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Decades of careful study of horror movies has taught me: Login/Join 
california
tumbles into the sea
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cardio
 
Posts: 8625 | Location: NV | Registered: July 04, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Festina Lente
Picture of feersum dreadnaught
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quote:
Originally posted by f2:
cardio


Double tap - no reason to conserve ammo when dealing with monsters



NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
 
Posts: 5863 | Location: in the red zone of the blue state, CT | Registered: October 15, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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quote:
Originally posted by grumpy1:
Always cut the head off of anyone or anything trying to kill you and you believe they are dead. Cut their limbs off too for good measure and if a wood chipper is nearby use that too.

Then light the remains on fire.
 
Posts: 3719 | Location: Where ever Uncle Sam Sends Me | Registered: March 05, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by CD228:
quote:
Originally posted by grumpy1:
Always cut the head off of anyone or anything trying to kill you and you believe they are dead. Cut their limbs off too for good measure and if a wood chipper is nearby use that too.

Then light the remains on fire.


and then nuke the site from orbit.....it is the only way to be sure. Wink
 
Posts: 2000 | Location: St.Louis County MO | Registered: October 13, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of SecurityGeek
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Never back into anything.


"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"

- Satchel Paige
 
Posts: 132 | Location: Little Elm, Texas | Registered: April 09, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Evil Asian Member
Picture of LastCubScout
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quote:
Originally posted by FN in MT:
Many years back, I was sent on a "Mysterious impact, Possible crashed airplane or possibly a meteor impact," call.


That reminds me:

Always try to state to the authorities when contacting them a believable threat to encourage an immediate response and investigation instead of telling them the truth and having them laugh at you and disregard your call completely.

For instance, don't say, "We're being invaded by zombies!" Use: "Downtown is under siege by a riotous mob!" Don't say, "There's a giant mutant creature from outer space preying upon me!" Use: "There's an intruder in my house! Send help immediately!"
 
Posts: 4874 | Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: April 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Last Cub Scout, that was funny!!!
 
Posts: 12365 | Location: Eastern Iowa | Registered: May 21, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of mttaylor1066
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If you wish to locate the homicidal maniac or slavering evil alien killer that has entered your domicile, there are two surefire strategies:

1. Walk into a darkened kitchen, open refrigerator door, lean into said refrigerator to retrieve desired food or drink. After this process is complete, the bad guy/alien can be located immediately behind the refrigerator door as it closes. If this fails,

2. Walk into your empty bathroom, switch on the light, open the mirrored medicine cabinet door. When you close the medicine cabinet door the killer can be located immediately behind the mirror as it closes.

Be advised that these strategies work best if you are (timewise) closer to the ending credits than the opening credits. If you believe you are closer to the beginning of the action it may be your best friend/cat/annoying sibling that appears behind the door or mirror. However, this will only happen once and once only.


___________________

Company, villainous company hath been the spoil of me.
 
Posts: 1266 | Location: Stamford, CT | Registered: July 14, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Equal Opportunity Mocker
Picture of slabsides45
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1. Look around you and when you see the most meek, demure person in the movie with you-they're the psycho. Kill them now.

2. If you're about to run away, there's a root. Or a ledge. Or a tree. Something you're about to run into.

3. You can run away for a 20 second sprint, and the killer can be walking casually, but when you get up and look and don't see him coming? Yeah, he's behind you, brah.


________________________________________________

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
-Dr. Adrian Rogers
 
Posts: 4484 | Location: Mogadishu on the Mississippi | Registered: February 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
Picture of Floyd D. Barber
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If you are going to investigate a noise, take more than a cheap flashlight.

Don't bother trying to flee in a car, it won't start.


__________________________________________________________________________________
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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver


NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 6281 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Captain Morgan
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Never go back for your girlfriend. You'll die. There's other fish in the sea.



Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin
 
Posts: 3169 | Location: Sparta, NJ USA | Registered: August 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Never Go
Full Retard
Picture of MitchbSC
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Don't use the sink, bathtub, shower, or toilet. It's in the drain, dummy. One or multiple sensitive orifices of your person will be violated.

Checked the drain already? Oh, it's coming out of the faucet or dropping from the ceiling then.




MAGA ... Keep On Trumpin'!
 
Posts: 4468 | Location: SC - as seen on Live PD | Registered: January 27, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of badcopnodonut!!
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Don't be the guy wearing a generic ball cap..those guys meet their maker quick.




________________________



Hi,I'm Buck Melonoma,Moley Russels' wart.
 
Posts: 2522 | Location: sunflower state | Registered: January 31, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by jsbcody:

and then nuke the site from orbit.....it is the only way to be sure. Wink


I like how you think. That's also still one of the best movie lines ever.
 
Posts: 3719 | Location: Where ever Uncle Sam Sends Me | Registered: March 05, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of mikeyspizza
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If you don't know what it is, don't touch it.
 
Posts: 2026 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: August 16, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If you must go into the dark basement, running down there wearing no shirt but a bra guarentees your death.
 
Posts: 13616 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: October 15, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Edge seeking
Sharp blade!
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When you and some friends party at a rural or lakeside cabin with several cute girls, your odds of dying increase dramatically once you've done the deed with them. Remove condom, go home.
 
Posts: 5596 | Location: Over the hills and far away | Registered: January 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Shaql
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If the hot chic in the group wants to have sex with you, don't do it.

I'm not sure I'm learning the right lessons...





Hedley Lamarr: Wait, wait, wait. I'm unarmed.
Bart: Alright, we'll settle this like men, with our fists.
Hedley Lamarr: Sorry, I just remembered . . . I am armed.
 
Posts: 5211 | Location: Atlanta | Registered: April 23, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
bigger government
= smaller citizen
Picture of Veeper
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Never open a door, refrigerator or otherwise, and stand in such a way that it blocks the camera's view of the hallway/entrance/room, because when you shut that door, there will be a threat standing immediately next to you, EVEN IF the area was in your peripheral vision.
 
Posts: 7546 | Location: West Michigan | Registered: April 20, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Help! Help!
I'm being repressed!

Picture of Skull Leader
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Maybe it's best to rent sharp garden tools, lawn mowers, chainsaws, etc. rather than keep them in that dark woodshed.

Buy a new Smart Car with a push button start which doesn't require the key to be in the ignition to start. And a plus, when you get in you'll know there ain't nobody hiding in THAT back seat!
 
Posts: 9724 | Location: Big Sky Country | Registered: November 20, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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