointments etc. She is stubborn and won't protect her sleep like I would. She is very tired for those days and a couple after. She often says " I'd like to see you do this" I say I wouldn't, I'd get my 7-8 hours one way or another

We have a couple of rooms down in the basement that are pretty much sound proof. That's where I'd be with some white noise or rain sounds



October 10, 2024, 12:52 PM
k5blazer
When we were little kids my uncle worked nights on the railroad. When we would go to visit my cousins woe unto any one who made loud noises and disturbed his sleep. Punishment was handed out swiftly and to everyone in the room. It was known that everyone had to quiet. Tough to do but we knew any adult could deal out the punishment. Times have changed.
October 10, 2024, 01:01 PM
92fstech
quote:
We have a couple of rooms down in the basement that are pretty much sound proof. That's where I'd be with some white noise or rain sounds


I have a noise machine and it works to cover noises from normal household activities, but it doesn't work for screeching. When I was working nights I would have loved a basement room with no windows. Unfortunately, my basement is not the sort of place where you'd want to sleep.

I realize I could have thrown a fit, but at this point it's done and I'd have basically been behaving like an older version of the five year-old, made everybody else mad, and accomplished no meaningful change. I wish my wife had told her no, but she did it out of a desire to be helpful and not with any intent of malice towards me. She's too nice and has a hard time telling people no...I get it.

It's my last night on nights, so I'll just bitch about it to you guys, suck it up, and try to stay awake Frown.
October 10, 2024, 01:57 PM
CoolRich59
quote:
Originally posted by Nick42:
Inconsiderate people who are "users" are not your friends, and never will be. Lay down your house rule, ...

This is my wife's brother and his wife to a "T".

Back in the early 2000s, her brother and his wife call and ask if they could leave their kids with us while they went to a local store. You know, because it'd be a lot easier and faster to get in and get out without having to lug three young kids along. We said "No problem", figuring they'd be back to pick up their kids in an hour or so.

Fast forward 4 hours. No sign of them.

My wife's thinking that maybe they had an accident or some kind of emergency. She gets a hold of her brother and he tells her that, since he and the wife had the opportunity, they decided to go to the mall (30 minutes away) instead of the local store. My wife was understanding, but I was pissed - especially since they never bothered to call and ask if it was OK, or even let us know. They finally show up a couple of hours later and - I kid you not - asked "What's for dinner?". Mad

I was not a fan of her brother before this, and that was the last straw for me. I told my wife that the next time her brother called, I didn't care what the ask was, the answer was "No".


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“One of the common failings among honorable people is a failure to appreciate how thoroughly dishonorable some other people can be, and how dangerous it is to trust them.” – Thomas Sowell
October 10, 2024, 03:05 PM
Gustofer
quote:
Originally posted by k5blazer:
When we were little kids my uncle worked nights on the railroad. When we would go to visit my cousins woe unto any one who made loud noises and disturbed his sleep. Punishment was handed out swiftly and to everyone in the room. It was known that everyone had to quiet. Tough to do but we knew any adult could deal out the punishment. Times have changed.

Back when children were seen and not heard. Unfortunately, nowadays parents are less concerned about raising and disciplining children and more concerned with coddling and befriending them.


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"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
October 10, 2024, 03:11 PM
ZSMICHAEL
I still recall the birthday party we had at the bowling alley when my daughter turned five. All the mommies left and came back hours after the party ended. It was great fun chasing the little demons around the bowing alley. The guy who worked there cautioned the kids about sticking their heads in the ball return and bouncing the ball down the alley. Of course the kids did both,
October 10, 2024, 04:14 PM
RichardC
I'm sorry you're woke ...


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October 10, 2024, 04:31 PM
92fstech
quote:
Originally posted by RichardC:
I'm sorry you're woke ...


Lol me too...it's never a good thing to be by any definition! Glad to see you posting today, I assume you came through the weather ok?
October 11, 2024, 05:29 AM
RichardC
Nicely, thank you.


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October 21, 2024, 09:36 PM
bubbatime
“I worked a 16 hour shift and then only received 4 hours of sleep because your disruptive kids were loud and noisy and woke me up. They will not be allowed in my house again while I am sleeping.”

Send that to sister. Your welcome.


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Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow