Decades of careful study of horror movies has taught me:

November 22, 2017, 07:00 PM

If you are in a perilous situation, and something liquid drips down on you. ...

GET OFF THE X!

What have you learned?

November 22, 2017, 07:43 PM

jsbcody

quote:
Originally posted by RichardC:
If you are in a perilous situation, and something liquid drips down on you. ...

GET OFF THE X!

What have you learned?

1, If the dog runs away, follow the damn dog! Don't go looking for what scared him.
2. If you are about to or having sex with a hot girl, both of you are about to be killed.
3. Dividing the group is NEVER a good idea.

November 22, 2017, 07:53 PM

Orguss

Never say "I'll be right back."
Don't be the lone black guy in the group.

"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"

November 22, 2017, 08:28 PM

Modern Day Savage

- If you are going to answer the phone have a weapon and an exit strategy.

- If you are going to open the door for someone you expect have a weapon and an exit strategy.

- Indecision and infighting in the group will get you all killed.

- Be ready to be attacked when the music gets really scary.

- Get really creative in how you attack the monster or killer... bullets, knives, and blunt instruments usually don't work on the attacker. Best go for the explosion and fire options while using some heavy equipment or crushing machinery.

- When the killer looks dead they really aren't and need to be killed some more.

November 22, 2017, 08:28 PM

Kravashera

Never take your gun off and set it down right when you get home. Especially if your next step is to pour yourself a drink.

November 22, 2017, 08:34 PM

Rob Decker

I've learned I'm a frigging dead man. Army dudes - especially if they know their stuff - ALWAYS get whacked in the first ten minutes. And if not the first ten minutes, immediately prior to or during the climax to really up the ante on the protagonist.

If by some miracle they make it to within a few minutes of the credits they're almost guaranteed to die heroically to save the protagonist.

If none of that was true...they were either the bad guy, or a secondary antagonist, the entire time.

November 22, 2017, 09:09 PM

RichN

Never take your eyes off of the threat after you put it down. It ALWAYS gets back up.

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"They who would give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin

"So this is how liberty dies; with thunderous applause."
- Senator Amidala (Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith)

November 22, 2017, 09:14 PM

2BobTanner

The “dead” bad guy is NOT “dead”.

Double tap to the head and then cut off the head; that’s the only sure-fire way to “guarantee” that the bad guy is DEAD!

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LGBFJB

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." — Mark Twain

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H. L. Mencken

November 22, 2017, 09:23 PM

Vgex

November 22, 2017, 09:25 PM

hudr

There is absolutely nothing in that dark basement worth your life.

November 22, 2017, 09:38 PM

grumpy1

Always cut the head off of anyone or anything trying to kill you and you believe they are dead. Cut their limbs off too for good measure and if a wood chipper is nearby use that too.

November 22, 2017, 10:24 PM

smschulz

4. If the bad guy drops the gun, axe, knife or other weapon > PICK IT UP!

November 22, 2017, 11:04 PM

Orguss

Like, three of you have said to make sure the bad guy is dead after it was already said. Find a new trope to cite.

Also, a person's head getting cut off doesn't guarantee they'll be dead. I think Jason's head was severed from his body after being shot with an RPG in an earlier movie and then put on a robot body for Jason X. In another movie, only his heart remained whole and he grew back just from that.

November 22, 2017, 11:41 PM

jsbcody

quote:
Originally posted by smschulz:
4. If the bad guy drops the gun, axe, knife or other weapon > PICK IT UP!

5. Make sure he/she/it is dead. There is no such thing as overkill.

6. Advice for both the horror movie, SHTF, and combat zone: "When things get out of control and everyone around you is screaming and losing their minds, look for the quiet one and stick to him. He's fixing to cut fence and sort some bastards out."

November 23, 2017, 01:12 AM

FN in MT

Many years back, I was sent on a "Mysterious impact, Possible crashed airplane or possibly a meteor impact" , call.

It was of course in the middle of nowhere. I was totally alone, only Trooper working within a hundred miles, etc.

It ended up being an electrical transformer, a BIG one...blowing up.

As I approached the yellowish, orange glow, just over a hill....I thought of EVERY 1950's Sci-Fi movie like "The Blob" , "War of the Worlds" , etc.
First schmoe on the scene, always killed, taken over, abducted, infected, etc.

I was REALLY relieved when I saw it was a couple of electric poles on fire!

FN in MT

November 23, 2017, 06:19 AM

frayedends

quote:
Originally posted by grumpy1:
Always cut the head off of anyone or anything trying to kill you and you believe they are dead. Cut their limbs off too for good measure and if a wood chipper is nearby use that too.

This! I was going to post the same thing. If you hit them once with a shovel and they fall, and you run, they will get up and chase you.

Also, if you are hiding in the campground and you run to a cabin, turning on all the lights is not going to help you hide (Friday the 13th).

November 23, 2017, 06:21 AM

mr kablammo

quote:
Originally posted by FN in MT:
Many years back, I was sent on a "Mysterious impact, Possible crashed airplane or possibly a meteor impact" , call.

It was of course in the middle of nowhere. I was totally alone, only Trooper working within a hundred miles, etc.

It ended up being an electrical transformer, a BIG one...blowing up.

As I approached the yellowish, orange glow, just over a hill....I thought of EVERY 1950's Sci-Fi movie like "The Blob" , "War of the Worlds" , etc.
First schmoe on the scene, always killed, taken over, abducted, infected, etc.

I was REALLY relieved when I saw it was a couple of electric poles on fire!

FN in MT

LOL! A good laugh to start Thanksgiving.

My lesson... be in good shape and keep moving. Leave, move, amd keep moving.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre.

November 23, 2017, 07:28 AM

Sig209

quote:
Originally posted by FN in MT:
Many years back, I was sent on a "Mysterious impact, Possible crashed airplane or possibly a meteor impact" , call.

It was of course in the middle of nowhere. I was totally alone, only Trooper working within a hundred miles, etc.

It ended up being an electrical transformer, a BIG one...blowing up.

As I approached the yellowish, orange glow, just over a hill....I thought of EVERY 1950's Sci-Fi movie like "The Blob" , "War of the Worlds" , etc.
First schmoe on the scene, always killed, taken over, abducted, infected, etc.

I was REALLY relieved when I saw it was a couple of electric poles on fire!

That's damn funny !!!

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