tumbles into the sea
Double tap - no reason to conserve ammo when dealing with monsters
NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
Then light the remains on fire.
and then nuke the site from orbit.....it is the only way to be sure.
Never back into anything.
"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"
- Satchel Paige
|Evil Asian Member|
That reminds me:
Always try to state to the authorities when contacting them a believable threat to encourage an immediate response and investigation instead of telling them the truth and having them laugh at you and disregard your call completely.
For instance, don't say, "We're being invaded by zombies!" Use: "Downtown is under siege by a riotous mob!" Don't say, "There's a giant mutant creature from outer space preying upon me!" Use: "There's an intruder in my house! Send help immediately!"
Last Cub Scout, that was funny!!!
If you wish to locate the homicidal maniac or slavering evil alien killer that has entered your domicile, there are two surefire strategies:
1. Walk into a darkened kitchen, open refrigerator door, lean into said refrigerator to retrieve desired food or drink. After this process is complete, the bad guy/alien can be located immediately behind the refrigerator door as it closes. If this fails,
2. Walk into your empty bathroom, switch on the light, open the mirrored medicine cabinet door. When you close the medicine cabinet door the killer can be located immediately behind the mirror as it closes.
Be advised that these strategies work best if you are (timewise) closer to the ending credits than the opening credits. If you believe you are closer to the beginning of the action it may be your best friend/cat/annoying sibling that appears behind the door or mirror. However, this will only happen once and once only.
Company, villainous company hath been the spoil of me.
|Equal Opportunity Mocker|
1. Look around you and when you see the most meek, demure person in the movie with you-they're the psycho. Kill them now.
2. If you're about to run away, there's a root. Or a ledge. Or a tree. Something you're about to run into.
3. You can run away for a 20 second sprint, and the killer can be walking casually, but when you get up and look and don't see him coming? Yeah, he's behind you, brah.
"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
-Dr. Adrian Rogers
If you are going to investigate a noise, take more than a cheap flashlight.
Don't bother trying to flee in a car, it won't start.
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver
NRA Life Member
Never go back for your girlfriend. You'll die. There's other fish in the sea.
Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
|Never Go |
Don't use the sink, bathtub, shower, or toilet. It's in the drain, dummy. One or multiple sensitive orifices of your person will be violated.
Checked the drain already? Oh, it's coming out of the faucet or dropping from the ceiling then.
"Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible but 8 beers and 6 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a see-saw" -R. Toler
Don't be the guy wearing a generic ball cap..those guys meet their maker quick.
Hi,I'm Buck Melonoma,Moley Russels' wart.
I like how you think. That's also still one of the best movie lines ever.
If you don't know what it is, don't touch it.
If you must go into the dark basement, running down there wearing no shirt but a bra guarentees your death.
|Edge seeking |
When you and some friends party at a rural or lakeside cabin with several cute girls, your odds of dying increase dramatically once you've done the deed with them. Remove condom, go home.
If the hot chic in the group wants to have sex with you, don't do it.
I'm not sure I'm learning the right lessons...
Hedley Lamarr: Wait, wait, wait. I'm unarmed.
Bart: Alright, we'll settle this like men, with our fists.
Hedley Lamarr: Sorry, I just remembered . . . I am armed.
|bigger government |
= smaller citizen
Never open a door, refrigerator or otherwise, and stand in such a way that it blocks the camera's view of the hallway/entrance/room, because when you shut that door, there will be a threat standing immediately next to you, EVEN IF the area was in your peripheral vision.
I'm being repressed!
Maybe it's best to rent sharp garden tools, lawn mowers, chainsaws, etc. rather than keep them in that dark woodshed.
Buy a new Smart Car with a push button start which doesn't require the key to be in the ignition to start. And a plus, when you get in you'll know there ain't nobody hiding in THAT back seat!
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