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Oh where, oh where can it be...

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January 15, 2018, 10:46 PM
rburg
Oh where, oh where can it be...
Wasn't there an old joke about being cremated and turned into a feminine hygiene product and run through one more time? For old times sake?

Never mind. I wanted the cremation to deter gawkers or those who wanted to be sure I was really dead. At one time I wanted to be taken to Moab and dumped out in Hells Revenge. I'm thinking I'll end up in a dump someplace after they dump the shoe box into the garbage can.

The most recent instructions were "just dispose of the body". There's a catch bason out back, they could just toss me there with a bag of lime and some high test gasoline. I'd be gone in no time.

Wasn't there a joke about an Irishman who provided a bottle of whisky for his friends to drink at his grave. So his buddies agreed, but decided to enjoy the bottle before running it out on his grave.


Unhappy ammo seeker
January 16, 2018, 01:11 PM
Elk Hunter
quote:
Originally posted by DaBigBR:
I'm about the same except I'd prefer my cremains be thrown in the nearest trash. I'm not in there at that point, so no reason to keep them. Use the savings on an expensive box and funeral for a party.


A friend and co-worker and I were discussing what should be done with our remains. I said I wanted to be cremated and my ashes spread on a specific spot up in the high country where the Clearwater River originates.

He thought that was a pretty good idea, but was concerned about costs.

Him being a navy vet, I suggested that maybe he would like the economy burial at sea. When I told him that it was easy. All his wife had to do was dump his ashes in the toilet and pull the handle.

He about wet his pants, called his wife and told her, and she about wet hers laughing.


Elk

There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville

FBHO!!!



The Idaho Elk Hunter
January 16, 2018, 04:56 PM
jehzsa
Does anybody know if dumping human ashes down a Waste Kang! will void the warranty?

My wife wants to know.


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Knowing more by accident than on purpose.
January 28, 2018, 10:25 PM
Fredward
Put my ugly dead ass in a garbage bag and drag me to the curb on trash day. If you need a ceremony, an open bar for all comers will do.
January 29, 2018, 05:18 AM
PHPaul
My burial plans involve a ham bone and some stray dogs...

Actually, my instructions are "Do what pleases you, but I'd be happy with no funeral, dispose of the remains in the cheapest way possible, if that involves ashes spread them behind the barn where they'll do some good."




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
January 29, 2018, 05:39 AM
jehzsa
We think alike, PHPaul.

Fredward! Smile
And one full glass, untouched by everyone, resting on a table, in front of an empty chair.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jehzsa,


***************************
Knowing more by accident than on purpose.
January 29, 2018, 06:28 AM
Skins2881
quote:
Originally posted by jehzsa:
Does anybody know if dumping human ashes down a Waste Kang! will void the warranty?

My wife wants to know.


I have a friend who's girlfriend emptied the fireplace ashes in their non-Waste King disposal. It didn't end so well.



Jesse

Sic Semper Tyrannis
January 29, 2018, 06:42 AM
jehzsa
Crap!

Did he try Liquid Plummer?


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Knowing more by accident than on purpose.
January 30, 2018, 11:12 AM
NK402
This is starting to remind me of the coffee can scene in The Big Lebowski.
February 01, 2018, 12:07 PM
bendable
for my ashes


mom was buried in a folgers 3 lb. coffee can





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first