Pissed the wife off again, funny. (My misguided attempt at humor.)
Out shopping for vacation clothes for the wife... because apparently the 4 closets full of clothes she already has are only good for Middle Tennessee, not East Tennessee, where we are going.
Anyway, we see a really nice looking lady (read that as... VERY HOT lady) in a nice dress (read that as... a form fitted, short, and low cut dress) pass by.
I simply said to my wife... We are shopping for her after all... I'd buy you that dress if it would make you look that good.
I thought it was funny... her... not so much. This message has been edited. Last edited by: cparktd, June 01, 2021 03:30 PM
Endeavor to persevere.
May 26, 2021, 06:27 PM
2BobTanner
Famous “last words” that you are never say.
W: “Does this dress make my butt look fat?”
H: “Yes Dear; anything you say, Dear.”
--------------------- DJT-45/47 MAGA !!!!!
“Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.”
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." — Mark Twain
“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H. L. Mencken
May 26, 2021, 06:46 PM
Sr_Bull
quote:
Originally posted by 2BobTanner: Famous “last words” that you are never say.
W: “Does this dress make my butt look fat?”
H: “Yes Dear; anything you say, Dear.”
W: "Does this dress make my butt look fat?"
H: "Your butt makes your butt look fat."
FIFY
May 26, 2021, 07:43 PM
cne32507
Janice, trying on a pair of Lululemons: "Do you think I'm too old to wear these?" Arlo: "In public?"
May 26, 2021, 08:05 PM
old rugged cross
probably not a great attempt at humor. They remember things like that.
"Practice like you want to play in the game"
May 26, 2021, 09:16 PM
apprentice
Hope you're already tired of half your shit.
On the other hand, I can tell you from experience it is very liberating to finally have all her stuff gone.
May 26, 2021, 09:57 PM
erj_pilot
quote:
Originally posted by cparktd: I thought it was funny... her... not so much.
And another death marked as Covid-related is recorded.....
"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
May 26, 2021, 10:05 PM
ensigmatic
quote:
Originally posted by old rugged cross:
probably not a great attempt at humor. They remember things like that.
And well they should. Maybe you had to be there, but that didn't strike me as "funny" at all. Disrespectful, insulting, and hurtful? Yes. Funny? Not so much <smh>
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
May 26, 2021, 10:23 PM
P220 Smudge
That wasn't funny. That was crass and stupid. If you think so little of her, why stay with her?
______________________________________________ Endeavoring to master the subtle art of the grapefruit spoon.
May 26, 2021, 10:31 PM
Edmond
I'm surprised you lived long enough to post this...
_____________
May 26, 2021, 10:52 PM
Orguss
quote:
Originally posted by P220 Smudge: That wasn't funny. That was crass and stupid. If you think so little of her, why stay with her?
"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
May 26, 2021, 10:58 PM
Ripley
Opposites attract, huh?
The wife goes to bed before I do. She'll say "G'night", I'll usually grunt a response.
The other evening --
Wife: :"G'night" Me (thinking of something I'd seen on tv earlier: "Sweet dreams". Her: "What?!" Me: "Sweet dreams". Her: "What does THAT mean??" Me: hearty laughter Her: "Now I'm worried". Me: heartier laughter...
Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
May 26, 2021, 11:08 PM
cparktd
Hoo-boy, guess I missed the mark with some of y'all. My bad? At least most of you seem to go with it.
She knows me extremely well and how to take me. I literally can't remember the last time she was actually mad at me or me her. Disappointed slightly maybe! Like last week when I forgot to take the trash off
42 years, 3 kids, 8 Grandkids, and 2 Great Grandkids later... trust me we are doing just fine!
Endeavor to persevere.
May 27, 2021, 06:53 AM
Krazeehorse
Life's a balancing act. The next time you walk by a smokin' hottie just comment to your wife, "disgusting"!
_____________________
Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
May 27, 2021, 03:56 PM
HRK
May 27, 2021, 03:58 PM
RichardC
Good work, HRK! I went blue and passed out, holding my breath waiting for that It had to be done.
____________________
May 27, 2021, 04:09 PM
Tonydec
So, what hospital are you in that takes dictation and posts for you?
Tony
May 28, 2021, 10:40 AM
Loswsmith
quote:
Originally posted by cparktd: Out shopping for vacation clothes for the wife... because apparently the 4 closets full of clothes she already has are only good for Middle Tennessee, not East Tennessee, where we are going.
Anyway, we see a really nice looking lady (read that as... VERY HOT lady) in a nice dress (read that as... a form fitted, short, and low cut dress) pass by.
I simply said to my wife... We are shopping for her after all... I'd buy you that dress if it would make you look that good.
I thought it was funny... her... not so much.
And it was written thus: that lo the Angel of Death did brush his cheek with her feathered wing and lo he did not heed, such is the cluelessness of Man.
___________________________________________ Life Member NRA & Washington Arms Collectors
Mistake not my current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the milquetoast shallows fringing my vast oceans of wrath.
Velocitas Incursio Vis - Gandhi
May 28, 2021, 01:06 PM
cparktd
Funny stuff, Thats the spirit!
HRK, gonna save that MIME and might have to make it my desktop background for a while... as a reminder... or maybe not, she might notice the picture of her was gone
She was in her usual good mood yesterday but I was hungry... so I told her to go slip into one of those little sundresses that she looks SO good in and we would go down to the Cafe for lunch. You see I know how to work It.
I had the fried catfish and she a steak, and dessert at home later
Endeavor to persevere.
May 28, 2021, 04:34 PM
TRMN8R
quote:
Originally posted by cparktd: She was in her usual good mood yesterday but I was hungry... so I told her to go slip into one of those little sundresses that she looks SO good in and we would go down to the Cafe for lunch. You see I know how to work It.
I had the fried catfish and she a steak, and dessert at home later
Effin'-A, Cotton; Effin’-A !
G19G5x2/G43/G42 Canik TP9 SFx HK45c Tactical USP45c/ss P30S V3 P30 V1 LEM And a butt-load of P7's...
This message has been edited. Last edited by: cparktd, 
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