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Picture of 2012BOSS302
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quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by kz1000:
If I wanted to hear from a asshole I would have farted.


If I wanted any shit out of you I'd squeeze your head.


US Navy variant: "If I wanted any shit out of you, I'd screw the top off yer head and dip it out."


If I wanted any lip out of you, I'd scrape my zipper.


***********************************************
America First!
 
Posts: 1812 | Location: Idaho | Registered: January 26, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of 280nosler
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by 2012BOSS302:
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by kz1000:
If I wanted to hear from a asshole I would have farted.


If I wanted any shit out of you I'd squeeze your head.


US Navy variant: "If I wanted any shit out of you, I'd screw the top off yer head and dip it out."


If I wanted any lip out of you, I'd scrape my zipper.


If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you.

Your breath stinks - you are clearly full of shit.




Nut up or Shut up!
 
Posts: 8005 | Location: 1200 yards out | Registered: January 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Membership has its privileges
Picture of P-220
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quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
Fuck you.

Pretty much covers most situations...


This.


Niech Zyje P-220

Steve
 
Posts: 34184 | Location: 45174 | Registered: December 09, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Go Vols!
Picture of Oz_Shadow
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Only one I remember is "I've been called worse by better"
 
Posts: 14040 | Location: SE Michigan | Registered: February 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
Picture of Ronin101
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a friend of mine was threatened "I am going to kick your ass!"

his response " go ahead...the only thing stopping you is fear and common sense!!"

I laughed my ass off. Of course you had better be willing to back it up if you use that one lol
 
Posts: 6445 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
Picture of Ronin101
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my wife "I am going to smother you in your sleep!"

me "Don't threaten me with a good time!"
 
Posts: 6445 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Don't Panic
Picture of joel9507
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quote:
Originally posted by Oz_Shadow:
Only one I remember is "I've been called worse by better"

My comeback to that?

"And, they were right!" Wink
 
Posts: 11610 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: October 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oh stewardess,
I speak jive.
Picture of 46and2
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Just a big ole yawn
 
Posts: 21705 | Registered: March 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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"I'll have your job!"
"You couldn't handle it."

"I'm not going to waste any more time arguing with you because I know I'm right."


A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a shortcut to meet it.
 
Posts: 1177 | Location: W. Central NH | Registered: October 05, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
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I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 14691 | Location: N. Houston, TX | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Unmanned Writer
Picture of LS1 GTO
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quote:
Originally posted by Oz_Shadow:
Only one I remember is "I've been called worse by better"


"I've heard worse from people I respect"

To a sailor with less than two years in navy and on his first cruise:

"This is my seventh cruise and I've been in navy 22 years so please, by all means, tell me how it works out here."







Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.


Help, I'm having premonitions of future flashbacks.

Only in an insane world are the sane considered insane.

Some people listen to the noise of the world,
And some people listen to the quiet.
 
Posts: 8475 | Location: It was Lat: 33.xxxx Lon: 44.xxxx now it's CA :( | Registered: March 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you
Go fuck a goat
Your mom dropped you on your head a lot, didn't she?
in reply to "don't get smart with me" Well, don't get dumb with me...

And finally, when confronted with just sheer stupidity, I like to tell people "I could stand here and argue with an idiot, but you'll just drag me down to your level and beat me with experience" and watch their face get all "huh, WTF?"


A Perpetual Disappointment...
 
Posts: 1572 | Registered: August 05, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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True story. But first, some context:

My sister-in-law, the only unmarried one of my wife's 4 sibs, is very tall (like 5'11" when her parents are 5'8" and 5'2"). She's blonde by choice, wears big heals all the time, and basically likes being very tall.

My brothers are 6'3" and 6'2". I'm 5'10" like my Dad and that was after growing 2" in college. So I'm a bit sensitive about my height.

My SIL once commented, like 20 years ago when my wife and I were not yet married, that she " wears high heels to weed out the insecure guys."

This irritated me a lot, and I immediately responded with "So Rachel, you're the only unmarried one, how are the guys weeding you out?"

Best come back ever. My soon to be wife and SIL shot me a look of pure evil. Hah!
 
Posts: 2361 | Location: Alexandria, VA | Registered: March 07, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Evil Asian Member
Picture of LastCubScout
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Coworker friend: "Tsk! You men! You'll nail anything with a pulse!"
Me: "I don't need them to have a pulse."
 
Posts: 4868 | Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: April 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of CNYTX11
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I'm usually partial to one of the following:

** did that new ointment help the rash down there?"

** did you get pegged last night?; cuz yer asshole is whistling dixie."

** stolen from Jack Palance -- "I shit bigger than you."


S&W M-66-2 (3")/ S&W M-65LS (3")/ S&W M-10 (2")/Colt Combat Commander Series 70
 
Posts: 635 | Location: Johnson County, KS | Registered: February 15, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Captain Morgan
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Someone said to me once, " I dont mean to be an asshole but..."
I said "Nah you were just born one"



Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin
 
Posts: 3155 | Location: Sparta, NJ USA | Registered: August 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
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quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:

To a sailor with less than two years in navy and on his first cruise:

"This is my seventh cruise and I've been in navy 22 years so please, by all means, tell me how it works out here."


"How long you been in the Navy, Son?"

"All fucking day, Chief."

-----------------

When offered advice by Seaman Staynes: "Boy, I got more time in the head than you have in the Navy."
 
Posts: 9689 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of vthoky
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quote:
Originally posted by tatortodd:
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong


I think my previous boss said this to me once. Big Grin



Support our troops, and our veterans.
Go Hokies!
New favorite quote from the golf course: "It's not the club, son."
 
Posts: 7443 | Location: Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Oh yeah???



"Even if the world were perfect it wouldn't be." ... Yogi Berra
 
Posts: 885 | Location: York County, VA | Registered: August 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If I'd wanted unsolicited advice, I'd have asked for it.
 
Posts: 390 | Registered: February 24, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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