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Stop Avoiding the Subject, We All Know It Came Out. The Dark Tower Trailer

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May 16, 2017, 12:45 PM
Orguss
Stop Avoiding the Subject, We All Know It Came Out. The Dark Tower Trailer
quote:
Originally posted by WesleyDelArma:
One morning Stephen King work up, painted himself in blackface and started eating his own novels while doing a serpent-like slithering dance around a film canister.

He was bellowing words both profane and true in a thick and mostly affected New England accent.

"Awwww naaaaah Maaaathaaaaa dis gaaaahnaaah be a gooooooood unnnnnnnnn!"

At this point Martha would add the necessary catalyst to maximize King's creative process: Fiber and sugar free Gummi Bears.

King continued his dancing and eating while the magic of creation occurred in his small intestine and colon. Then with a screech of unintelligible gibberish (still in a thick and largely affected North Eastern accent) he gave assbirth to this work of art as he squatted over the film canister.

The studio executives that were gathered to witness this ritual each immediately murdered a Pegasus to seal the bond of creation, and stooped to lick the new film clean and claim it for their own studio.

One producer with a disgusting and long tongue wrapped his fleshy wet mouthmeat around the canister and ran off with it to his studio that he may post it online.

Stephen King yelled after him "Yaaah kaaaah caaaaaaah faaaah daaaah yaaaaah!". He then farted a great loud and damp fart and passed out from the rigors of birth.

That said, I may still go see it.

I think you just described The Langoliers.



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
May 16, 2017, 02:06 PM
at-home-daddy
Didn't care for it. For me, it isn't so much that the story seems considerably altered, which, sure, can be justified when it's presented in a new medium, but rather the Matrix-like action choreography and, as well, the casting that, sure, seemed a little off when announced but now -- to me -- looks way off on film.

Nothing about it is clicking with me...looks like I'll wait until it hits Netflix. If even then.
May 16, 2017, 05:26 PM
jmalb
quote:
Originally posted by copaup:
Possible minor spoilers follow.



The movies happen AFTER the books. The books weren't Roland's first trip around the Wheel. The movies will be his last. IF (and it's a big if) they can pull this off and bring real closure to what is the lynchpin of all King's work it will be very impressive. I'm willing to accept Roland no longer looking like Clint Eastwood in exchange for that.



More spoiler talk:
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Didn't the man in black die in the books?
May 16, 2017, 06:52 PM
Georgeair
quote:
Originally posted by jmalb:
quote:
Originally posted by copaup:
Possible minor spoilers follow.



The movies happen AFTER the books. The books weren't Roland's first trip around the Wheel. The movies will be his last. IF (and it's a big if) they can pull this off and bring real closure to what is the lynchpin of all King's work it will be very impressive. I'm willing to accept Roland no longer looking like Clint Eastwood in exchange for that.



More spoiler talk:
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Didn't the man in black die in the books?


As noted in the quoted part, it's a wheel, so he's back?



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

May 16, 2017, 09:15 PM
Veeper
He who reloads with CGI has forgotten the face of his father.




“The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.”—H.L. Mencken
May 16, 2017, 10:19 PM
akcopnfbks
quote:
Originally posted by Paragon:
I suffered for that series, too. Was really disappointed by the ending.

When did Roland become black? Was he always?


No, he wasn't/isn't in the books. However, if you'll recall Book 1 (The Gunslinger), the very first part is called "Resumption". Additionally there are dozens of references scattered through the 7 books to this not being the first time Roland has been here/questing for the Tower. Couple that with the idea (also expressed throughout the story) that there are countless universes stacked on top of one another, all connected by the Tower (and the Beams), it's not unreasonable to consider that the Roland seen in the movie is in a different universe, or perhaps this quest is one of the other countless attempts at gaining the Tower.

Personally, I was unsure about the movie when I first heard about it, because in my mind (and SK's as well) Roland was/is basically Clint Eastwood. However I think the movie will be good, just different from the books. I'm excited about it.


_________________________
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than omnipotent moral busybodies" ~ C.S. Lewis

May 17, 2017, 05:36 AM
WesleyDelArma
Didn't the man in black die in the books?[/QUOTE]

As noted in the quoted part, it's a wheel, so he's back?[/QUOTE]

Yes he's back. He's back. Well he's baaaaaack. Baaaaaack! Back in black! YES HE'S BACK IN BLACK!

Yaaaaaaah kaaaaah caaaaah faaaaaah daaaah yaaaaaaaaa!
May 17, 2017, 06:20 AM
Georgeair
quote:
However I think the movie will be good, just different from the books. I'm excited about it.

This is exactly how we've decided to watch it. Simple entertainment and hopefully good, don't try to tie to book(s).

IOW, it ain't Harry Potter!



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

May 17, 2017, 01:03 PM
TMats
<---- Wonders where the ignorant and disinterested group is meeting Razz


_______________________________________________________
despite them
May 17, 2017, 01:57 PM
Orguss
I'm ignorant but not disinterested. Where's my group, huh?



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
May 18, 2017, 06:38 AM
Georgeair
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
<---- Wonders where the ignorant and disinterested group is meeting Razz


The Lounge?



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

May 18, 2017, 08:28 AM
Lord Vaalic
How about ignorant and mildly intrigued?




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
May 18, 2017, 01:07 PM
Orguss
Despite everything, I think we can nearly all agree that Stephen King hasn't had much in the way of good film adaptations of his novels save The Green Mile, The Shining, Stand By Me, and Misery. Maybe Christine. All his other novels have been turned into pure garbage.

So with The Dark Tower, I'm going into this with the expectation that it'll be great up until the last 20 minutes, where it turns into utter shit and I leave the theater wondering why I wasted my money.



"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
May 18, 2017, 10:19 PM
bobtheelf
quote:
Originally posted by Orguss:
Despite everything, I think we can nearly all agree that Stephen King hasn't had much in the way of good film adaptations of his novels save The Green Mile, The Shining, Stand By Me, and Misery. Maybe Christine. All his other novels have been turned into pure garbage.

So with The Dark Tower, I'm going into this with the expectation that it'll be great up until the last 20 minutes, where it turns into utter shit and I leave the theater wondering why I wasted my money.


The Shawshank Redemption stands out.
May 18, 2017, 10:23 PM
newmexican
It looks incredibly different than what I imagined when reading the books.
May 18, 2017, 11:45 PM
bobtheelf
It looks to be an entirely different plot from the books. It's based on the universe, but that's about it. For example, in the book, Jake enters the Gunslinger's world in an entirely different manner, and they don't return to his world.
May 19, 2017, 12:49 AM
Otto Pilot
quote:
Originally posted by bobtheelf:
quote:
Originally posted by Orguss:
Despite everything, I think we can nearly all agree that Stephen King hasn't had much in the way of good film adaptations of his novels save The Green Mile, The Shining, Stand By Me, and Misery. Maybe Christine. All his other novels have been turned into pure garbage.

...


The Shawshank Redemption stands out.

To be quite honest, that's a pretty good string of good adaptations. I've seen a LOT of stinkers over the years, to the point where I hardly ever watch a movie if I have previously read the book.

JK Rowling and Tolkien both got away pretty well in the grand scheme of things.


______________________________________________
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May 19, 2017, 07:52 PM
Fenris
I have not read the series. Does king conclude it, or is it left unfinished like Kafka's Castle?




The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People again must learn to work, instead of living on public assistance. ~ Cicero 55 BC

The Dhimocrats love America like ticks love a hound.
May 19, 2017, 08:29 PM
copaup
Yes. And yes...



SPOILERS



The first chapter of the first book is titled Resumption. The reason becomes clear at the end of the last book. Ka is a wheel, and it rolls on and on...
May 19, 2017, 09:14 PM
newmexican
It's been awhile since I read the books but I seem to remember him getting his hand or at least his fingers bit off by some sort of giant crab or something while he was injured and lying on a beach.

Because of that, he could only shoot with one hand and ended up giving the other gun to the lady in the wheelchair.

If this movie takes place after the books, he shouldn't be shooting with both hands.