Coming back from a cruise, we changed plans in Heathrow. Checking, we had 70 minutes to reach the connecting flight.
First, we walked an endless corridor. Periodically there were emergency exits but no gates, and no passengers but those of us from the plane. Sharp turn, through gates, sharp turn and walk.
We reach the duty free shopping. Great, one goal was “The Queens Shop” that had Corgi gifts. Never saw it. The march continues
Finally, we find our flight on the departure screen. Gate E-48? More marching.
Suddenly we’re at security. Huh? We didn’t exit anywhere? No matter, we go through screening. Yes, on the x-Ray the Faberge eggs do look like hand grenades. Yes, the pretty Russian wood carvings do look like “a mass.” Yes, my wife sets off the screening. Artificial knees, see the cane?
Up an escalator. Huh? Passport check by an airline employee? OK, check passport (Yep it’s still me) she affixes a stamp on the back and initials it. Back to the march. Add in a couple of people movers. About gate E-40 we hear “Last call for boarding flight 292.” That’s our flight.
I start running. Reached the gate. Attendant is counting paper and ignores me. Another employee says to come around. I reach the gerbil maze. No entry. I commit the sin of unhooking the strap and marching through. The guy (politely) stops me and says I have to have my PASSPORT CHECKED AGAIN? Luckily, the passport person comes over. Passport check by an airline employee? OK, check passport (Yep it’s still me) she affixes a stamp on the back and initials it. (Yes, the exact same thing. )In fact, her stamp and initial go right over the other stamp. By now my wife has made it.
We board. The purser, a very tall and very British lady, greats us by first name. We get seated and the champagne arrives.
We were on the ground for more then an hour. There’s no way we could have made it faster.
I hate Heathrow.

Want to have fun?

When at one of those passport/security checks, they ask if your bags have been out of your control, say "Yes sir." When they inquire the circumstances, say, "At security when I was forced to walk through the metal detectors, leave my bags behind and out of my sight for a solid several minutes."

I was asked, "Sir, are you a lawyer?"

Their security is a severe PITA of which I have several stories.

I just view the long walk as a way to get the blood flowing. At least that's what I tell myself

Went to London in high school (2003).
Stuff like this is why our trip director (HS teacher at our school) flew us into Gatwick instead.

I can't imagine a group of 30 HS students & 10 chaperones making it through an ordeal like that in any timely manner.

quote:

Originally posted by Icabod:
The purser, a very tall and very British lady, greats us by first name.

First name? Rather cheeky, don't you think? She definitely should have addressed you as Mr. and Mrs. Icabod.

I'll take almost any airport over Mexico City

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by Icabod:
The purser, a very tall and very British lady, greats us by first name.

First name? Rather cheeky, don't you think? She definitely should have addressed you as Mr. and Mrs. Icabod.

She had Champagne and we were out of Heathrow. She could call us anything.

Last year, I flew through Heathrow on the way to Newcastle. After walking several kilometers, I had to get on a stupid ass bus which took forever, then I had to clear security where they inspected all pockets & compartments of my backpack, then I had to walk through a GD shopping mall, and then I got to a gate with 12 measly seats for a flight with 100+ seats.

I refuse to change planes at Heathrow. The only time I will fly into there is if I am staying in London or planning on taking a train to my next destination.

quote:

Originally posted by Pale Horse:
I refuse to change planes at Heathrow. The only time I will fly into there is if I am staying in London or planning on taking a train to my next destination.

Agree. Used to be able to fly into Gatwick from DFW but no more.

As do I....I was flying to see the future MRS Dewhorse, at JFK they told me my laptop bag....a rolling version was fine....OOOOH no

Not for my next flight, after being told i would have to check my laptop bag and standing in the immigration line for an hour I had missed my flight.

I walk up to the counter to be rebooked "yes sir, the next flight is tomorrow"....Wrong answer, I am only doing a 4 day weekend YOU WILL FIND ME A FLIGHT TODAY "oh, we have one out of Gatwick but you will have to take a bus"

I took the bus...

Amsterdam is sooo much better, plus they have Murphy's....english breakfast and a pint of red...

The reason the airline employees check your immigration docs is because if you get to your destination and your docs aren't in order and you get sent back; it's the airline that eats your return flight.

There have been several terrorists who made it as far as Detroit. They attempted to fly out of Heathrow, but the security was too stringent; they ended up going back to Amsterdam.

Of course, arriving in Detroit, had they made it off the airplane, they'd have learned that they were nothing special and probably been frightened into going back...

Heathrow is convenient for us going to our company office in Bracknell. No changes just the chaos and interrogation to exit.

For connecting passengers Heathrow can be problematic. Since there are four terminals, all of which are separated by a great amount of distance, you need a substantial amount of time to connect. Airports like Amsterdam that have a single terminal design are far easier to navigate and connect through. Plus the UK charges possibly one of the highest departure taxes in Europe.

I was ther last week. The security process was quite interesting. Way more complicated than it should have been. Liquids were all treated like I was transporting uranium. At least the United lounge was nice.

Great, I'm flying in/out of Heathrow next week, vacationing in London. Any advice?

quote:

Originally posted by barndg00:
Great, I'm flying in/out of Heathrow next week, vacationing in London. Any advice?

If you are not transferring planes it isn't all that bad.

If you take public transit, namely the Underground and buses, it’s relatively inexpensive especially coupled with a day pass or week pass. There are free attractions which includes many of the museums, although you should be prepared for huge crowds as it is the summer season. There are the quintessential things to do such as watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace or having a pint at a typical English pub. I’d recommend visiting Harrod’s department store, if for no other reason than to check out an ornate building with all the classy brand names you could think of. Then there’s just simply strolling through neighborhoods like Kensington or walking along the banks of the Thames River and taking in sights such as the Parliament Buildings and the Tower of London.

The moral of this story is connections are bad. Avoid them if at all possible.

However, certain airports are better for connections than others. Going through customs and immigration adds considerably to your transfer time.

quote:

Originally posted by Pale Horse:

quote:

Originally posted by barndg00:
Great, I'm flying in/out of Heathrow next week, vacationing in London. Any advice?

If you are not transferring planes it isn't all that bad.

If the spouse uses a cane, tell the airline you need a wheelchair. IME at Heathrow, Dulles, Ohare, Denver, and other airports that sprawl across the land it gets you through security a bit faster, and to the gate a bit faster.