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Purveyor of
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Picture of Orguss
posted
The eighth epic iteration of this series of horribly awesome movies is even more horrible and less awesome than its predecessors. Hang onto your butts, cuz this movie sucks (by FF standards).

Charlize Theron stars as a grittier, more angry version of whatever character she came up with to co-star in every movie since Prometheus. She joins the already seasoned cast, as well as Kurt Russell, in a story of revenge, control, duplicity, and family.

Fast & Furious movies have always skirted the realm of impossible physics. Up 'til now, however, it's always been just on this side of forgivable. With Fate of the Furious, all notions of realism get tossed aside. Dom drives a car that's capable of shrugging off all incoming ordnance, a la KITT from Knight Rider. There's an Akula-class submarine that's capable of keeping up with cars traveling at high velocities. There are cars capable of driving through three feet of concrete. There's a physical fight sequence that's actually pretty badass. But when you think you've seen it all, F8 tosses (literally) one action sequence at you that is just too impossible to come to grips with: Cipher, played by Theron, has her team of computer wizards hack into dozens--nay, hundreds--of cars in New York City to turn them into drones that hunt down a target. It's literally a zombie horde of cars, crashing into each other as they go around a corner or flying off a multi-floor parking garage. I sat there wondering how I was supposed to even accept this as possible.

There is a lot less humor in this film, though Tyrese makes an admirable attempt as Roman. There are two mentions of Paul Walker's character which neatly explain why he isn't in this movie. There are flashy cars, scantily clad women, and a booming hip-hop soundtrack. There is no Easter egg cutscene after the credits. There is also no reason to watch this in the theater. Wait for the Netflix offering. As a fan of the series, I was deeply disappointed. I hope the next two can redeem this one.



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
 
Posts: 18018 | Location: Sonoma County, CA | Registered: April 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Striker in waiting
Picture of BurtonRW
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quote:
Originally posted by Orguss:
The eighth epic iteration of this series of horribly awesome movies is even more horrible and less awesome than its predecessors. Hang onto your butts, cuz this movie sucks (by FF standards).


Are you forgetting Tokyo Drift, which I admittedly like in a weird sort of way, or do you include that in the "sucks less than FF8" category?

-Rob




I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888

A=A
 
Posts: 16263 | Location: Maryland, AA Co. | Registered: March 16, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
Picture of parabellum
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Jesus Christ, make it stop. Lord Almighty, I beseech thee to put a halt to this series of "movies". Smite thine enemies with all your righteous fury.

Amen


____________________________________________________

"I am your retribution." - Donald Trump, speech at CPAC, March 4, 2023
 
Posts: 107258 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
Picture of Floyd D. Barber
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quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
Jesus Christ, make it stop. Lord Almighty, I beseech thee to put a halt to this series of "movies". Smite thine enemies with all your righteous fury.

Amen





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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
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It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
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Posts: 7353 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The first one was a great watch on cable/satellite, mainly for Jordana Brewster. Since, pure manure. Only thing since has been Gal Gadot.



What am I doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone
 
Posts: 12569 | Location: Down South | Registered: January 16, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Purveyor of
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Picture of Orguss
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by BurtonRW:
quote:
Originally posted by Orguss:
The eighth epic iteration of this series of horribly awesome movies is even more horrible and less awesome than its predecessors. Hang onto your butts, cuz this movie sucks (by FF standards).


Are you forgetting Tokyo Drift, which I admittedly like in a weird sort of way, or do you include that in the "sucks less than FF8" category?

-Rob

Watch this movie then come back and tell me how Tokyo Drift is worse. I dare you.



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
 
Posts: 18018 | Location: Sonoma County, CA | Registered: April 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A car jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper in Dubai is just this side of forgiveable when it comes to physics? You're very lenient lol... I really enjoyed the first fast and furious years ago, but the barrier of forgiveable physics was crossed a long time ago lol
 
Posts: 1299 | Location: Arizona | Registered: January 31, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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4 & 5 were my favorite. I really wish they just ended it after 5.
 
Posts: 1662 | Location: NH | Registered: January 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
Jesus Christ, make it stop. Lord Almighty, I beseech thee to put a halt to this series of "movies". Smite thine enemies with all your righteous fury.

Amen


I am in my 30s and it shocks me how many of my friends are dying to see this movie. I would rather go watch The English Patient with Elaine.
 
Posts: 2690 | Location: Baltimore | Registered: October 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The first one came out when I was in high school. That was cool then. After that, they were all terrible. Seen all of 2 and bits and pieces of 3-6 and watched 7 while on one of the trips to/from Saudi last year. It was terrible. Especially the tribute or whatever you want to call it to Paul Walker at the end. Maybe I'm too old now or something but it just seemed to be trying too hard to not be overly sappy where kids wouldn't like it.
 
Posts: 2188 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: February 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
always with a hat or sunscreen
Picture of bald1
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I guess this Blu-Ray Amazon $27.99 special won't get much traction from anyone with any taste at all. LOL

https://www.amazon.com/Fast-Fu...lu-ray/dp/B01N32H7KI



Certifiable member of the gun toting, septuagenarian, bucket list workin', crazed retiree, bald is beautiful club!
USN (RET), COTEP #192
 
Posts: 16146 | Location: Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: June 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My boys, 14,13,and 10 are big time into cars and love this franchise. I took them tonight to see it so they wouldn't bug the shit out of me this weekend. It sucked, but they thought it was awesome as did the rest of the theater full of teens.

I need to introduce them to "The Fall Guy" series. That I could probably stand to watch regularly again.




Regards,

P.
 
Posts: 1287 | Location: Alabama | Registered: May 20, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Evil Asian Member
Picture of LastCubScout
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quote:
Originally posted by pbramlett:
My boys, 14,13,and 10 are big time into cars and love this franchise.


When I was a kid, I used to love car movies. I grew up on '70s carsploitation films. I miss when car movies were actually about cars, e.g. Vanishing Point, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, American Graffiti, Two-Lane Blacktop, Gumball Rally, Eat My Dust, et al. You should show them those old films. The early Fast films dealt with cars and street racing, but now they're all wacky spy capers with cars somehow shoehorned into the story, with Vin Diesel whining about "family" all the time. Unlike the general public, I miss those earlier films when it was more about cars and less about wacky adventures.

That said, I did see the new F8 last night. I saw it at the drive-in, because in my mind the film is just the modern version of a cheesy drive-in B-movie, albeit one that now costs hundreds of millions of dollars to produce. I also had to go because it was a 1:45 am showing, and I wanted to see if any fellow night owls would turn up on a Thursday night. There were 7 other cars that showed up.

It was pretty stupid, as expected. At least Charlize, Michelle Rodriguez, and Nathalie Emmanuel are comely enough to hold my attention. Helen Mirren too, normally, although when they cake that much makeup on her natural beauty, she looks more like a drag queen! I also liked the idea of the guys racing those old '50 cars in the beginning, until they got to the racing-backwards-on-fire part.

I did think it was very weird how they tried to soften Jason Statham's character. I mean, he's only killed off an entire hospital security staff, blown up a DSS office, destroyed Vin Diesel's entire house while endangering his sister, Paul Walker, and their son, and ruthlessly killed Vin's dear friend Sung Kang in Tokyo, but in reality Statham's character is an okay guy?!
 
Posts: 5580 | Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: April 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
make it stop.


Unfortunately, films 9 and 10 are already confirmed for 2019 and 2021.
 
Posts: 2768 | Location: Northern California | Registered: December 01, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by MikeNH:
The first one came out when I was in high school. That was cool then. After that, they were all terrible. Seen all of 2 and bits and pieces of 3-6 and watched 7 while on one of the trips to/from Saudi last year. It was terrible. Especially the tribute or whatever you want to call it to Paul Walker at the end. Maybe I'm too old now or something but it just seemed to be trying too hard to not be overly sappy where kids wouldn't like it.


I actually thought the tribute to Paul walker at the end of 7 was probably the best part of the movie.... since the rest of it wasn't very good at least they put some thought into that...
 
Posts: 1299 | Location: Arizona | Registered: January 31, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
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__________________________________________________________________________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 7353 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Purveyor of
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Picture of Orguss
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He won't get his wish for another four years.



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
 
Posts: 18018 | Location: Sonoma County, CA | Registered: April 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back in Black
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I love cars. They are ridiculous, but for me a "guilty pleasure".
 
Posts: 1147 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: January 23, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I swear I had
something for this
posted Hide Post
Because we get great stuff like this:



And if that's not bad enough, remember we get Avatar 2-4 starting in 2020!!!!! Roll Eyes
 
Posts: 4129 | Location: Kansas City, MO | Registered: May 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Live Slow,
Die Whenever
Picture of medic451
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My friend and his wife love those movies. I told him I thought they sucked, including the first one. He asked me "If they're so bad then why do they make so much money at the box office, and why do they keep making them?"

My response- "Because idiots like you keep paying money to see it..."

I get it with the teenagers, but these people are in there mid 30s.



"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
- John Wayne in "The Shootist"
 
Posts: 3440 | Location: California | Registered: May 31, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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