Good lord, what is it with some people who just can't get to the point? Anyone else have to deal with that? My daughter is a prime example of someone who will do a 20 minute non stop, leave no opening for someone else to say something, monologue that should take not more than thirty seconds. I don't put up with it anymore unlike my wife who thinks it is rude to interrupt someone speaking. Do people that do this just like to hear themselves, have a need for the attention, or what?

She gets upset with me because I just want to hear the meat and then I respond and then if she does not like my response I get the "well you did not want to hear all my reasons, etc. Sometimes It gets so bad that I need to talk to my wife and I can't get a word in edgewise so I just interrupt and if she objects I say "sorry but I need to speak to your mom now".

End of rant LOL.

I call this "VERBAL VOMITING". It's not a conversation, it's a person just shitting words out their mouths.

I have a couple of responses

(1) "Get to the point" followed shortly thereafter with "You have 30 seconds left". Then I walk away.

(2) Skip to walk away without saying a word. IE, turn your back and walk away.

(3) Drop everything you are doing and get uncomfortably close to the person. Like sit right next to them and get 3 inches from their face. Because that is what they are doing with words by non-stop talking and not having the courtesy of engaging in a real 'conversation'.

Growing up in my family, it was considered tantamount to sacrilege to ever interrupt someone. To the point where my little sister would angrily snap at me for daring to interrupt one of her monologues.

My wife's family is the opposite. They all speak over each other constantly and if you want to get a word in, you had best just jump in the fracas and start speaking over them as well, because if you wait for your turn, it ain't coming. It honestly stresses me out and I have a very low threshold for sustained interaction with them. Great people, but I absolutely hate being talked over, and I can't keep track of five or more people talking all at once.

My wife tends to blather on and on and go down tangents and side-stories and it drives me fucking nuts. I often interrupt her with "stick to one story" or "get to the point" or sometimes I'll just conclude her brief pauses with "ok." If none of those works, I work through the continuum of force to "chitterchatterchitterchatterchitchitchittchiiiiiiittterchatter!" with my best impression of a squirrel barking. Thankfully, she's understanding and accepting of it. For someone who will type book-length responses to threads on forums, I'm actually a pretty quiet person in real life and don't enjoy flapping my gums just for the sake of doing so.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
My wife's family is the opposite. They all speak over each other constantly and if you want to get a word in, you had best just jump in the fracas and start speaking over them as well, because if you wait for your turn, it ain't coming. It honestly stresses me out and I have a very low threshold for sustained interaction with them. Great people, but I absolutely hate being talked over, and I can't keep track of five or more people talking all at once.

Sounds like my wife's family this Christmas. After eating I spent a good amount of time in the extra TV room playing with their dogs, enjoying the silence....

My standard response: Cut to the chase! Drives me crazy too!

Oy, that's my wife.

She will launch into a 30 minute story full of sudden direction changes, tangents, and rabbit holes, then get frustrated when I have to stop her mid-story in order to either go attend to something else, or to ask a bunch of questions because I'm completely lost as to who she's currently talking about and what her point is/was/will be.

She then accuses me of "not knowing how to have a conversation", followed by me pointing out that "this was not a conversation but a monologue".

Good times.

It's a female thing. All women are wired like that, to an extent. Some (like my wife and your daughter) seem to have it worse.

Men prefer to break things down and put them into little mental boxes. And when they need something pertaining to a box, they open just that box to ask a concise question or give a concise reply about exactly what's in the box. Their brains are like waffles, made up of a bunch of these segmented boxes.

Whereas women's brains are like a huge pile of spaghetti, with everything pertaining to everything else and being joined and interconnected. That's why they tend to go on these long, rambling, meandering monologues, which makes perfect sense to them since it's all perfectly understandably interconnected in their mind, but it's baffling to men who just want to know what's in the box and then move on.

This hardwired difference is why men and women are typically better at different things. For example, women are usually better at multitasking then men, since everything is interconnected at all times in their mind anyway. But men are usually better about divorcing their emotions from a situation in order to handle a stressful situation logically, since stress/emotions and logic are two separate boxes.

Exactly why a lot of people (mostly men) learn the age old ability to say "mmmhum", "yeah", "mmmhum" whenever they sense a pause in the conversation. But it's not like they are really listening...

Of course that assumes there is a football game on or something interesting to do when they start yapping.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Sounds like my wife's family this Christmas. After eating I spent a good amount of time in the extra TV room playing with their dogs, enjoying the silence....

Yeah, that’s more or less what I do when we’re all together. I’m around when it’s expected and appopriate, but often I retreat to a quiet spot.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
[...]but it's baffling to men who just want to know what's in the box and then move on.

As Rogue stated, I know it's just how women are hard-wired by God above and there ain't no upgrading the firmware, but I've told mother COUNTLESS times to just give me the summation and the bottom line. But nooooooooo...it has to drone on for 30 minutes. Ask her what time it is and she'll tell you how to build a watch. Gotta love her. JSMH.....

I think this is a man vs. women thing. It would amaze me when a woman I was with would launch into a monologue about something that involved people I did not know, have never met and took place at someplace I have never been and wont ever go. Then she would get pissed and say "you never listen to me"!
I was listening. I just couldn't relate to anything she said!

It’s real easy to say “get to the point my phone is about to die.” But I suppose I can’t use that in face to face until I need hearing aids.

Some of you guys remind me of Sgt. Friday. See how he controls the conversation.

quote:

Originally posted by YooperSigs:
I think this is a man vs. women thing. It would amaze me when a woman I was with would launch into a monologue about something that involved people I did not know, have never met and took place at someplace I have never been and wont ever go.

It is mostly a man v woman thing, but my FIL and several other male members on that side of the family can talk the ear off a brass monkey, just like a woman.

Same deal, talking about people you've never met, places you've never gone, and doing things that don't remotely interest anyone, blah blah blah.

Oh, and I've heard you try and tell this story before... like 10 times.... shit, I've got a work phone call, gotta step out for awhile...

quote:

For someone who will type book-length responses to threads on forums, I'm actually a pretty quiet person in real life and don't enjoy flapping my gums just for the sake of doing so.

God, embarrassingly I have tendencies to do this pretty frequently. And lately, especially in phone conversations I'll interrupt somebody. I've apologized time and time again. Ever since I had an aneurysm blow and stroked during surgery to repair the bleed, so many cognitive and emotional issues often rear their ugly head. I can't tell you how many posts I've deleted because I caught myself running on and actually loosing my point I was going for.

I discussed this with a psychologist who suggested that it may be related to pseudo bulbar affective disorder. I'm embarrassed to admit it but I haven't a lot of control of it. I described it to others on a stroke survivors forum, that sometimes when I start running on it's like an out of control train that cannot stop, I'm not sure if I do it because subconsciously I have the need to get it out before I forget my point. Short term memory loss. It sucks, it's embarrassing and if I run long in some posts, forgive me. Even knowing about it, it's hard to control. As is the nature of strokers and brain damage.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
women are usually better at multitasking then men

Told my wife to sit down and shut up....she couldn’t do either one.

Actual event.

"Hey, let's watch some TV"
Six people able to agree on "Comedians in Cars, Drinking Coffee."

As SOON as it comes on and 1/3 of the crowd realize the show and start watching/ listening, the person who recommended, turned on the TV, and got the show up, starts talking OVER the TV which 5/6 of the family is watching and trying to pay attention to.

LMAO, thanks for all the responses and glad to hear I am not the only one suffering. My wife in general gets to the point.

Another annoying thing my daughter does is to come up to me and talk to me while I am talking to someone else on the phone while I am the one doing the takling.

Great picture erj_pilot.

I literally just had to tell my wife “get to the point, I need to take a piss and you’re interfering with that.” It truly is never-ending. The point is, we’ve at least found a peaceful way to communicate about it. I listen to her jabber until my meter has filled and then I tell her and she either gets to the punchline or says “ok” and stops and it isn’t a big deal. I’m thankful we have that.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
I call this "VERBAL VOMITING". It's not a conversation, it's a person just shitting words....

Verbal diarrhea.

I have to tell my wife, "short version, honey" at least twice a day.