Decades of careful study of horror movies has taught me:
If a running car has been left outside, do NOT use it to make your escape! Hide behind the racks of chain saws instead.
November 29, 2017, 01:00 PM
SBrooks
Don't get lost Don't have sex Don't do drugs Don't go anywhere in the dark Don't stop for gas at chancey looking gas stations (and if you do - don't go wandering around - just stay by the pump.)
AND - if you do that "nuke from orbit" thing; the radioactivity will just create an even worse monster than the one you killed and shredded and nuked.
------------------ SBrooks
November 29, 2017, 03:47 PM
Echtermetzger
stick close to the goody goodies and virgins, they seem to not attract the bad guys. Either that or be with the comic relief guy, he tends to last almost to the end.
Don't be the that guy, the asshole. They die off fast.
A well balanced breakfast being necessary to the start of a healthy day, the right of the people to keep and eat food shall not be infringed.
November 30, 2017, 11:47 AM
Rinehart
If you are in bed frolicking with a gorgeous, smoking-hot woman and she suddenly stops what she is doing and says she has a surprise for you and GETS OUT of bed to get it, you are dead.
November 30, 2017, 01:28 PM
jsbcody
Stick close to the hot "girl you wished lived next door" virgin chick. With this plan you are at least assured of being one of the last ones killed or driving off with the girl after she has killed the bad thing.
November 30, 2017, 03:32 PM
sigspecops
If you're car breaks down, do not under any circumstance accept a ride from a stranger and never, ever go to a house out in the middle of nowhere to ask for help. In addition, never investigate strange noises or lights. If anything seems weird or out of place, run like hell and always be prepared to mercilessly kill anyone or any thing that even looks cross eyed at you.
No one's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session.- Mark Twain
December 01, 2017, 05:09 PM
zoom6zoom
If you find a book written in a strange script... don't try reading it.
Always make sure your phone is charged and has signal.
You’re always taking a chance when showering in a motel room.
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
December 02, 2017, 03:44 PM
fiasconva
No matter how fast they can run they always fall down.
"Even if the world were perfect it wouldn't be." ... Yogi Berra
December 05, 2017, 10:59 PM
sjtill
Do not send the infantry or worse yet National Guard to defend the city against the monster.
_________________________ “ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne
December 08, 2017, 12:20 PM
greco
If there is an Asian person in the movie, they will be the first to die.
Never be more than one step away from your sword-Old Greek Wisdom
Stay out of small independent motels on highways bypassed by the freeways.
If you are a member of the New Mexico State Police and you get an invitation to go to Los Angeles to chase giant ants it's not a good idea to accept.
Flying on a commercial airliner during a thunderstorm it's probably not wise to look out the window, keep the shade drawn, order a drink or two and read a book instead.
-------------------------------------—————— ————————--Ignorance is a powerful tool if applied at the right time, even, usually, surpassing knowledge(E.J.Potter, A.K.A. The Michigan Madman)