A few years ago what I thought was a great friend of 32 years needed some cabinets made in a little apartment he converted in his shop that he rents out to college kids or who ever. I built this small kitchen and a bath vanity, I had $518 dollars in materials and 28 hours of labor, when I was finished he said how much do I owe you? I showed him the receipts and how many hours in the project and he was completely happy and so was his wife. only charged time and materials and the invoice came to $2192 dollars. Doing a buddy a favor at that time I asked him if he would just be interested in doing a trade for a security system for a house I planned on building and he was eager to take that deal, no money at the time out of his pocket.

Few years went by and we haven't built the house yet, but the wife wanted a couple of security cameras installed with our current system because there have been a couple of break ins around the neighborhood, I texted my so called friend and said that I was interested in getting some cameras put in and reminded him of the trade deal we made and said I would just like to apply that to the set up, the first thing that he said was I don't have any cameras and they are real expensive but he did have a used dvr player I could have and he would help me run the wires if I found some cameras. WTF ?? You are a security salesmen at one of the biggest local electrical outfits and don't have cameras? and you do this every day? security business is booming here in Oregon because of the new pot laws and he has told me about some of the large system he has done and the ton of money there are making.


I texted him back and said I didn't think I was getting a fair deal and reminded him of the invoice numbers, I also asked him what do cameras cost and what would the labor be to have one of his electricians hook it up. I could easily do it myself but that's not the point. That was 60 days ago without any reply, I know he read my text as he started to reply to it and the text says read. There has been nothing but silence like he fell off the face of the earth. I know he is not broke because a week later he went to Bandon dunes golf resort with his son and played 4 rounds of golf that's a minimum of 800 bucks. his wife has posted on face book about a recent vacation they took as well.


I have golfed and fished with this guy countless times for 32 years, went to school from first grade on with his wife, and we have been texting each other 2 to times a week for a few years now about the weekend plans. b.s. e.t.c. considered him to be one of my best friends and just like that, it's over for a few hundred dollars and him taking care of his end of the deal. I called him but he wont pick up the phone it just goes to his machine. considered going to his house and try and talk to him but that just seems so awkward and confrontational.


I talked to a couple of friends about this over breakfast and one said I should just send him an invoice if he isnt going live up to his end of the deal. Wife says just forget about it and move on don't have any contact with him he knows what he did was wrong and has no plans of doing the right thing.


We had allot of good laughs together and some epic fishing trips but after this I just don't think we could continue like nothing happenend. pretty sad when you think you know someone and this happens.


what should I do? My thoughts right now are to wait another month at 90 days and send him a invoice with a letter. this really sucks like a gut punch.

I wouldn't wait a month. I would talk to him face to face. Remind him of the deal you made, show him the invoice you gave him at the time and let him decide either he do right by you or pay the invoice.

I had a similar friend from high school. Back then he would call me up at 3 am because he was stuck out on the road with no money and gas and I would come and help him.

Adulthood came and for about 3 years, I did his taxes for him on Turbo Tax. Fourth year, I said I was going to charge him to help defray my cost on the tax program, after that, he said he went to a tax professional and paid them. So if it was for free, he was happy to use my services but if I was going to charge him, he was going to go to a professional.

Then his wife would ask me to look over some contract. I asked did you even look at it first? No. Then I'm going to have to charge you for my time. They said no.

I dropped him as a "friend" eventually.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
I wouldn't wait a month. I would talk to him face to face. Remind him of the deal you made, show him the invoice you gave him at the time and let him decide either he do right by you or pay the invoice.

After that ^^^^^ I’d never ever allow him in my house to do any work. No telling what he’d screw up.

We’re done. Over. Finished. It’s too late.

Then have your attorney send him a letter demanding he follow your agreement, certified mail return receipt. Maybe his wife will open it up and then kick his ass. It’d be worth whatever it costs.

If you have a signed agreement can you attach a lien to the property?


After that, don’t let it consume you. Move on. Live in peace.

Good luck to you.

I’m sad that he did this to you. I hate being disappointed by people I placed my trust in and cared for. It feels like betrayal.

If it’s not a financial burden to you, then I’d agree with your wife.

I would just send the invoice over. If you think that the friendship won't recover just rip off the bandaid.

I would not let it go. If he will do it to a friend, he will do it to anybody that gives him a chance.

I'd send your invoice to him for the cabinet/bathroom work with the following note attached...

"Hey man...I know we agreed to "swap" your security goods and services for this, but it's taking us longer than expected to build our new house and rather than keep you in limbo with installing the security system for us as we agreed, let's just settle up on this now and when you install our security system in the new home, we'll settle with you. Let's get a beer!"

You'll know EXACTLY where you stand when you get his response or non-response...

“Wife says just forget about it and move on don't have any contact with him he knows what he did was wrong and has no plans of doing the right thing.”

I agree with your wife. Life’s too short to waste any more time trying to salvage this relationship.

quote:

Originally posted by erj_pilot:
I'd send your invoice to him for the cabinet/bathroom work with the following note attached...

"Hey man...I know we agreed to "swap" your security goods and services for this, but it's taking us longer than expected to build our new house and rather than keep you in limbo with installing the security system for us as we agreed, let's just settle up on this now and when you install our security system in the new home, we'll settle with you. Let's get a beer!"

You'll know EXACTLY where you stand when you get his response or non-response...

^^ THIS ^^

quote:

Originally posted by CoolRich59:
“Wife says just forget about it and move on don't have any contact with him he knows what he did was wrong and has no plans of doing the right thing.”

I agree with your wife. Life’s too short to waste any more time trying to salvage this relationship.

Relationship is over. Might as well pursue the money now, with maximum vigor and effort.

What an asshole.

Damage is done. I agree with your wife, it's sad but you're never going to look at him the same again, even if he shows up tomorrow to do it.

I would do 2 things: send him an invoice for what you'd charge anyone else, and never reach out to him again. You already know he will never pay it, but on the bright side you've learned who's a friend and who isn't, and word gets around.

quote:

Originally posted by erj_pilot:
I'd send your invoice to him for the cabinet/bathroom work with the following note attached...

"Hey man...I know we agreed to "swap" your security goods and services for this, but it's taking us longer than expected to build our new house and rather than keep you in limbo with installing the security system for us as we agreed, let's just settle up on this now and when you install our security system in the new home, we'll settle with you. Let's get a beer!"

You'll know EXACTLY where you stand when you get his response or non-response...

This ^^^^^

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:

quote:

Originally posted by erj_pilot:
I'd send your invoice to him for the cabinet/bathroom work with the following note attached...

"Hey man...I know we agreed to "swap" your security goods and services for this, but it's taking us longer than expected to build our new house and rather than keep you in limbo with installing the security system for us as we agreed, let's just settle up on this now and when you install our security system in the new home, we'll settle with you. Let's get a beer!"

You'll know EXACTLY where you stand when you get his response or non-response...

This ^^^^^

Was going to join your wife's side but maybe try this first.

Yeah, swapping cabinets for a later return didn't work for me either. I quoted a custom commercial trash can enclosure for a bagel shop I frequented and offered to swap for bagels. The owner jumped on it. After about a month of bagels and coffee I started getting the stink-eye; after 3 months the owner mentioned she was tired of my free loading.

I agree with your wife. I know you are disappointed in your friend but just move on. Offering to swap for a future payment (a couple of years went by) was a fatal mistake, as you now realize.

A wise man once said, "You want loyalty, buy a dog."
Mike

quote:

Originally posted by OMCHamlin:
Nothing good will come from pursuing this. Write it off as a bad debt and consider it a life lesson and cut ties with this dirtbag. The cutting ties will at least keep him from bugging you to borrow stuff or have you do work for him.

Like loaning a douche acquaintance $20, knowing he will spend the rest of his days avoiding you in order to not have to pay you back. Money well spent... Your's is just more expensive.

I agree with this. Unless you had written agreement at the time, and still have it, consider it a loss. move on and cut this douchebag out of your life completely.

Always take cash in hand, that was your mistake.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Always take cash in hand, that was your mistake.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

Send him a letter of intent.

.

Call the guy's wife, she was in on the original deal...

If he isn't man enough to keep his word, ask her to nag him into doing it.