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Irritated with a neighbor and friend. Perhaps time to say Adios ?

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https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230601935/m/1770032784

December 02, 2021, 10:59 AM
Ronin1069
Irritated with a neighbor and friend. Perhaps time to say Adios ?
Maintaining a friendship can take work; you have to ask yourself if you get value from doing that work.

If not? He becomes the neighbor you wave to as you are closing the garage door. I made that move on a neighbor a few years ago and have never looked back.


___________________________
All it takes...is all you got.
____________________________
For those who have fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
December 02, 2021, 11:11 AM
sigfreund
A continuing mystery to me is why people associate on a purely voluntary basis with others who do nothing other than annoy or upset them. And I find nothing more annoying than unjustified criticism. That guy, like many such people, probably believes that he’s doing a good deed by offering what he considers to be “constructive” criticism, but another mystery is why anyone believes they have some sort of obligation to participate in their delusions.

I would stop associating with someone like that after the first “Why don’t you …?” If he were perceptive enough to notice and ask why that, I might offer an explanation once, but that would be it unless he recognized and acknowledged what he’d been doing and actually changed his ways. Life is too short, and all that.




6.0/94.0

To operate serious weapons in a serious manner.
December 02, 2021, 11:14 AM
LS1 GTO
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.

I sometimes wonder if I'm not borderline sociopathic. Whatever, I'm fine with it.


Somebody on this forum is feeling awfully special right now. Wanna let us know who it might be? Razz






Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.



"If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers

The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own...



December 02, 2021, 11:19 AM
YooperSigs
I have many acquaintances. But very few true friends.
Friend can take me to task. But acquaintances dont have that privilege.


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
December 02, 2021, 11:35 AM
Rey HRH
I have a simple solution. You don't have to stop being his friend.

Just stop stopping by to talk.



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
December 02, 2021, 01:10 PM
PASig
Have you considered that in his own gruff way, his getting on you about "doing nothing" is actually him being worried for you?

I've seen it way too many times with guys who work their entire life, then retire to "do nothing" and are dead within a year or two. Frown

This is exactly what happened to a coworker, he got less than 18 months of retirement before he died. It seems like for a lot of people, working is what keeps them going.


December 02, 2021, 02:46 PM
Sunset_Va
quote:
Originally posted by PASig:
Have you considered that in his own gruff way, his getting on you about "doing nothing" is actually him being worried for you?

I've seen it way too many times with guys who work their entire life, then retire to "do nothing" and are dead within a year or two. Frown

This is exactly what happened to a coworker, he got less than 18 months of retirement before he died. It seems like for a lot of people, working is what keeps them going.


I won't disagree with what you said. But I stay busy with chores, and do not sit around all day.

I've had cancer since retiring, 2 heart attacks in the past 2 years congestive heart failure. and battling critical anemia, that the doctors cannot find the cause of.

My neighbors presentation,however, does not come across to me as advice on health. It comes across as him viewing me as choosing not to work as he does.

I retired in 2004, and had just started working at another job, when I had cancer.

What you said, does happen to many retirees. But I've not fallen into the sedentary trap.


美しい犬
December 02, 2021, 03:01 PM
HRK
quote:
I think the guy is pissed because he thinks everyone should work like he does. I



Or maybe he's jealous, unhappy he's still working at his age and didn't plan retirement well,

who knows, Just smile wave and go on about your day and be like a duck, why care what he thinks...
December 02, 2021, 04:09 PM
PHPaul
quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.

I sometimes wonder if I'm not borderline sociopathic. Whatever, I'm fine with it.




Somebody on this forum is feeling awfully special right now. Wanna let us know who it might be? Razz


What, and burst the other 90,000-odd member's bubbles? That would be cruel. Razz




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
December 02, 2021, 05:23 PM
spunk639
Screw him, the time you spent here about him is time you won’t get back. Bye and move on.
December 02, 2021, 07:07 PM
SevenPlusOne
Tell him you don't have time to talk, and have to get back to doing nothing.



"Ninja kick the damn rabbit"
December 02, 2021, 08:53 PM
slabsides45
Next time, ask him if he can summarize his concerns quickly so you can get back to your schedule.... Big Grin


________________________________________________

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
-Dr. Adrian Rogers
December 03, 2021, 12:49 AM
bobtheelf
"Yep, I'm enjoying it. You should try it."
December 03, 2021, 05:37 PM
KevinCW
What's his problem... and why is what you do any of his goddamn business? If you pull your own weight (retired, don't beg or borrow from him, pay your bills, take care of your responsibilities...) what concern is how you live your life any of his?

I would probably tell him to cram it next time... and if he wants to be friends do fine, but stow that nonsense. If not... well... never darken my door again.





Strive to live your life so when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh crap, he's up."
December 03, 2021, 10:13 PM
mikeyspizza
I would play along. No skin off my back. "Yea, well I wish I was 60."
December 04, 2021, 07:17 AM
erj_pilot
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.
”One of ‘em’s me…the other ain’t you.” Cool



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
December 04, 2021, 08:07 AM
PHPaul
quote:
Originally posted by erj_pilot:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.
”One of ‘em’s me…the other ain’t you.” Cool


Have we met? Big Grin




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
December 04, 2021, 08:51 AM
tatortodd
quote:
Originally posted by Sunset_Va:
Sometimes I stop by to talk , see how he is doing, but lately it's not often.
Does he ever stop by your place to talk? Do you gather at any groups/events/places together?

If the answer to both is no then it's an extremely lopsided friendship, and I wouldn't be making any more drop-ins.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
December 05, 2021, 08:23 AM
Haveme1or2
I like to "fix" relationships that go different than i want. So far I've skunked. Acceptance is not my strong suit.
December 05, 2021, 06:16 PM
P210
“I heard you the first time and I divorced the last person who badgered me” generally works for me, one way or the other.