They're a good person and I love them to death, but................................

Got to get back to my rat killin'

quote:

Originally posted by JWF:
Got to get back to my rat killin'

I responded similarly during my whole career to the usual, "What are you up to?" type question at work. Have no idea where I first heard it--I moved around a bit.

I am gonna tie a knot in your tail.

She thinks she is all that and a bag of popcorn.

He don't know me from Adam's housecat.

World goes to Hell, I can always go out back, carve myself a wooden beak and peck shit with the chickens.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
I am gonna tie a knot in your tail.

She thinks she is all that and a bag of popcorn.

He don't know me from Adam's housecat.

Reminded me of another one: Don't know me from Adam's off ox.

Tighter than a bull's ass at fly time.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Sailor1911,

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Knee walkin' drunk is a favorite here. Along with makin' groceries. Also fixin to go by yo Momma's and them.

Commode hugin drunk
Calling dinosaurs
Naming autos
How's your momenem

Friend of mine from Kansas would always say "sweatin' like Porky Pig on slaughter day"

Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice.

Sweatin' like Leon Spinks at a spellin' bee.

You guys got some good ones there. Aphorisms are great. These things really paint a picture.

Don't know what region these are from, but I call them Iowaisms because I learned most of them from a friend who went to the Univ of Iowa:

- He's so scared, he's shakin' like a dog shittin' butcher knives

- Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while

- He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel

- He's so dumb you could sell him dirt

- He could sell snow to an Eskimo

- He's like a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest

He is two cans short of a sixpack.

So ugly, she'd make a train take a dirt road.

"Each to his own", said the old lady as she kissed the cow.

That boy is so damn clumsy, he couldn't hit his own ass with both hands.

He's three cards shy of a full house.

That girl is stacked like a brick shit house.

She's prettier than a mountain morning in paradise.

I grew up in NW Montana, a logging and mining area. I won't repeat the more colorful sayings.

Hell even a blind squirrel will find a nut every once in awhile...

Even a broke clock is right twice a day.

Sometimes a hog stumbling around in the woods does better. {My stockbroker from Clarksdale, Mississippi used this phrase to explain why a portfolio run by someone who was not a skilled investment counselor, outperformed my brokerage account.}

Heard this on Fargo. Don't know if it's regional, hope it is, but it's stolen regardless.

Unfathomable pinheadery

Okey Dokey You betcha.

quote:

Originally posted by Chance:

quote:

Originally posted by reflex/deflex 64:
Oofta.

Lived in MN for 15 years, always saw that spelled

Uff da. ...

During the earlier days of the internets for me, 1994 or so, I saw "uff da" or "unf da" but I never heard it spoken aloud and I surely have no idea what it means.