quote:

Originally posted by tk13:

quote:

Originally posted by urbanwarrior238:
Q-How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

A-Answering the iron

How did she burn the other ear?

They called back.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No eye deer.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: rtguy,

Two drunks and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

...

...

Ba-dum. Tiss.

Why couldn't the pony talk?

Because he was a little horse.

Elton John's DNA test came back and apparently he's 40% glitter

Where did Napoleon keep his Armies? . . . .



In his sleevies . . .

quote:

Originally posted by rtguy:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No eye dear.

What do you call the offspring of an elephant and a rhino?
Elephino

quote:

Originally posted by rtguy:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No eye dear.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?



Still no eye deer.

What do you call a cow who no longer produces Milk?

- An udder failure or a milk dud.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a bee that makes milk?

A boobee

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: from stomping out forest fires

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stomping out burning ducks.

Sis Boom Bah

What is the sound made by an exploding sheep?

A State trooper stops a redneck speeding down I-81.

Cop to driver: "Do you have any ID?"

Driver: "'Bout what?"

quote:

Originally posted by kkina:
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroking off

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Did you hear about the escaped lion at the National Zoo today? One of the keepers left a door unlocked for a minute and one of the older lions managed to get out of his cage. He wandered out and laid right down in the middle of the main walkway. They had to call for an evacuation of the zoo.

The bad part of it is that this happened at the worst possible time. Many people don't know it, but the National Zoo is the site of a long running experiment in prolonging life. The zoo thinks that it has found the secret to living forever. In fact in this experiment they have some porpoises that have been living for many, many decades. Scientists think that they will never die. They have found out that as long as they are fed a diet of young seagull meat at exact 6 hour intervals the porpoises will never age. But if they miss just one feeding the everything goes back to normal. That batch of porpoises will die and the experiment must be started over from scratch.

So the zookeepers were at an impasse. The lion was blocking the only entrance to the porpoise feeding room. They were frantic that years of work were about to go down the drain. Finally the bravest of their number spoke up and said "That's about the oldest lion in the zoo, and he has always been friendly with me. Give me the bucket of young seagulls, and I will take a chance on getting past the lion and getting the porpoises fed." So his co-workers all wished him well, handed him the bucket and watched out the windows and he went striding off. Can you guess what happened?

He took the bucket of young seagulls and went down the walkway and stepped over the old lion with no problem. But after he did some cops showed up and arrested him. "Why did you arrest me?" he asked. The cops replied "We arrested you for carrying young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises."

"This bread tastes fishy"
"Well, I made it will all-porpoise flour".

Disclaimer... imagine my feelings when i came to post this and the previous post was about... porpoises.

Guess it was multiporpoise?

quote:

Originally posted by kkina:
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean ground beef.