For the life of me I can't get a razors edge on a blade! If someone can recommend the best gadget, I'll buy another one.
The other is knot tying. A length of paracord and Utube twenty times and three months later when I need to tie a knot...
Pfft! I give up. I bought a new chef knife just so it would be sharp.

Brain surgery. NOT doing that again...

All you need is a water stone for kitchen knives, like this. Comes with two sides. You pour water on as you go and once you get the hang of the correct angle you need it's not all that hard. Been sharpening my knives this way for 30+ years now. Then you give it a few strokes on a good butcher's steel (again the correct angle is crucial) and you will have a nice sharp knife:

Plumbing. For the life of me it doesn't seem to work. My wife laughs at me cause in the past I worked on very complex aerospace and military projects.

To sharpen things get a Spyderco Sharpmaker. Super easy.

Anything that requires a mechanical engineering mind. Whatever it is, might as well a Rubiks cube on steroids.

Painting. Interior. Exterior. Doesnt matter. Everything I try to paint looks like crap.

My son’s buddy asked me to sharpen his cheap WalMart tanto blade knife. He had been using a whetstone with no luck.

After 10 minutes, I couldn’t even raise a burr, just said F it and tried stropping it with green compound. I don’t know why, but it worked.

I can't hunt very well. I once happened upon a big ol' turkey. Thought about raising my rifle and pulling the trigger, but...

it would have scared the shit out of everybody in frozen foods.

Most of my fishing happens at Captain D's.

Swimming. I am a cinder block in the water. My take is if I can't walk on it, it ain't safe.

quote:

Originally posted by 64dodge:
Swimming. I am a cinder block in the water. My take is if I can't walk on it, it ain't safe.

That's one thing I give my Mother in law credit for, she took all my sons, when they were toddlers, dunked them in the pool,
pushed them away and said swim or die! They are all excellent swimmers.

Working on ceiling fans. Standing on a ladder bending over backwards reaching up and repairing stuff is a job for someone else.

I can't shuffle a deck of cards to save my own life.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Working on ceiling fans. Standing on a ladder bending over backwards reaching up and repairing stuff is a job for someone else.

You have to turn the fan off first...

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Working on ceiling fans. Standing on a ladder bending over backwards reaching up and repairing stuff is a job for someone else.

One of the few times I paid someone to work in my home. Install a fan in the entrance way. Wasn't going to buy a 15 foot stepladder for one job. I promptly dropped the remote on the kitchen floor, shattered. Ordered a new remote, have to replace the part up in the fan. Is Ughhh a word?

quote:

Originally posted by Rawny:
I can't shuffle a deck of cards to save my own life.

Yep! Try it with Arthritis. My brothers and cousins are Euchre nuts!

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Working on ceiling fans. Standing on a ladder bending over backwards reaching up and repairing stuff is a job for someone else.

You have to turn the fan off first...

I get dizzy doing that, even when I remember to turn off the fan!

@ .38supersig - Me too. Three reasons:

1. Very little to no experience/mentoring. Dad didn't hunt and deer in Michigan in the 50s/60s were damn near unheard of in my area.

2. High Klutz Factor. I tell people I go through the woods like a cat. A D8 Cat.

3. Old and achy. Can't sit or stand in one position for more than a few minutes.

@ 12131 - I feel your pain. Literally. I can no longer work on anything over my head for more than a few seconds and even then my shoulders will give me hell for the rest of the day. Not to mention my balance is shot to hell. Much of the reason I gave up motorcycles when I did.

I cannot understand a woman's wishes nor read my wife's mind, in spite of her insistence I do so. Sort of like.........

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah!

This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how much steel! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy.

The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Working on ceiling fans. Standing on a ladder bending over backwards reaching up and repairing stuff is a job for someone else.

You have to turn the fan off first...

Now that's just plain funny. Thank you for the giggle.

Working with executives and senior executives who are stress monsters that can’t have fun.

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"Nope, i just refuse to stress"

"You don’t what stress is"

"Ever been 2,000 miles from land and have a plane catch fire on the roof of your house? Ever find yourself in place where mortars are impacting 300 yards from your position and closing? Ever leave your spouse and 2 month old for 6 months and no way to get out of it? Those were some of the less stressful times in my life. What have you gone through?"