A man, a donkey, and a llama walk into a bar.

Oh deer!!

They like to jump out in to the road.

Wasn't long ago that a car horn would make them turn and run. Not happening anymore.

Then I found some Hella air horns for $4. The deer haven't got used to them (yet).

I drive to IL tomorrow, may lower the collision hazard just a little. I have two tags, muzzle-loader is sighted in.

When in Alaska (middle to late 1970"s) (Delta Junction) my animal traffic problems were caused by buffalo and or moose. At that time our area had a free roaming buffalo herd that went where they wanted at any time they wanted.. even thru barbed wire fences. ........... One winter had a moose jump into the frozen asphalt roadway from my left to right and my drivers side rearview mirror slapped it in the nose. Had the moose had taken 1 or 2 more steps it would have been a broadside impact with the moose coming thru the windshield and injuring myself and wife if not fatal injuries. Had to change my clothing after having to take a short break to settle the nerves. ...... And the moose were all over the place as well as getting into peoples gardens till the day before the opening of moose hunting season. Seemed like they just disappeared and vanished. ................................... drill sgt.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: drill sgt,

quote:

Originally posted by Skins2881:


I've had exactly one tomato this year thanks to the squirrels. I don't even understand the physics of how they can carry them.

My neighbor's hickory tree had a bumper crop of nuts drop into my yard this year, seriously it was the most I've ever seen of these dammed things, like a thousand lbs total or more.

The squirrels love these things, but I can't figure out how they open and eat them, take a walnut and make the shell about 20 times tougher and harder to crack and you have a hickory nut. You have to bash them with a big hammer to open them. These little buggers just chew right through.

We lost a medium sized pumpkin to some squirrels. Chewed right through it to get the seeds.

I sprayed the other ones with a bleach solution - seems to be working. Couple nibbles but that's it.

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:

And the sonofabitch just stood there looking at me like "Ooooooooooo, I'm SO scared..."

That's funny. Not a laughing matter for you, though.

Gun season for deer opened in Wisconsin today. I doubt I'll see many deer standing around in the near future.

I've already seen a few going for car rides.

Sorry, everyone, but I'm eating the varmints as fast as I can. Chili last night, spaghetti tonight. Lots of ground venison in both.

Deer don't bother me, the hunters on the other hand....

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
I figured I'd put The Fear of Humans in it, hauled out the little .22 Mag LCR I carry all the time and cranked one off.

And the sonofabitch just stood there looking at me like "Ooooooooooo, I'm SO scared..."

Why won't they do that during hunting season?

I was trying to tell my wife that pretty much every type of bird you can hunt (dove, quail, ducks, geese etc.) seem to know exactly when to disappear and when they can flaunt their presence. A Tex Avery cartoon from 1948, 'Lucky Ducky' illustrated this perfectly.

Many ducks are swimming and flying in V- formations around a pond. They are also doing a conga line around two dogs waiting in their boat. Nearby at a tree, a sign reads "No Hunting Before 6:AM. As the clock finally strikes six, all the ducks fly away before anyone has the the chance to shoot one.

Later, just as they are about to shoot one, the duckling pulls out a STOP sign and points to the clock from the beginning which now has a sign showing "NO SHOOTING AFTER 5:00 PM". The bell rings, the ducks come back, swimming, flying and doing another conga line along the gunwhale of the boat.

I couldn't find the cartoon, but the conga line is shown in this clip which unfortunately is on facebook.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:

I don't hunt, but I'm now so pissed at the verkakte deer I'd shoot 'em if the township would allow me. Seriously.

Crossbow. Just sayn'

This just in.

$850.00 damage done to my friends 8 y.o. pick up,
from deer damage.

in eastern Iowa

I just about tagged one after nightfall last night. If I'd had wider mirrors, we'd have had a hit. Hey, I'll stay out of the ditches if they'll stay off of the roads! Deal?

Axis deer are out of control here and Molokai is a lot worse as you can see in this video someone took of them crossing the road. I know how to post video but here’s the link.

https://youtu.be/vefUax_j6L8